Hi... today I found this interesting talk from a professor (Stanford Uni)... I'm kinda nerdy by the way... and I discovered in ust 1 hour that Depression is so much more complex than i've believed all this time. I've wondered why medication wasn't working and why I felt like there was no escape to overflowing feelings when EVERYONE around me kept on saying... "Oh, come on, get over it, everybody's been through it". Actually, the professor uses that stigma repeatedly on the video. If you have the time, here's the link:
Hi you don't come across as a nerd or overbearing at all, just very helpful sharing that video with us all. Thank you for that.
Most people underestimate depression and think that feeling blue and unhappy for a while is all it entails. That's when they tell you they totally get it but they recovered and so can you. I rarely tell anyone about mine but if depression ever comes up as a subject I will say that true depression is a serious illness and not to be confused with normal feelings that everyone has from time to time. x
Of course you are not being a pain! We all get anxiety and/or depression on here which makes this site such a valuable resource. I have a couple of friends who understand coz they have spells of proper depression and we talk about it with each other. It's very cathartic. x
I have one friend I can talk to openly. But, unfortunately, I live in a place where mental illnesses are very much taboo, so I wouldn't, for the life of me, get a certificate of medical absence from my psychiatrist to take to the school where I work as a teacher. That's the serious reaction, the non-serious one is usually just dismissing you as emo or gothic (whether you may or may not be into the fashion). Those are the two ends of the spectrum around here.
Unfortunately, I live in the past... that's what foreigners say when they come to stay for a while, that they had taken a "trip to the past". I'm starting to value this space very quickly too.
I found this really fascinating and have learned alot. Thanks so much for making it easily available by including it in your post. I had GAD with depression 2 years ago and am now more or less fully recovered. I do ofcourse know it could return, but the stuff around the number of stresses and other factors you need to make it more likely to return was very interesting. I will listen to it again when time to get my head around it better.
Antidepressants worked well for me. My sister had a very major depression with anxiety and needed to be hospitalised for several months around 15 years ago and has also had a good recovery in many respects but still has a certain amount of anxiety. We had some developmental trauma in childhood due to rejection by our father. Be interesting to hear whether you or others also experienced childhood stresses such as death or other loss of a parent or sibling, bullying or trauma at school etc. Some of us have already had an interesting discussion on "toxic parents" and whether or not friends need to understand depression or anxiety to be of support to us.
This lecture has really helped me to start to understand how genetics, childhood stresses, life stress, the endocrine system - hormones, the nervous system and psychology interlink and all help in the understanding of depression and anxiety. They affect whether or not we get depression or anxiety, how we respond to treatment and likelihood of reoccurrence in our lives.
I am so sorry to hear that you have found it difficult to respond to medication and have not had understanding support around you. Have you been able to access psychotherapy at all?
Sapolski covered how important it is for others to understand that depression, (and I would say anxiety also) is as real and physical an illness as childhood diabetes. We often say to each other on this site that those who have not experienced it cannot understand it but he made a clear enough case for other people to take it on board. He also made it clear that they very rarely do which has reminded me of the importance of education for professionals as well as the public. I have even found therapists and GPs to be blaming and stigmatising in their attitudes. My own GP who has had anxiety himself is great but I am yet to get any therapy due to the insensitive and ill informed attitudes of certain therapists in the service I was trying to access.
I have been lucky in responding well to medication. I have also felt from experience that it is possible to do alot of self help in setting myself challenges each day, trying not to be afraid of symptoms, excercise and lots of positive self talk etc, all easier said then done. Many people find it impossible to do these things due to alsorts of psychological and social factors however. I had a very strong positive mother and have good support from family and friends, even though they do not all understand, so I think that will have helped me alot to find my way out of my depression and anxiety.
I am also now thinking more about how genetics can impact on whether or not people respond to antidepressants as well as likelihood of getting depression and anxiety in the first place. This was touched on in the lecture which covered such alot and so well, but I would love to hear more about that and other factors which influence the effectiveness of antidepressants. I would also love to know more about all this in relation to anxiety, particularly GAD, my main diagnosis. I have read alot but am struggling with finding anything other than the simple info on health websites and the very dry complex stuff on Google scholar, so any suggestions on further reading or videos etc welcome.
I do not think you need to apologise for being nerdy by the way. If you do, I certainly do. People are free to read and take from it what they are interested in and ignore it if not.
As a fellow nerd, thanks so much again for posting this. It would be great to get more like this really interesting and comprehensible lecture by Robert Sapolski. I will certainly Google him.
Kkim, thanks for your missive (there's a nerdy word). I live in a "developing nation"that's how the 1st world calls us. Here I've had access to public health, of which I'm not going to complain 'cause they saved my life while in crisis, and through them found the right psychiatrist for me. I have been unsuccessful finding the right psychologist though. Maybe it's the university here, the National University, the major one and the best by all accounts, where all these hippie-like minds gather to speak about mayan psychology. I need a much more structured approach.
I keep a journal which has done wonders for me. Dialectal-Cognitive Theraphy, DBT, is what my psychiatrist suggested I got started on. I made the charts that came in the manual for self-observation page size and made a bundle of copies. I've been completing the journal on a weekly basis since November last year and have found that as the doctor said, there are some times during the month in which vulnerable, yes I cry for no reason, yes I do stupid things like tasting spray for mosquitoes, but I've also noticed the illness doesn't drop me in bed anymore.
My family has taken the confession that I couldn't find a good reason to live very badly. This was one year ago, my sisters and brother ignored it, I guess they have no idea what to do with it. And my parents took it as there being no reason for me to think like that, my dad even asked me once once :"Where's your pride?". He has some narcissistic traits, so it was to be expected, my mom, a self-centered person, told me she couldn't believe how much I hated her (she saw HER not ME in the problem).
But thanks to really strong medication, olanzapine is not for faint hearts, I'm now back in my 20's, as a friend who understands and does therapy put it. she can see the strength back. and even though I force myself in the mundane to pay the rent in the name of independence, I'm yet to find a reason or more like an objective. I can't go on with thoughts of suicide that come and go whenever I have my period, It's insane.
I guess I'd better stop here, too much misery for our first exchange. Look forward talking to you again Kkim. Seems like you're also a self-reflective person who would try to find information and discuss it, if possible.
How can I send you the files I made for the journal, if you're interested in taking a look at them?.
Thank you for posting this Aymara. I found it quite comprehensive and insightful for marrying the sometimes seemingly incompatible perspectives of psychology and biology. I’ve been reading about this stuff for years in an attempt to understand a biochemical reason for my depression.
I don’t think it’s nerdy at all, we have to learn so we can help heal ourselves, we know what works for us ultimately better than an outsider.
I hope you’re doing ok, and I’m happy to listen if you ever need to talk.
Mental illness in my opinion isn't something to be cured, but dealt with, utilizing coping strategies, sometimes medication.... Governing environmental factors... Staying physically healthy... Mental illness is manageable, but does it ever really go away.... I tried repeatedly to go off my medication, but to no avail... I need supportive people more then I ever did... And avoid toxicity... But there is something about mental illness, once you accept it, and stop fighting it you see the purpose in the disease rather then the affirmity
Thanks for sharing this! I'm also motivated to read and research about depression to make sense of my own suffering. I also highly recommend a book the Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon. It's a pretty comprehensive discussion on the different aspects of depression mixed with his own experiences.
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How do I tell parents about my depression?
Telling my parents about my depression...
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