How do I tell parents about my depression?

Hi! I'm new here and I'm 16 years old. I have been struggling anxiety since I was 9. I deal with it more now in social settings and go out of my way to avoid interactions with people. I've had depression since around November. I'm currently taking Lexapro and have been for several years. I recently just started therapy again and she suggests I try a new medication, but I can't change medications without my parent's approval. They know about the anxiety, but they're not the most understanding. They ask each other "Why is she like this?" and it's embarrassing because they act like it is something I chose to be. They always request a reason for being nervous and I'm afraid when I tell them about the depression they'll need a reason for my sadness. I know that my depression is probably caused by my anxiety, but I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Lately, I've thought a lot about killing myself and I know that I probably won't, but the thoughts are still there all of the time. I know it's a way out of this pain. My friends aren't very supportive either and most of them probably wouldn't care if I existed or not, so I decided to join this support group because I feel like I'm living through this alone. As for the anxiety side of things, I deal with it more now through day to day scenarios and school is hard because people are so judgmental and I'm paranoid. I also worry a lot about my grades and my plans after high school.

My therapist is giving me 2 weeks to tell my mom about the depression. What would be the best way to do that?

8 Replies

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  • Sometimes are anxiety gets the best of us and it does trigger depression and my family Is similar to yours just explain to them how I feel and it's not like you choose to feel this way...just let them in your deep feelings on how you feel even if you have to cry it out so they can see your emotions are real.

  • First, it is great that you are seeking help in other ways. You are most certainly not alone. I am sorry that your parents are not more understanding. It seems that a lot of people do not fully understand depression and anxiety. I am not sure how you should approach your parents. I have told my family but they all either went through it themselves or understand depression. I am fortunate to have a supportive family. However, maybe you can ask your counselor if they can talk to your parents? Usually when a certified or professional speaks to parents, they listen to them more. Maybe you can also ask your counselor how to approach your parents. You need to let them know how serious this is and that you need their help. When I was going through chronic depression as a teenager, my mother did not know what to do to help. She would get mad at me or say things like what you are describing. Why are you always in your room? Why are you always playing video games? Why don't you come hang out with your family? I wanted to say why don't you help me? I asked my mom for help numerous times and she never did. Even when I was hospitalized because I was so depressed and stressed I ended up creating a heart murmur. The doctors ran so many tests only to find it was stress and depression causing these symptoms. They told her that I needed to seek a therapist asap. She finally did after that. I'm not sure if this helps, but like I said, ask your counselor if they can talk to your parents or help give you ways you can.

  • Thank you so much for responding! I'm supposed to see her again next week, so I can talk to her about either her explaining to my mom, or ways that would make it easier for me to tell her. I basically live in my room and I try to drop other little hints to get her to ask me about it maybe, but she doesn't get the hints. I know she's dealt with postpartum depression before but I'm not sure how close the types are related. I just wish I could change my medicine without having to have her consent. I could wait until I'm 18, but I would have to feel like this for two more years and I don't think I would survive that.

  • Put down everything on a piece of paper that the psychiatrist has given an ultimatum of 2 weeks for informing the parents and hand over to them.it will help them understand you and life would be much easier

  • I also want to say that you're not alone. I'm also 16 but I've been aware of my shitty mental health since 9 years old. And since you've posted this 5 months ago can I ask about the update? What happened with your parents? I've been wanting to tell mine about my mental health since years ago but with every day that goes by I'm even more convinced that I should keep it in the dark and hope that I don't kill myself before I even get a chance to talk to a psychologist about my problems.

  • So I told them about it, but they acted the complete opposite of what they should have. That was months ago, but now I feel even worse and I want to kill myself. It got better for awhile, but telling them about it did nothing to make anything better. It all just made it worse

  • Was your therapist helpful when it came to telling your parents? After reading the previous posts, I though getting your therapist involved in telling them would be helpful for them as well as you.

    I really wish mental illness was looked at as a serious health condition because it is. It's so hard to have people in our lives who don't understand it.

    Hoping for your parents understanding for you.

  • She offered to help me tell, but I felt uncomfortable about it. I thought my parents would be mad that I didn't tell them myself. They briefly know, but I just come home and I have to act like everything is fine. It's really hard sometimes, so I just mostly stay in my room. I'm very uncomfortable with talking about all of this with them and I wish it wasn't like this, but I don't know how to make it not uncomfortable

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