Control

[Strongerthanmonsters]

I am losing control of everything. The only thing I feel I can control is my food intake. Yesterday, I was so anxious I threw up or at least my body tried to throw up all day. I didn’t eat except at night I at two chicken nuggets and five fries and a diet soda. I didn’t eat the rest of the night. I woke up this morning wanting that control again so, I didn’t eat again. I knew I would be asked again today if I ate so I took one bite of a bagel and said, “now I can say I ate today.” My best friend looked at me knowing that I didn’t eat much yesterday and that I could tell her the exact amount and that today I only ate a bite of a bagel and not willing to tell the whole story and said to me, “Um that’s not healthy.” In that moment, I knew I had been caught so I laughed it off. She said that since someone already will be asking if I ate she will too but she will ask how much and of what. Now, I am faced with a choice of lying or telling the truth.

[BellaStarXX]

Hi Strong. I feel the exact same way today. From the moment I woke up I started to get anxious because I woke up with congestion (I have health anxiety). I have been feeling like throwing up and I have no appetite.

I am sorry that you felt like throwing up all day yesterday, it feels awful. How do you cope with these feelings?

[Strongerthanmonsters in reply to BellaStarXX]

Typically, I take a few minutes by myself to do something I like to do. Do something calming like watching your favorite tv show or singing to some songs. Sometimes I use pressure to calm me. My mom and I made a weighted blanket for me to use to calm down or I have someone hug me or lay on me for a long period of time to reset my CNS. I have a bin of sensory toys I use for my anxiety. Honestly, it gets hard when you haven’t slept in a while.

[hypercat54]

Hi I am concerned that your are controlling your eating and starving yourself. If you are doing this you could be suffering from an eating disorder such as anorexia. Please either eat or seek help as this is a very serious condition and you could die if you don't eat.

Your two choices aren't lying or telling the truth but to recognise that what you are doing is potentially very dangerous and to tell your parents what is happening.

I presume you are 16 or over? If so get yourself to a doctor and seek medical help. x

[Agora1]

Strongerthanmonsters, I agree with hypercat, this kind of control is nothing to

play with. You need professional help before it spirals out of control. I speak as

the mother of an anorexic daughter. As each organ is attacked and your electrolytes

go down, you really are getting more our of control. Our bodies were not meant to

just live on air. We need food as fuel and water as hydration to keep going.

Please talk with a parent, family member or if in school, a counselor. Keep us

updated please. We care, I care and want you to be safe and healthy. xx

[Strongerthanmonsters]

This stuff happens sometimes. I’m keeping track of it (Today was just day 2 of not eating). I will usually go back to eating soon so, it not a problem. If not I will seek help and I’ll definitely mention it to my therapist. I’ve been dealing with mental illness for around 8ish years of my life. I remember my sister use to try to force feed me and I don’t ever want to go back to that. I just need time to feel better. I’ll be okay! I’ll keep you guys updated.