I've been battling anxiety and depression my entire life. I grew up in a home filled with love but so much sadness. My mother has lupus and as a child I remember coming home from school and she would not be there. She would be hospitalized for a month at a time. So I grew up fast to care for my siblings. My father later lost his job and could not afford to support the family so he became emotionally and physically abusive. I became very depressed at a young age. I felt hopeless. Later my younger brother was diagnosed with schizo- effective disorder. And loosing him to that illness was unbearable but over 10 years of trying to find the right medications and finally stabilizing him brought the family closer together. But I continued to struggle with anxiety and depression and eating disorders. Last year my youngest brother was diagnosed with anca vasculitis and has kidney failure. Seeing him almost die in front of me was more that I could mentally bare so I ended up in a mental hospital. When I was released I stayed with my family to help each other through these difficult times. I was diagnosed with PTSD and chronic panic disorder. My mother and youngest brother continued having complications. In December my mother was hospitalized for 3 months she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and is now with terminal cancer. I've been fighting my whole life to keep my family together but it feels as though it is coming to an end and there's nothing I can do. Life can sometimes be very cruel. I don't know where I find the strength to get up everyday. But I try my best.