I don't know what to do

[Lookingforhope20100]

it's been a stressful few days. I'm finding it harder to get out of bed every day, I let my sobriety slip I don't think I've gone a day sober and I hate myself I have bipolar disorder, and I kind of just want to freak out and go off the rails and do something crazy just explode but I know I can't. I know I have to remain in control I'm trying all the things I can to just keep calm but lately, I don't want to start my day even playing with my daughter is getting harder I don't know what to do but I can't keep this up I can't keep feeling this way I want to cry and scream and break things and I know i need to get over to my mental health doctor but he is in the next city over and it's hard to get over there and with one car my grandma wont let me borrow hers for anything other then work with gas being so high I can't talk to her about how I'm feeling because she wont be supportive she will judge me and yell at me and blame me for having a mental illness she wont understand and she wont help me and that's all I want is help and support and work is just stressful dealing with kids and pretending in okay when I just want to curl under my blankets and sleep until I feel okay again.

[Marysblue]

you can quit drinking again. and be proud of that again. You deserve it. Drinking causes more stress and depression.

Do you go to AA?

[Lookingforhope20100 in reply to Marysblue]

Yeah I got to daily AA meetings

[Sueislove]

Sounds like you should make a doctors appt and find a way to get there ! I’m sorry you are going through such a hard time been there and there in different ways but overall depression sucks😝love yourself enough to get some help and maybe also go talk to a counselor I know if doesn’t fix everything but it’s a good place to feel listen to and supported in a non judgmental way . Feel better soon !

[Roxylox]

Total sympathy here. Have you tried journalling? Singing aloud when you can. Speak your feelings into a voice recorder on your phone pethaps

[Lookingforhope20100 in reply to Roxylox]

I try to journal but I can never keep up with doing it even have a reminder on my phone to journal every night I even started going back to church

[Roxylox in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

I get my local mass online since Covid. Could you perhaps get af doctor on a phone or video call?

[ImExhausted]

Hey there, everything feels like a catch 22 right? Like theres options out there but they're out of reach. I have no one to talk to either if you ever want to talk you can reach out. I dont know if your state does this or if you have state insurance but in my state if you have their medical insurance they have a numer you can call on the back of the insurance card that provides you with a cab service to get to and from any medical appointment including mental health appointments. Ask your insurance company if they offer this service.

[Mrspjsmom]

Can someone give you a ride to the doctor's office or can you call or do a virtual visit? Please remember you are stronger than you realize. You can and will get through this. We are here to support you and always will be. HUGS ❤