My depression

[kitkat0502]

Hey guys! I came to this app to see if anyone is battling their “ demons” and have anxiety and depression also negative thoughts on the daily basis.

[Hidden]

Welcome. I do have negative thoughts just not as often as before, are you seeing a therapist or talked to someone about it

[kitkat0502 in reply to Hidden]

Not really it’s something that I don’t wanna talk about

[Hidden]

Yes, you are not alone, you have come to a great support venting thinking out loud home base. I find that my anxiety gets triggered by anything I have to get taken care of. I can freeze and procrastinate and that is silly cuz somethings just have to be done, work, paying bills, running errands, chores etc. K, I do the essentials then its time to get to the stuff that is needed to be done however back to procrastination, gotta get over that. Then there are the things I just don't understand. Why do I have to do it, how do I do it. I just don't understand and then my brain freaks out, high anxiety kicks in and when I still can't understand, figure out how and why, my brain freaks out and shuts down into depression, deep depression if I dwell too long. I have been working on just doing the best I can, understand the best I can at that time and accepting reality and either making a change or just manage the best I can. Because high anxiety, depression and deep depression do not help. I am trying to just do my best and life is life. Knock on wood!

[kitkat0502 in reply to Hidden]

I can totally relate to you! Sometimes my anxiety or depression get in the way that I do not know how to do even if I do it on a regular basis and sometimes I just act dumb because of them. Unfortunately this is my first stage to helping my depression but it can get so so bad that I would think about suicide ( I don’t actually do it) but I think bout it and wonder how it feels that’s y I rather not go to a therapist because if I mention how bad my thoughts get or go into detail I’ll go into a mental hospital

[Hidden in reply to kitkat0502]

I hear you and can relate but what is on the other side, worse, eek!

[Xena13]

You came to the right place!

[Jeff1943]

Do not battle your demons, kitkat0502, if you want to recover from anxiety, and depression about having anxiety disorder, I suggest fighting it is the worse thing you can do.

Fighting the symptoms of anxiety causes strain and tension. Your sensitive nervous system needs less strain and tension not more. Has 'fighting' your anxiety cured you? I think not nor will it ever.

This is a case of doing the exact opposite to the course of action that comes as instinct. The opposite of fighting is acceptance (for the time being). So instead of fighting the symptoms accept them instead. Agree to co-exist with them (for the moment). This way you stop saturating your sensitised nervous system with more stress and fear hormones (which is what fuels their over-sensitisation).

Once you decide to Accept your symptoms, with the minimum of fear you can muster, you give your nerves time to recover. Your nervous system is waiting to heal itself just like any other part of your body. By stemming the flow of negative hormones you give your nerves time to do exactly that. Recover.

Fear is the enemy of those looking for respite and recovery from anxiety disorder. So how do you 'accept it with the minimum of fear'. You can do this through understanding and reassurance. The power of anxiety is limited. On its own it cannot kill you or maim you or make you lose your mind. Anxiety is very good at planting frightful thoughts in our mind but it is a toothless paper tiger. Its roar is worse than its bite.

Of course it's symptoms are discomforting but you now know they are not life-threatening. They are merely a minor short circuit of your nervous system, a negative thought. Why allow yourself to be bullied by a mere thought?

Instead, do not respond to the flash of first fear with second fear. Stay calm - you are in control now not anxiety. Simply engage in masterly inactivity when the bad feelings come by practicing Acceptance.

Do this long enough and your nerves will return to their normal passive state and your demons will desert you.

We win not by the punches we give but by the punches we take. This is the way forward that in the fullness of time will give us back our quiet mind.

[kitkat0502 in reply to Jeff1943]

Ik fighting is not good trust me but I’m trying not to be this “ broken” or “ fucked up” girl that people see I mean no one is perfect but I wanna b seen as happy and have happiness back into my life after breaking up with my ex ( we were in a serious relationship)

[Hidden]

Welcome katkit, I also deal with depression, anxiety, PTSD and negative thoughts. I never sought out help, because like you, I didn't want to talk about certain things. I finally reached the point that I knew I had to something or end up in a very bad, dark place. I started seeing a therapist a couple of months ago and I'm so glad I did. I'm starting to talk about things and getting them out in the open. I can now work on letting them go, move past them and no longer let them have any control over me.

Joining this site is a good first step and it was also my first step in getting help. You can also talk to people in a private chat if there's things you want to talk about but don't want to put it out there for all to see.

I'm curious why you think you'll end up in a mental hospital if you see a therapist.

[kitkat0502 in reply to Hidden]

Lolly56, I feel like I would go to a mental hospital because u can say I’m a psychopath like I wanna kill everyone in the most gross way possible like I literally wanna kill everyone sorry if I scare you away but that’s y I don’t wanna go to a therapist

[Hidden in reply to kitkat0502]

You're not going to scare me away but that's the reason you should get help. Those thoughts can manifest from your depression and anxiety. Which is a result of whatever it is that happened to cause the depression. Please don't be afraid to get help.

[kitkat0502 in reply to Hidden]

I’ll try

[maldonado85]

Welcome. This site is a great place to vent. I myself suffer from depression and anxiety for many years. I have negative thought once in a while. A couple months back I had to have my doctors change my meds because I started cutting so I could have a pain that I felt I could be in control of. I also started just feeling like if i would see a tractor trailor coming full force at me on my side of the road that I wouldnt even move out of the way. ( that has not even happened to me ). I have also not sought out speaking to someone because there is a lot from the past that haunts me and I do mot want to talk to people about it. I know some people say it is a good thing because you get it off your chest amd have a lot of relief however I feel like I would be judged and it would cause me way more anxiety. I just had to have my meds increased again for a little while because I relapsed with cutting. I was 1 day short of 5 months and I relapsed. Its a hard fight and I feel your pain. Vent hear as much as you need. the great thing about the people here is no one judges you. That in itself is such a relief. You are strong and bada$$ for your fight against mental illness remember that! ❤️❤️

[kitkat0502 in reply to maldonado85]

You are strong girl❤️❤️💪 but I can totally relate to you