Spinning out of control

[Strongerthanmonsters]

One by one something else goes wrong, just when I think everything is okay I get hit with a battery of problems. Depression and anxiety don't leave me alone. I've been throwing up, shaking, not focused and overwhelmed. I have stuff I need to do, but just can't. I didn't sleep last night. I was so proud because I finally stayed through a sleep over without running in the middle of the night leaving just a note behind. That proudness was taken away today when I found out the harsh reality that once again I picked the wrong person. My "best friend" tells me the lies he's been saying. I just really wanted this to be different. He was the first one that I felt somewhat safe with. He is just trying to play me, my best friend tells me. Why is it so easy for me to believe a guys lies. I need to stop believing lies because they can lead to what happened before, but I am so lonely. Sometimes I wonder if I am meant to go back to that toxic relationship. At least in that relationship I knew where I stood, I knew the rules and I knew the consequences to those rules if broken. For the most part it was consistent, not healthy, but consistent. The only thing that keeps me company, that won't go away is my depression, anxiety, PTSD and insomnia. Each disorder plays a key role in making my life hell. But, I keep telling myself it will get better.. I think.

[leanneski]

Hi, sounds like you’re having a real struggle. Everyone deserves to be loved and to have healthy relationships, they’re just really hard to find sometimes. But being in a toxic relationship just to avoid being lonely means you will close yourself off to the opportunity of meeting someone you truly love and who truly loves you! Look after yourself 💜 x

[pink318]

Hello- Sorry for all you are going through.

“But, I keep telling myself it will get better…” That’s what I also think whenever I face difficulties, although it’s challenging to keep going. Through prayers and by believing God’s promises that I was able to win my battles. So please don’t give up hoping that things will get better. There will be times that you may get tired but I hope you will stay strong.

I pray that God’s peace and healing be upon you. Please keep us posted. Take care of yourself.