Friendship and Mental Health

[isthereasweeterplace]

Today (and not only today) I ran into one problem.

I have best friend. And we have a really great relationship. But sometimes, when she is in a bad mood and when she complains to me that she is not feeling well, I cannot support her. I want, but I just can’t.

That's because I basically feel bad most of the time (severe depression, OCD ...). At such moments, I think that my problems are much harder than her. And I know that this is not right. I am wrong.

I feel guilty for that. And I really want to support her at such moments, but I can’t squeeze out a word.

How to deal with it?

[Hidden]

Half the time people just want to sound off, receive a smiley txt and a hug don't be so hard on yourself you obviously care you don't have to give super advice just listen and let the person know your there xx

[isthereasweeterplace in reply to Hidden]

You’re right.. Thank you! 🙏🏼

[Agora1]

It's hard to give advice when we are in such pain ourselves. However, just a simple

I understand or a hug can convey a caring without taking too much away from your

own issues. xx

[isthereasweeterplace in reply to Agora1]

Thank you! 🙏🏼

[Iammesues]

But she’s not feeling well and she’s your friend. Care for her as you wish she’d care for you. It will circle back to you with love

[Blackdog1]

My dad was never big on demonstrating his concern in words when I felt bad but I knew he still cared. He would often offer to by me lunch when I was sad, and I appreciated it.

Maybe make a gesture if you can't summon the words.

[isthereasweeterplace in reply to Blackdog1]

Thank you, I’ll try!

[Hidden]

I know it can be hard to don’t compare them with the size of your problems, but you just have to listen, you can help her just doing that

[star767]

I’m sorry you’re in pain :/ Sometimes, it helps another when all you do is listen. It may not feel like much to you, but the other person could feel lighter.

[Hidden]

Easy For me to say

Ur investing in her

She’s yur other half

Ur there for her acknowledge her suffering and feelings. She will heal and be a life long companion for u in the same way someday not that it is that conscious but taking care of her and her needs when she’s hurting will show u care and heal u as well

[Want2BHappy3]

Don’t feel Bad at All, friends and family don’t mix with anxiety. We don’t have the patience or time for that. You have to make yourself a Priority. I have a friend like that, she’s mean to me sometimes. I don’t call her and sometimes ignore her when she calls. Don’t beat yourself about it not worth it 🙏

[Hidden]

Hi please don't feel bad for not been able to support your friend, your mind can only take on board so many problems you need to be with people that can lift your mood, your friend isn't been fair to you knowing you are I'll have you been to doctors or try some mediation c d I am going back on them is there something that has triggered your depression take care x

[Hidden]

I’m bipolar and ADHD, and this is what I advise to the people I’m around.

Sometimes not helping is helping. Company is the best help and it may feel unappreciated but don’t. It’s so freakin appreciated. I’m sure others like me would agree.

As they said, don’t be hard on yourself. You have a great heart.

Wish you the best. Love ya and enjoy this a new day better than yesterday, filled with new experiences

[isthereasweeterplace in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! 🙏🏼

[Hidden]

Hi, sorry you're not feeling well and don't feel guilty for not helping her. If shes's in a bad mood and needs to rant/ vent, then all you can do is listen.

Since this lockdown I've listened to a few friends off load. It's just that I have the same issues as them and they know I'm a safe place for them to do so and vice versa.

Keep safe.

[Suzymonkey]

It happens.... for me with my boyfriend. This is not a quick fix, and I don’t do this so perfectly either.. but sit down to meditate each morning. Once you have your focus, think about something great happening to you, and feel the happiness. Then think about something great happening to your family, and feel the happiness. Move onto your friend and feel happy for her thinking about great things happening to her. Then same thing - but think this for a stranger. Then try (just try) to feel the happiness for someone you dislike. If you can’t, it’s ok, stop there for the day. Next day, try this from the first step. I feel like it makes me 0.5% more compassionate every time I do it, regardless of the situation (empathizing when others are happy, or sad and need help).

[isthereasweeterplace in reply to Suzymonkey]

Thank you, I’ll try! 🙏🏼

[Hidden]

Some people want space

That is support

OracceptNce ie not chalkenged

No

Pop psyche

Ur trying to hear the feeling

As well as the issue

Being a real true friend

Is

Support

Just be there and try not to fix

Most women tell us men time and again

I wanted to talk or find someone just to talk

Helps me process

Or music

Or flowers

Try to put yurself in her shoes. She’s suffering in depression and not her choice

As u prob know

Not trying to be insulting