Feeling defeated

[Oct7skye]

For the past year and a half I have been fighting to get my children back. I had a neighbor who decided to interfere on how I discipline my children who’s behavior has been continuously unacceptable. She disagreed with me spanking them with a belt and called CPS. Long story short I had to go through a lot of red tape to get my children. I have completed everything and continue to comply now there is a new worker on my case and she wants me to do a new laundry list of things. I have done the proper steps to get my kids back and filed with the court. Why all of a sudden there’s so much that hasn’t been completed. This is very stressful and depressing for not just me but my children as well. I find myself staying secluded from everybody and thing. If it’s not pertaining to my children or self I want no parts. I don’t think it’s healthy to be alone all the time but seems like that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’m a very lonely person. Family always busy living their best life. Crazy part is I’m the one who help them get to where they are and even call to check on them even through my struggles.

[hypercat54]

Hi I must admit that whilst I agree that the odd smack doesn't hurt children I would draw the line at using a belt. I do think this comes under child abuse and this is why you lost your children. My mother used to spank us but never used anything. When I was a child my parents took in for a short time a friends daughter who used to be tied up and beaten black and blue with a belt. This had severe lasting affects on her and made her terrified of her father. Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted to hear.

I do hope you will never do that again and get your children back soon. x

[Oct7skye in reply to hypercat54]

No, you didn’t offend me. I only used that method after all other methods of discipline were exhausted with their clothes on. This was the least favorite punishment I used on my children but the one my parents used on my siblings and I. I have worked hard but there seems to keep being hangups every time it’s time to move forward.

[hypercat54 in reply to Oct7skye]

Did it work for you? Your parents beating you? x

[Oct7skye in reply to hypercat54]

Yes ma’am! Never did it again

[hypercat54 in reply to Oct7skye]

No hang ups or lasting damage? x

[Oct7skye in reply to hypercat54]

No, back than you either did what you supposed to or get the consequences. No, I didn’t like what in my culture we called a “beating” but I learned from the first time I did it not to do it again because I would get that “beating”. Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of other practices used that i haven’t or would never use. I’m the oldest of Seven raised by my grandparents. Life moved very quickly and lots of responsibilities. I took a different approach at raising my children but back then children won’t disrespectful and ungrateful like they are now. Society has them feeling privileged and like they don’t have to listen to or respect others. Although I got physical discipline, I came out to be just fine.

[Hidden]

Good luck getting your children back, have you thought about joining a parenting groups or local group where you can socialise with others ? It's good that Young's e tried so hard to get your kids back, you clearly love them very much, we used to get the belt when we were younger, it was a scary time waiting your turn, but it didn't have a lasting effect on me, I just knew not to step out of line when my dad was about

[Oct7skye in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I definitely have taken advantage of those groups as well. You are definitely right. My parents did not play.

[kenster1]

hi I think you realise that using a belt was maybe a bit harsh but most of us probably had it from our parents and even in school.although it must be hard for you and your kids its important to work with the system to get them back.just keep rolling with it do all you can and get all the help needed to improve the family situation as a whole.maybe even child behaviour counselling.

[Oct7skye in reply to kenster1]

Thank you! I have a lot of services in place to help my family.

[AuntBee]

I suggest you hire an attorney to help you if you don’t have one already. If you have done everything they have asked you do to, I think you need someone to advocate for you who knows how to work through the system.

[Oct7skye in reply to AuntBee]

Thank you! I have been looking for one.