Please tell me I am not crazy.

[Mimi1017]

Hi guys,

I have been diagnoised with GAD and panic disorder for about 7 years, and up until 3 weeks ago I was doing great. I have been having uncontrollable anxiety that NEVER relieves, and about 3-4 panic attacks a day. I started to feel this coming on about 3 weeks ago, so went to my dr who bumped my wellbutrin up, but I know it is not working for me. I am only getting worse. Last night I started to have intrusive thoughts. What if I hurt myself? What if I hurt my fiance? Why am i thinking these things? I love my fiance, I do not want to hurt myself. So why is my brain thinking this? I am trying so hard to get a grasp and I feel I cant. I can not get into my psychiatrist until Monday. I am going to look for a new psychologist. I had one years ago but felt I was ok to stop therapy.

THe intrusive thoughts are scaring me. Do I need to check myself in somewhere? Am I going to snap and just go crazy?

[teemo1]

You are not going crazy. It's just anxiety playing tricks on you. Any good psychologist will tell you that the fear of going crazy is, ironically, the sanest fear there is. Please see this article on the subject:

anxietynetwork.com/content/...

I'm guessing that when your panic attacks occur, you are struggling and resisting and trying to make them go away? You need to do the opposite: relax and accept them, allow yourself to feel them. Do nothing to try to fight them. In time, you will have them under control.

And I think that your concern about your fiance and yourself is proof that you are not going to hurt yourself or anyone. Anxiety is sending intrusive thoughts your way and you a are engaging with them and resisting them, which gives them strength. You can learn instead to observe these thoughts, accept them without resisting, and then let them go. You can learn this from a good psychologist and even from a meditation app like Headspace.

And remember, you are not alone. We're all in this together and will get through it together!

[Mimi1017 in reply to teemo1]

This made me cry with relief. Thank you. It's a constant battle of what if this isnt anxiety? and it is something dangerous. But I keep telling myself that the sheer fact that I am afraid of these things is enough to know that I would never be able to do anything like it.

[teemo1 in reply to Mimi1017]

I'm glad you are telling yourself that, because it's the truth! I know, I have been through all of this.

[Agora1]

Mimi1017, have the intrusive thoughts of possibly hurting yourself or someone else

appeared since upping the dose of your Wellbutrin. I would call the doctor who raised

the dose today. Monday can't come soon enough when you are suffering.

Stay safe, keep us updated. You are not going crazy, may just be a medication issue. xx

[Mimi1017 in reply to Agora1]

I called and she left for the day but I gave the secretary my number and said if she is able to reach out to please have her. I have had these thoughts YEARS ago and was able to battle them through self help books, but I also did not have this massive anxiety with them. I have such a fear I am going to snap and do something awful, but keep telling myself if I am so afraid and upset about thinking these things then I am not at harm of myself or others. I know people say "if you think youre going to harm yourself or others call 911", and I keep thinking, should I? Or should I just take these thoughts as just thoughts and work through it until Monday.

[Agora1 in reply to Mimi1017]

Mimi, only you know how close you feel to these thoughts of self harm.

I would agree with the others who tell you to call 911 or at least have someone

take you to the ER. Keep us updated please. I care and want you safe. xx

[Mimi1017 in reply to Agora1]

I know that I do not want to do those things. It's more of the fear of what if. Or why am I thinking this. But I can 100% say I would never ever want to hurt myself or anyone I love. It is a fear of what if I snapped and did.

[Mimi1017 in reply to Mimi1017]

Thinking about ever acting on these things makes me sick to my stomach and panic. Which is why I am thinking I do not need to go to hospital and I just need to try to accept these thoughts as my anxiety

[Agora1 in reply to Mimi1017]

Of course no one can guarantee how you may react to your fears Mimi. Depending

your age, I still feel that this might have possibly come out of the dosage increase.

Not only children but young adults can be affected by the medication itself as well

as increases. The fact that you have an appointment with your psychiatrist on Monday is a plus. Maybe by then the increased dosage will have leveled off and

those intrusive thoughts may go away. If however, you continue feeling uncomfortable in trusting yourself, you always have the option to seek help at the

ER. I believe you said that you left a message for your doctor to give you a

call if she could. You've covered all bases x Take care now. xx

[Mimi1017 in reply to Agora1]

I just want to say thank you. I went to the ER today. I could not take my mind anymore. They evaluated me and stopped my Wellbutrin. Does not even want to ween me off. He said my thoughts and increased anxiety are almost definitely from the Wellbutrin! It’s nice having the reassurance from a psych team to feel I am safe to go home. Thank you again for your help!

[Agora1 in reply to Mimi1017]

You are more than welcome Mimi.

I'm glad it was something as simple as stopping the medication.

Feel better and do well. xx

[Scaredhurt in reply to Agora1]

I agree

[Elfje]

No you not crazy

Anxiety is a really hard thing

the brain is something so programmed that whe feed ourselves with the thoughts

Now if you feel not ok with your meds than go back too you doc or go back too your doses from before

I know welbutrin can give anxiety

If this not work for you

Tell you doc

I have a huge anxiety disorder

But Wellbutrin did nothing for me

The oppesive

So please talk too you doc or specialyst