Struggling

[mercybastion]

I am going through a hard time. I have had anxiety for many years and was doing really well working with a therapist until last summer. My therapist left to take a new job. I felt like I had overcome my demons and didn't start with a new counselor. Around the same time, my then-fiancé and I started trying to have a baby. When it didn't work month after month, my depression and anxiety came back and I withdrew from my partner. About six weeks ago, he broke up with me. I just moved into my new home, but it doesn't feel like a sanctuary a home should. I just feel isolated and so sad.

[Hidden]

Close relationship especially like yours where you were trying to start family, you are entering a different phase in your Relationship.

Both parties need to understand when trying to start a family, A Baby is not given on demand and the future Parents ?, have to be accepting it may take time before the arrival of a child. Personally I feel the stress at this time can be very raw, therefore you and partner need to be singing from the same page. It is no good walking away from this type of relationship that you both entered that is counter productive and it means one of the party or both is not ready for that intensity of relationship.

However when a break happens you may feel the loss and anticipation you had can be very raw. So now it will take time before you can move on, talking does help.

Do you not feel your ex-Partner was not really ready for this type of responsibility, if that is the case the breakup was for the best for you and future, proposed child. The child would need a settled home

BOB

[Kat63]

You’ve gone through a lot of bad stuff in a short period of time, and it’s very normal and understandable that you feel shaky now. If you already have tendencies to anxiety and/or depression, the bumps in the road of life hit you harder. Try to be kind and understanding towards yourself. It’s OK that you’re not-OK right now.

[JAYnLA in reply to Kat63]

I agree. I've recently started allowing myself to take time and be lazy if I need to be - not a normal state for me - and it is helping. We need to be gentle with ourselves when our selves are vulnerable.

[mercybastion in reply to Kat63]

Thank you. Having a stranger point out that it's ok to not be ok right now helps a lot. I haven't told anyone at work or people around me that I'm going through anything hard, but I am.

[SheWrote]

You are a beautiful human being... please believe that, no matter what your past or your circumstances look like. Depression and anxiety are not our friends, instead, they try to remind us of everything that is wrong. I think continuing to work on this with a counselor might be beneficial. Until then, were there any tools your previous counselor gave you to help cope when these feelings came back? And, do you have a close friend or family member that you feel comfortable sharing this with? Having support around you is so important when you are feeling like this, even though that might be the last thing you want to do. I know, I have been there. But, by reaching out here, you are taking the first steps to freedom from anxiety's hold. You are stronger than you think, believe in yourself and keep pressing in!