Random anxiety attack

[DistressedPoe]

Wow so this was interesting. I just randomly had a panic attack. Being in the dark was scaring me (I love being in the dark) and I couldn't fall asleep. And now I'm frantic as hell and I'm exhausted and burnt out. I really feel somewhat sick and tired.

I really want to leave this place. I don't want to be here. It's not good for me and I'm feeling terrible about myself and in general just SAD. I feel such a strong urge to just...run away. I want to go back home I can't do this. I wake up every day and there's nothing for me to ACTUALLY do. Yeah, I could do random things or watch movies but I don't actually have a REAL purpose. Like what am I doing with my life nothing. I've been on holiday for 4 months and I have 5 more months and I don't think I can make it. I really don't think I can.

I need help. I need to escape. I hate it here and I really just want to leave.

[leanneski]

What about getting a job for the next few months, give you something to do for a while and give you the opportunity to meet new people and gain some experience? X

[DistressedPoe in reply to leanneski]

I can't really get a job here 😅 they have these strict rules. Since my Visa is only for a few months for visiting purposes.

[leanneski in reply to DistressedPoe]

😁 x

[Kat63]

Sounds like you’re having a bad day again. A few days ago, you were hanging out with your brother and that seemed to help. Is he nearby right now?

[DistressedPoe in reply to Kat63]

He is...he came to my room for a bit to hang with me. Made me feel calm. But I was still sad. He has exams so he's really just SUPER BUSY studying. They both are. And they seem a little stressed. Honestly I haven't left my room except to get food or if my parents call. I just feel so sad and out of it lately. I just want to leave this place. I want to go home.

I had a panic attack last night. Had to call up a friend and rant. I still feel a little bothered but I guess I'll be fine. I'm just...I feel exhausted. And a little scared. 5 months being like this is tough. It really is. All I really want to do is run away from here. I don't like it here.

[Kat63 in reply to DistressedPoe]

I know it’s bad. Try to get through one day at a time.

[DistressedPoe in reply to Kat63]

Thanks Kat. I'll try. I just...I'm not alone, right ? Everyone goes through this. Right ?

I just...I don't wanna feel like I'm going insane

[Kat63 in reply to DistressedPoe]

You are not alone. I know for a fact that I go through it. Sometimes I wonder if I’m going insane.

[kvolm2016]

Sorry this is such a tough time for you. I saw your comment about not being able to work due to visa restrictions but what about doing some volunteer work? If you are not having to be concerned about finances while there, it seems like a great time to do some things you would enjoy or even try some new things. Thoughts?

[DistressedPoe in reply to kvolm2016]

Hmmm..that actually doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to look for some ! I spoke to my dad about driving classes since I haven't driven in 3 years and I've forgotten. So that should keep me busy.

Thank you for responding with your suggestions and actually taking time to read what I said. I appreciate it ❤️

[kvolm2016 in reply to DistressedPoe]

I bet the driving will come back to you pretty easily but it's definitely smart to do the class/classes just to be safe!

The thing that I have found with volunteering is that it gets you around other people and it also gives you a chance to be helpful. I help at a food bank where they give out groceries to families in need. All the volunteers pitch in to work together for those 4 hours, there are interesting people to talk with and it feels good to be helping others. You mentioned feeling like you are without a purpose and being able to help someone else definitely serves a purpose!

[DistressedPoe in reply to kvolm2016]

Thanks! I'll try to look for a place. Though... idk how things around here work. People here are.... Strict and a little mean...but I'll try!