I don't know

[Midnightwolf1]

I just don't understand. I've tried so hard to achieve the happiness everyone would expect me to have but I just can't find any of it... I just keep drowning. I thought I've already hit rock bottom but I keep falling further down. I have the things I need to be happy but I can't find it.. I have a family that I think loves me. I have friends who love me. I even have a boyfriend who loves me for me. But none of them seems to see I'm struggling and falling so far down. I feel like crying all the time for no reason and I just want to punch someone in the face for no reason. I'm trying to keep it together but I feel like everything is falling apart... I'm just lost I think.... I just don't know what to do.

If you read this I'm sorry for ranting and probably pitying myself and probably wasting your time...

~Sky

[tamka38]

Hi I been crying daily some days I know way other days I don’t have a clue I have people around me but they don’t know how bad am hurting in the inside and I don’t want to be a burden to them I understand what u going through and am here if u want to talk

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to tamka38]

Thank you. I feel the same way with not wanting to burden people with my problems. And I'm here if u ever want to talk too.

~Sky

[Mommyblues]

All of this resonates so much with me.

I see myself as a “functional” individual with severe mental health struggles. From the outside you would expect me to be happy... but I never can find and keep that sense of happiness and security.

[seekingSunshine]

Maybe your expectations upon yourself are unreasonable.

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to seekingSunshine]

I don't even know what the expectations are set at so you could be right

~Sky

[Humankind-BE_BOTH]

could you talk to your parents about possibly going for counseling or therapy or is there a trusted adult at school that you feel you can talk to with no judgements?

Perhaps you and the therapist could explore pharmacological options to treat depression or anxiety

do you exercise regularly? exercise is a great way to get rid of depression along with nutrition and sleeping (which I know is difficult for a teenager)

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Humankind-BE_BOTH]

I honestly don't trust my parents and if I do therapy I'm afraid it will ruin my military career. I tried to talk to only trusted close friends and an adult at school but they don't ever seem to understand which I know no one but yourself can 100% understand. I do a lot of walking, I'm trying to get into a martial art class to get more active. I have a really bad sleeping problem and I've been trying to get healthy...