When is enough enough? 😔

[brokenlight]

My father & I were both diagnosed with PTSD.

But after much research, I think C-PTSD would be much more accurate.

Because our past experiences have been very different, it’s been very challenging for him to accept my diagnosis.

*I was first diagnosed in 2008

& then again in 2014

*He was recently diagnosed & diagnosed with bipolar disorder

His PTSD comes from severe, repeated physical abuse that he suffered as a child & also from his father’s suicide/having to clean up afterwards as an adult.

My PTSD comes from childhood sexual abuse, abandonment issues, things that I’m still coming to terms with, long term emotional & psychological abuse as a child & into my teens, & the domestic violence that occurred in my 1st marriage including attempted rape.

I’ve been on SSI for PTSD, major depression, & an anxiety disorder for years.

He works & works & works & works.

I dove into therapy for years & have made huge strides in my healing.

He thinks therapy is bullsh*t & would rather live in denial.

My father didn’t raise me, let a terrible man legally adopt me, & has been in and out of my life/my kids’ lives since day one.

Sometimes we get along & sometimes we don’t.

I think sometimes we hate each other, or maybe that’s just me.

We tried therapy together which brought us closer for a short time, but we recently fell out and it triggered me in multiple ways.

Yesterday I discovered him and his wife deleted me from Facebook, but decided to stay friends with My Wife.

I know this is petty & dumb but it still hurt.

Recently he told My Wife over the phone that he didn’t know I had PTSD which blew my mind & hurt me to my core.

Not only is he denying his sh*t, but now he’s denying mine.

It hurts more than I’d care to admit.

Writing this out has been helpful & my plan is just to protect myself, My Wife, & our kids. Even if it means that I’m protecting them from their own family.

Thank you for reading & thank you for being here ✨

[JLoInCali12]

Hi Brokenlight - it sounds like your plan to protect yourself and your family is a good plan.

As for your fathers denial, that is his path, right, wrong, or indifferent. He’s going to do what he’s going to do - try to accept that fact and let go. Try to focus on what’s best for you and your family - and what you can do/control.

[brokenlight in reply to JLoInCali12]

Thank you so much for your reply JLolnCali12. ✨

I appreciate your advice & support a lot.

[Hidden]

Thanks for sharing your story. Denying is a defense mechanism that can be used to defend to prevent feeling emotions.

[brokenlight in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply Inclove.

That’s very true and I appreciate the reminder. ✨

[Dolphin14]

Working is a coping mechanism to help with denial. I did it for 17 years and wasn't aware of the depth of my issue until I was re traumatized. I suffered job burn out also.

I think therapy is a wonderful thing

Best of luck to you