I’ve been having a tough time lately. I’ve lost my best friend, I’m in a loveless verbally abusive relationship, one of my cats is dying and the man I think of as a dad is not in his right frame of mind.
I really hate getting out of bed. It is my safe spot and I only get out of bed because my bf makes me when he gets home, no matter how little sleep I get. I have always suffered from anxiety and slight depression but since my mom died almost 8 years ago I have really gone downhill.
A few months after she died I started getting seizures and was diagnosed with epilepsy which in turn made my anxiety go through the roof and that led to worse depression. I feel like I have no one and hate getting out of bed. I don’t feel like eating and have to force myself to eat and take my meds. I had my sertraline upped a few months ago to 200mg and I’m just as bad. I always took care of myself physically (ie. wear makeup, skincare, dress up etc.) and now I stay in pjs all day, no makeup or skincare as of late and no showers 😔. I literally wash up with scented baby wipes.
I’m in such a freaking slump. I think I will look into online counselling, even though it’s never helped before. I’m not me anymore. I know a huge part of me died when my mom did but it’s just getting worse when I thought it would get easier. I feel like a robot, have to wake up, take pills, eat, watch tv with my bf until he has to sleep then I just lay in bed again.
This time of year sucks for me as I live in Canada and any slight breeze makes my asthma awful so I can’t do anything outside whatsoever and no karaoke due to Covid numbers and living in constant fear of friggen seizures.
Does anyone else just want to stay in bed 24/7? Any tips to actually want to get out of bed?
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AnxiousCanadianChic
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Oh boy, I feel for you, I really do. On the one hand, your boyfriend is getting you out of bed, which is positive but on the other he is abusive. If he were not around, you could well stay in bed all of the time but how long before you stop taking your medication?
You seem happy to contact people on-line. on-line counselling sounds a good place to start, they may be able to sign post you to somewhere local for support. I live in the UK so am not familiar with how it works in Canada but do you have a Social Worker and if not, would you consider referring yourself to Social Services for help?
Getting involved as a volunteer for a charity is a great way forward, a reason to get up and go outside. It would help you and others! Win, win. Your local church may be able to help as well. Martin.
Well I have coverage for some counselling, I have to look up how much. I would volunteer but I can’t drive due to epilepsy and I’m terrified to be around anyone due to Covid. I have to rely on my bf to get anywhere.
Dear AC…… I have been through anxiety and depression in recent years, I have lost three members of my family, and my future son in law to covid since last September 2020……, I also have siesures because of Epilepsy, Diabetes, I have mini strokes too, and various other medical problems, including being disabled.
I would say one thing to you, you must control your medical problems, don’t let’s them control you.
You must also become more positive, get out of bed, have a relaxing Bath/shower, apply your make up, get dressed….. worried about going out, go out during the evening, stay in your local area, have or wear a face mask?
With respect to an abusive boyfriend, only you can decide to act on it, leave, perhaps return to your parents house if you can.
I wish for you to get a quick result to your situation.
Tremendous advice from Don. ! - Don't let your medical problems control you.I like a nap every day, but will get up and potter afterwards
. I try to pluck up courage to walk my dog most days, if l don't feel up to facing the outside world by day l don't feel guilty, 'cos practically every night my husband and I walk the dog.
Right now am preparing to get up and do some tidying, a job I really hate, 'cos we might have visitors later. Will throw on some music to lessen the pain!
I feel scented baby wipes would have unnatural ingredients which would br nad for your skin and your asthma..
I'm sorry you are feeling so down, but laying in bed all day will be detrimental to your wellbeing, over a period of time. Your bones can get depleted of calcium and soften if you don't get exercise.
It's good that your BF gets you out of bed, but you also need to get out of the house and into the sunlight even if for only 15 minutes a day, in order to top up your vitamin D.
Have you thought of a service dog? There are seizure trained dogs, amongst others.
You are still grieving your Mum's death, and with a verbally abusive BF that makes things doubly difficult.
Can you get him out? or is his name on the lease? will you be able to cope without him?
Your situation is rather tangled, but I have been in an Abusive relationship, and lost family members, and I know you can survive this.
He’s also on the lease. I won’t go to a shelter as they don’t allow cats and I have to put one down today 😢 but I have my little girl left still and will never leave her. If I have to deal with him to make sure I never have to give her up then I’ll do that. I have looked into the service dogs but hardly any places here accept dogs and honestly, I don’t think it’ll help. I do get auras that basically lets me know I’ll have one or might have one. Usually when I wake up I will have that feeling, then I try to sleep more and that usually makes it better and no seizure.
We just renewed our lease. I can’t manage on my own as a 1 bedroom apartment here is 1k(in an ok neighborhood) and I only get $1700/month. I would also have to pay bills, buy food and my herbal supplements/vitamins, cat litter and food etc. There is a chance that my seizures could get worse but that would likely happen around menopause I was told.
I'm so sorry for your loss and hardship! I know it takes a lot to climb out of that. I am sure you can tho and are strong. Some things that help are taking magnesium every day since it calms your mind body and spirit and taking ginseng to get out of those sticky negative thoughts that loop. Extra B vitamins will heal your nerves and give you focus and energy. Also, speak up for yourself to your husband, don't let him walk on you! Treat yourself as you would someone else you love, and stand up for you as you would them. People will treat you as you let them. Talk back to him and let him know you won't stand for it. You'll be surprised how it stops him and changes things. Also do somethings you love and want to try, accepting it will not be amazing at first, but just for fun. Volunteering is a great way to be needed too! Bless you dear!
Ohh I do let him know and I have even left for a small break for a weekend and tell him next time will be a week, then more. The “then more” is purely a threats I can not live with my “dad” as he doesn’t live in my city. I know 90% of my anxiety now is due to seizures and almost 90% of depression is feeling alone/missing my mom, my bf is about 10% of that. I know he has to have something mentally wrong as I know most guys in their 40s don’t overreact to small stuff and start swearing at their gf and calling her names.
He has his dad and 2 brothers and tbh, they are all aholes. His mom died by suicide before I met him so I don’t know how she was but due to seeing a text from his brother a bit ago I am now aware she was bipolar. Maybe just genetics or upbringing? I really don’t know. His whole family is always fighting with each other and I don’t have anything to do with any of them due to how they treated me and talked about me before I ever met them.
I do take a lot of vitamins, I take an adrenal fatigue pill that has ginseng, ashawanga?(not sure the spelling) b vitamins etc. I also take vitamin C, D, multi, k, magnesium etc.
when i went through my depression ( I came out of it beginning for this year) i used to numb and ignore all my feelings with watching tv, you tube and computer games, until i started waking up eating cereal in the afternoon (i would sleep at 8am) crying in m breakfast, i hope you don't get there, but if you do at the very least you'll know you have to change things in your life. my point is that i know it can be tough the sooner you get a grapple on things and make some kind of plan and work towards some goals thing swill get better that was what it was like for me
I’m going to talk to a therapist about it as I know most of it comes from my epilepsy. I don’t spend alone time watching TV as I have to watch it when my bf gets home and I can only handle so much tv.
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