To much stress

[aaronm]

I told my wife that she has taken on to much for me. 10 kids was fine and now her dad. I feel like I've been pushed over the edge. I flipped out on the kids again twice today and when I do I get very angry. I feel like I'm . close to losing all control. I told her I may not come back...like we can be married but maybe from afar. As I'm saying all this shit her dad knocks on the door. I can't even cry in my own room. Now I'm outside.

[jkl5500]

Is there anyplace you can go for an hour or two to just let your nerves settle down?

[aaronm in reply to jkl5500]

I did go outside. Its unseasonably warm here so it was nice.

[Starrlight in reply to aaronm]

If you don’t mind where do you live? I live near DC in VA and it’s very warm here too.

[aaronm in reply to Starrlight]

My home is actually in Lewisburg WV but I work in front royal, VA about an hour west of DC.

[Eowyn7]

You have a ton on your plate right now. Its totally understandable that you are overwhelmed. I hope you can take some time to yourself tonight- maybe go see a movie by yourself?

Once emotions settle, you should discuss with your wife a timeline for her father's departure. If you are not ok with him being a permanent resident in your home you should have veto power on that. I understand he needed a roof over his head temporarily but he definitely needs to figure out where he will go next and when.

[Hidden]

I think you need a bit of a break don’t you Aaron ? Is there anywhere you can go for a breather?

If all this is too much for you then after a few days of stepping back then you and your wife need a serious chat about how to go forward in a healthy way for everyone including you . Stay in touch. You’ll be okay just breathe and take one minute at a time .

[Hidden]

hi aaronn,i think deep doun youre just a big soft hearted person.

and love your wife,@farther in law,

[aaronm in reply to Hidden]

My anxiety and depression show itself in anger. Before I was on meds I would lose all control. I've never hit anyone but that's why I have a punching bag.

[Hidden in reply to aaronm]

I know that Aaron's but you're a big hearted softy,so admit it 🇬🇧

[aaronm in reply to Hidden]

I'm not denying it. One time we had some new foster kids. My 10 year old (adopted out of foster care) said, "Dad can be really scary when he's mad but don't worry. He'd never hit a fly."

[Skydreamer42 in reply to aaronm]

I could use a punching bag myself!

[BonnieSue]

This is a really tough situation, Aaron. I agree that your FIL needs to make plans to live elsewhere so YOU don't find yourself living elsewhere. Your family needs you and you need them. As mentioned, when the emotions settle, talking about making plans for your FIL's time to move away is a great idea. It will give you hope and a deadline for his departure. I'm sure Nicole would rather that than lose you. I know I would. (You've given it a fair try and it's not working for you.)

JEG and I will always be beside you no matter what you decide. J wants you to know that and that he cares very much. He's not feeling so great right now so I'm responding for him. We'll be here for you whenever you need us. We'll add you to our prayers, also. Give yourself a break, Aaron, so you can better deal with this. Give yourself as much time needed as a break daily so you don't flip out on the kids, ok? It's preferable to do this than to flip out and ALL of you regret it.

Love you, Aaron!! Hugs, Love, Prayers, and Blessings be upon you as needed. Every minute of every day.

[aaronm in reply to BonnieSue]

I leave today to go back to work. I work 3.5 hours away and stay in my RV.

[BonnieSue in reply to aaronm]

Oh good! I'd forgotten your work arrangements. That sounds like a significant break for you! I admire you for being open to moving your FIL close by and trying so hard to allow him into your lives. Many people wouldn't even have attempted such a tough thing. Actually, I doubt the vast majority would have. But you are open to caring about other people, to loving them, which is exactly as our Lord would want you to be. You're still in our prayers for wisdom, strength, endurance, peacefulness, and every blessing you need at this time. You're important and you matter a whole lot to us.

[Hidden]

Your reaction is understandable and all of us here knows how much you love your kids, a day away, to yourself might help🌻

[aaronm in reply to Hidden]

I do love my kids.

[Hidden]

Oh my goodness...I really feel for you...sounds like you're really getting down on yourself. Please don't do that...you are an amazing man...more men should be like you! May you find the peace today...I wish you all the best. Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[aaronm in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

[Hidden in reply to aaronm]

As always my pleasure Aaron...feed positive into your mind...I'm with you in spirit! Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Catwoman2018]

Hi Aaron, you must be under so much pressure and eventually something has to give. You are an amazing caring family man and I think you need to have an outlet where you can go for a little time out now and then. I'm sure you'll work through this. Sending you lots of love. xx

[Starrlight]

Aaronm I just raised my voice at my 6 yr old because over and over he insisted on not doing what I asked of him and there were tears and it sucked so badly seeing him distraught and I am beating on myself for it. I need a new approach like a reward system when he does the main things I need him to do. Like if he gets 5 stickers he gets I surprise.

I can’t even imagine what you are going through raising ten kids but I think it’s soooo awesome. Please let’s give ourselves a break. Let’s do something nice for ourselves to recharge. How can we put it in perspective? Maybe... We do our best and try to figure out ways we can improve and problem solve. We are doing more good than poorly I believe we just get stuck on the negative and we care so much it just really hurts. My heart will be hurting all day until I see him again to make amends.

[aaronm in reply to Starrlight]

I understand the feeling. I think a break is a great idea. Its easy for me because I just go to work and when I'm off I'm alone to relax.