Telling my parents about my depressio... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Telling my parents about my depression...

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Hi people,

So I'm new here-I literally made this account just a couple of seconds ago, and I'm not really sure how this works. But to get to the point, I think I'm going to confess to my parents about my depression and anxiety tonight. No one in my family other then my older siblings know I've been dealing with this, and I was wondering if anyone had any tips that will help/encourage me in telling them?

6 Replies
Whatsthepoint profile image
Whatsthepoint

I’ve never told my father but he knows as my sisters told him. He’s of the older generation that depression is “not a real thing” but he’s been remarkably understanding. Sorry no real advice but you are not alone

travelinglump profile image
travelinglump

Tell them. It's really important that you do. I have had anxiety and depression for a while. It got to the point during my second year of college that I started having suicidal thoughts. I felt completely alone and didn't know what to do. It was so hard to tell my parents. I felt embarrassed that I couldn't take care of myself. I was terrified that they would shrug it off as unimportant or just tell me to get over it. I know it's scary, but it is worth it. Once I finally opened up a huge weight was off my shoulders. I had other people's support to carry part of my burden. I got help and didn't feel so alone anymore. You would be surprised what your loved ones will do for you when they really care about you. That is priceless. It is worth telling someone. If your parents don't listen, tell a close friend, or a teacher, or a counselor. Tell SOMEONE. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. The fact that you are reaching out is a huge first step. Keep going :)

Tell them! Whatever happens, this burden will be off of you and you will have made immense progress by getting through that. I started to get depressed over 10 years ago at the beginning of my sophomore year of college. It was hard. I saw a therapist and took meds. Last year I tapered off, thinking I didn't need the meds anymore. I became very anxious once I decided to quit my job this summer. When my parents came to visit they encouraged me to see a therapist. I met with a psychiatrist and started to go back on meds. I've been in bed a lot lately, which isn't necessarily bad all the time. Our bodies need rest. My sister liked to call depression "deep rest." Without my parents I might not have sought treatment or it might have taken longer to make these steps. I don't feel much better, but when I am I try to be productive so I can rest in excess. Life is always changing and we need to embrace the bad as well as the good. Believe me, I'm not doing that well but I will. Just made my first post today that was rather desperate. But we have to keep on keeping on. And when we can't we take a break. I believe forest fires need to happen every now and then. Unfortunately I can't talk like this with all my friends, or rather I don't wish to. Ask you siblings how to approach your parents OR just do it now. You will feel good to get that over with.

If you like, let me know how it goes!

- Kaitlin

in reply toKaitlinWithEmotions

Hi Kaitlin,

I actually wasn't able to check the replies to this post until after it all happened but they're so helpful and resiliently encouraging all the same. It went-Well I'm not really sure what the right word for it is. My dad seems like he wants to help, and this morning he inquired about it even more so that I was able to tell him about my panic attacks too. I don't think either of my parents have the strongest understanding of depression and how it's not just a bum mood, but I think I was able to get that through somewhat to my dad. So as far as he's concerned, I'm hopeful.

With my mom, I don't even know. She seems angry this morning and I don't think anything I said last night got through to her. When I told her that her aggressiveness in interactions we have with each other doesn't help, (She's very verbal and emotional, and seems to get upset pretty easily) I think she took that as a personally attack against her. Today it's nothing from her that I haven't dealt with before though, so that's good.

The very best thing that happened is that I found a really good support system in my two older siblings. They helped me break the news to my parents, came up with ideas of change that could help, confessed that they had had their own struggles, and sometimes when I couldn't express to my parents what I wanted to, my oldest brother stepped in and plucked the thoughts straight from my mind and confronted my parents for me. After the whole thing with them went down, I'd say I felt even closer with my siblings and it was insisted by them that if I ever needed help or anything else of the sort, I could go to them. So besides the wariness I have with my mom right now, I'm also a little bit hopeful.

You were right, I am really glad I got it over with. Thank you for your kind and helpful words, and in turn I'm sincerely happy you were able to tell your parents too and progress came from it. "Deep rest", I really like that and I think there is immense truth in your forest fire belief; we just have to make sure it doesn't completely consume us.

KaitlinWithEmotions profile image
KaitlinWithEmotions in reply to

Stay hopeful! I had a good day yesterday and today will keep getting better. I need to restructure my thoughts and words because they are powerful. Thoughts affect feelings. Sounds cheese but it's so true.

Justswimming profile image
Justswimming

Well tell them that you want to see a Dr and therapist and if there insurance will cover it...they may feel responsible so go easy...its important that you advocate for yourself.. You could also tell a guidance counselor at school if that is any easier ..it depends on what type of parents you have....when I was a teenager I was depressed and my parents just blamed me for being moody when I really needed there help they blew it off as a character flaw..but its not its a disease that is highly treatable let me know how it works out and if you need help getting info let me know

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