I have been having terrible detailed realistic nightmares about my trauma. Rn i just had a nightmare of dad visiting home me, mom and sis but being scared and leaving and mom getting so upset that she started drinking and abusing us, she got us in the car to go on a walk to feel better but sat on the backseats with us and i was like "but nobody is operating the car". Meanwhile dad went to pick up his wife whom in my dream was meeting friends and he told her he should have came faster, not staying with us and not leaving her alone. My sister said something and mom attacked her. I wanted to call a therapist or the emergency but mom wasn't letting me saying she is heartbroken and we're egoistic kids. She played her terrible music that she used to play when i was little and she was getting mad at me, grounding me, taking the tv from me and changing the channel to this terrible music. More happened but im too terrified.It's 9pm. My sleep schedule reversed. Im feeling feverish.
Horrific detailed nightmares about my... - Anxiety and Depre...
Horrific detailed nightmares about my trauma
I am so sorry. I suffer from nightmares as well due to prior trauma. They can feel not just real but real and even worse at times than the initial trauma. I see a PTSD counselor and it has changed a lot for me. CBT wasn't working at all. For years, the only way for me to fall asleep was to watch a movie I have seen a lot. No real brain work so to speak. I told her that it was probably bad to have the screen time. Then she explained how PTSD can work and why I need that way to fall asleep. I find when I can allow myself the time to zone out, I do fall asleep and have less nightmares. If I am already stressed heading to bed, I usually will have a few that awake me in either sweat or tears. I GET IT. I never see a correlation of the dream to what is happening in current times. You aren't alone and I get some good support on the PTSD forum here too. Breathing exercises help some....but I know exactly the paralyzing fear you are have at this moment. I would be there if I could to comfort as it will pass....but the waiting is already hard! Years ago, I had someone just walk out of my life and took everything from me (yes all the material things, but mostly my confidence). My husband did something similar.....but in a totally different context....and it triggered an all out event for me. He couldn't understand that I didn't feel safe and that at the moment I needed to only feel safe. I have finally spilled most of the beans to him on my traumas over time and to see him cry really broke me down. We want to be understood, but we also don't want to burden. I think folks with PTSD beat themselves up too much and often blame themselves. Hang in there. If it makes you feel any better my sleep schedule is CHAOS. I get a few chunks here and there but have three small kids. Nightmares versus sleep deprivation. OYE. Wish I could do more for you.....
I don't have anything to add to your post; it speaks very clearly to me. The line about how "We want to be understood, but we also don't want to burden" encapsulates a major crux for me and, I suspect, a lot of other people.
Thank you.
It's so hard for us indeed. Honestly im tired of changing therapists and idk if i can find a ptsd one here. Thanks for understanding, i hope you feel better too
All the details of your dream sound terrifying and soul-rending and like a scene from a horror film. But there's something about the specificity of your dream that makes me wonder if your brain/mind is signalling that it is ready to face your traumas more directly? Perhaps n ow that school is soon to be over for a while, your mind feels as if there's some space to examine your experiences. Maybe your dreams have always been like this, though. I hope you will share this post with your therapist.
Yeah, they're always so scary. But im really starting to think i should get that "psychological surgery to remove that trauma tumor" before it's too late and before i have school, work and anything. I will be in knockdown after the psychological operation as after a physical one. But it's killing me. I overslept my one therapist whom because of her froudian views gives the weirdest explainings and my cbt one isn't really focused on my dreams, she knows it's because im stressed and have past trauma and is planning emdr and my psychiatrist also said i better do it before it's too late and also i don't meet her a lot. Just twice a month and i have so much to talk about
Are you serious about getting surgery? I can't tell. I'd go nuts with all the different therapeutical messages you're getting.
I go nuts going through that hell
Well, of course. I'm so sorry.
It's fine
How are you doing? Is your semester ending? (I'm sorry that I don't remember.)
It ended, now "preparing" for the final exam. Im not preparing, im going mental. I missed my life battling a mental illness
And that is genuinely tragic.
😭
How are you doing today? ATC?
Thanks for asking. Struggling with sleep and one person
I guess. I think nightmares are really connected with stress
I know many folks that use EMDR and have so successfully. I don't fully understand the "point of no return" type of message. I have never been told it is too late to deal with my trauma and I am currently living in a brand new one. I know it is so hard with some therapists and Drs. Making the right connection and finding that empathetic provider can seem impossible. Have you written any of the nightmares down? I did it for my non-PTSD therapist for a year. It was nearly impossible to find a pattern: was it stress, was it just where my mind went to try to recover and heal, was it brought on from birthing kids. I have childhood abuse trauma that didn't come back to me until through a dream in my 20s. I remember then asking my parents if the name of the older neighbor boy was "Travis" and they said yes that was his name. I had buried it so deep, but did come out of EMDR with this and am doing ok from that experience. I at least stopped blaming my child self! There was a posting a few weeks ago about re-experiencing trauma....I may have even wrote it. When I have a really bad dream, it feels so real that I feel like it is happening all over again. I truly understand the fear of sleeping. If you are worried you'll be waking up and in a nightmare, how could you possibly want to sleep. I spent 4-5 months with no sleep due to high dose prednisone. That lack of sleep led to more nightmares. I was in a vicious cycle. I do hope you try EMDR.
Im sorry you went through that. And thanks for advice. My nightmares do have a pattern it's my family, my parents. It's a really obvious pattern.
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