Lingering Anxiety

[DistressedPoe]

Been feeling better these days. Happier actually. Honestly, my friends' support + the friends I've made here have really helped me pull through.

Though I'm still a little bit worried. I'm constantly on guard for when anxiety might appear and my mum doesn't make it any easier by constantly saying hurtful things. I mean, if I get something wrong by accident, just telling me would do. I'm more than willing to fix it. But she has to say the most triggering things and I'm scared I'm gonna let her words get to my head and become frantic again. I really want to go back home...I don't think I can last 5 months here in my parents' home. I really can't.

[Kat63]

Have you and your mom had a difficult relationship?

[DistressedPoe in reply to Kat63]

not really....i mean we're close. but we're very different. and just...things she says, i just dont agree with. she isn't very sympathetic and just says things that can bother someone without caring. otherwise she's great.

though i can never share my issues with her. i keep my sadness to myself.

[Kat63 in reply to DistressedPoe]

Your mom sounds like my best friend. About a month ago, I tried to talk to her. She didn’t understand a thing. She didn’t get it at all. But she’s a good person.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Kat63]

mhm she's great ! she just...doesnt understand that sometimes people need reassurance and comfort. not just "do this, do that you'll feel better" or "you're not doing anything" to make me feel worse. instead of listening she always cuts me off to start talking before understanding the whole thing or she just stops me and says "stop thinking over these" or that i need a psychiatrist.

all i really need is some comfort and some friends and work to do....

[1OshunDreamer]

It took me 35 years before I figured out my mother was the beginning of my anxiety. Your saying familiar things to me. If you can, go stay with someone supportive for a bit. Ask to speak with her at your next counselor meeting or on neutral ground to hear each other out. The space and talking may help you both.

[DistressedPoe in reply to 1OshunDreamer]

heh i dont think it will. she's an opinionated woman and would probably think im being ridiculous by being uncomfortable over things she generally thinks are trivial. she doesnt quite understand my anxiety. plus, im not comfortable talking to her about it. it causes me distress. i've never been able to be open like that with my parents.

[1OshunDreamer in reply to DistressedPoe]

I wasn't open with mine either. I was afraid of how my mom would react. I told her when I was like 12 that I wanted to kill myself. She slapped me in the face and told me I was being stupid. She still tells me to get over stuff. The kicker is my sister and I think she has anxiety and depression too. Our mom's sound similar, that's why I was afraid to do anything for so long.

You have to be comfortable with your decision. I just thought I'd share that I wished I would have said something sooner. Good luck.