Anxiety: I am a single mother to... - Anxiety and Depre...

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HakunaMatata93 profile image

I am a single mother to 2 beautiful kiddos. A girl and boy (6 years old & Month old) my boyfriend and I are taking a break (almost 3 years together) after he broke his hand hitting the wall (like surgery and everything) and he is coming up tommorow and picking me and our son up from my work, and he wants to try and work on things, he hasn't be apart of our child's life, he has lived in the house but worked 2nd shift and constantly played video games when he was home, so I did it all, took care of his 3 kids, my 2, and working in top of it while he played his games, or slept, or anything but be apart of the family. Anyway. He is coming up tomorrow to get some things for our son, and all day today, I have been literally feeling like I have been put into a paint shaker, my heart pounding, and super nervous just being around him. He wants to get back together and saying how much he notices how much he has missed, and didn't do, but I don't know if j want this anymore. I seriously an shaking at the thought of having to take care of 5 kids alone plus him. I don't know how to handle this anxiety, or the depressing thoughts that come just thinking about what my life was and could be if he came back...just being around....

6 Replies

You deserve better. But if he is truly remorseful there could be hope. It can’t go back to how it was, he needs to step up. Otherwise, show him the door.

I wonder if your body is giving you the answer? I’ve heard it said that our minds may lie to us, but our body can’t. You don’t have to spend the day with him. Limit it if you need to. Do what is best for you and your kids. I wouldn’t want to take on three more kids plus and adult sized child to boot. That does not sound like a fulfilling relationship to me m

I would take it slow with him but you have to take care of you for your kids because if you are not well and in good shape then you will not be there for your kids I wish you luck and I will say a pray for you and your kids..

I have to agree with the previous replies. Your bf's behaviour is the basis for you feeling worried, anxious and depressed so these feelings are telling you something ie. they are giving you a warning with good reason. I'd take things very slow and put your needs and those of your children first. Don't let him back into your life just because he comes across as remorseful along with promises that he'll change or has changed. This could be manipulation on his part because he had the better end of the deal when he was with you. Take the time to think about your needs, not his. I know it's scary to be on your own, but that is better than an unfulfilling relationship that leaves you anxious and depressed.

Totally agree with the others. Stay in the driver’s seat. First thing you could tell him is no more gaming. Something tells me he wouldn’t want to give that up. He sounded disconnected before, he’ll probably disconnect again once the honeymoon reunion wears off.

Handling 5 kids with no help is a lot of work. God job done for all these years of hard work. How has life been without Him in your life? If you have to rate the two which of the life style will you prefer with may be some adjustment or improvement? Apart from not helping with the children how helpful has he been in your life. Life can be very challenging sometimes, but we have to consider all factors. Companionship and positive father figure in the children’s life. The most important thing is that you take care of yourself first so that you can better take care of them all. There has to be a balance and agreement as parents of the children. I hope and pray you fine peace in all this.

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