The past 48 hrs have been very rough for me. I won't go into the story behind it, but I have been on the verge of panic all day. I had a panic attack last night. I normally take a Klonopin twice a month and I had two yesterday and just took one tonight. If this keeps going, I will end up in the hospital again. I have been there 4 times in 2 years. I DO NOT want to go back. This is not a medication issue anyway. It is situational. I have some tough decisions to make.
My progression into crisis goes like this:
1. Increased anxiety
2. constant anxiety and cry easily, stomach upset and shakiness
3. anxiety attacks
4. Panic attacks
5. Self harm images, cannot be around certain objects ( I have never acted on these thoughts, but they scare me)
6. Suicidal images which increase in frequency and scare me really bad.
Tonight I am on number 4. I reached out to my case manager. My therapist is on vacation until next week. I am doing everything I can to intervene.
Please send me prayers and good thoughts.