To Much

[diamond47m]

I'm a 55 year old woman, a widow, mother of a son (30) and daughter 23. I'm having a tough time because they are really all I have left in this world. My dad is 88 on on hospice and we dont expect him to make it through the month. I literally have more people in heaven than I do here. I have become very depressed and tired, I barely sleep because I'm up and down the stairs all night checking to be sure daddy is still with us. It's just heartbreaking. I've never gotten of the depression from losing all the others especially my husband. How am I going to handle this?

[kenster1]

hi really sorry to hear your news god bless you and your dear dad.your kids will be with you every step of the way offering full support.ive lost a few family over the years each one different.its possible to grieve before loss have you sought out any help yet.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry. I lost my dad one year ago and my fil who I was closer to six months after that in our house and a friend I found out died just two days ago. It's so hard. I don't know how to make it better but I am here for you anytime. ❤️

[All_alone]

Hi Diamond4m. I'm 55, widowed and no children. I lost my dad in 2014 and still miss him everyday. I always went to him for advice and support. I wish he was still here. I think about him a lot and I think he knows it. I'm so sorry. Does your hospice have a support group or counselor? Hugs for you many times over!

[RockClimbing]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I understand. I’m 54 and I have been going through the same thing. Our parents and family are getting older and it’s scary. Most of my friends are going through similar things. It’s not easy at all! I can’t really offer any great words of wisdom I’m sorry. Hang in there 🤗 don’t forget it’s okay to take care of you too.

[hypercat54]

Hi I have lost both my parents, my dad 11 years ago and my mum 6. It's very hard isn't it? I don't have a partner or kids - just 3 sisters. I am not close to any of them. It's a sad fact that parents usually go before us but that is natural. I hate death. I have lost friends too in the past. I said to one of my sisters that I know it's selfish but I want to be the first of us gone coz I am not sure I can take many more deaths. After each one there is another sad place in my heart and it's getting quite crowded in there.

All you can really do for your dad is to be there for him as much as you can, but dementia is very cruel isn't it. Am thinking of you. xx

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to hypercat54]

Not all family is DNA related and not all DNA needs to be related to hypercat54. My DNA brother is a narcissistic knob. I don’t waste my time. However I have 2 men who call me sister. My best friend has put up with ME for 25 years. I had to move to a different state to keep her though. You know she had to make boundaries.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I’m right there with you sister. I’m 55. My Pops is 78. He’s been fighting COPD and now has cancer. I have more people in heaven and a few in other places than with me. This is why groups at churches for mourning are necessary. I’ve done two already. Absolutely wonderful.

I plan on dying my hair blue, learning to smoke, painting a poodle pink, and traveling the country in an RV. I’ll need to find some cat eye glasses. There’s a whole club here in the states.

Go through the group sessions. It’s very helpful.

Sending peace and love your way💛

Doaty

[gbn_]

Hi diamond47m. Just saw your post now, I can really relate. I too have lost many family members, and I always think about them from years ago when everything seemed so different than it is now. Seems as time goes by, we all learn more. I look back on my memories of Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, my own parents, my brother and many friends and more. As a child when most of the family members were getting up in age, thinking now as I do, I wonder if they too suffered with thoughts of depression, anxiety and loneliness as I do now, with the same suffering. I just turned 65, am divorced, but still great friends with my ex. Both of my children still live at home with her. But she is getting very stressed and depressed with the ups and downs of that type of home life and I worry constantly for her health and well being. She is not doing that good, and starting to get health issues and I try to help out when and where I can. My daughter has 2 children also, living there. One of the children has very bad behavior problems and is constantly being counseled, she is 13. Life has become very hard for my ex, which in turn stresses me out more just thinking about things that might happen down the road, and how I'll cope if something were to happen. Sometimes it keeps me up at night.

[Tealribbon]

Diamond I am truly sorry you are experiencing so much and all at once. I don't have any magic answers but I understand having more people in heaven than on earth. The level of emotional intensity that is required to care for a terminally ill person and especially a parent is exhausting. One step at a time. Hugs