I extremely miss my slightly manipulative ex boyfriend

[Lulu02]

5 days ago was the last time I ever spoke to him. I told him that if he didn’t want help with the issues he was having with depressive thoughts and taking illegal drugs that I could no longer talk to him (as friends we had been broken up for about 2 months now) for my own wellbeing. The number of days looks like a short time but it feels like an eternity. Every ring or texts I immediately perk up to see if it’s him and I hate this feeling of needing someone so badly in my life, I feel like a choking without him. I’ve increasingly been becoming more and more depressed over these few days, I really wish I never met him or ever knew his existence. The lessons I’ve learnt are not worth the pain.

This is my first post, sorry about and grammar errors, I’m not bothered to edit.

[Hidden]

First off welcome to site. You know we all mourn over loss on our own time. Please don't be so hard on yourself, in fact do the opposite... be kind & gentle to yourself...give yourself a treat today, sounds like you deserve it. I'm here for you if you need. I'm wishing you all the best. Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs for you!

[Lulu02 in reply to Hidden]

Thing is I don’t know if it was right that I stopped talking to him. All I ever want to do is see him and talk about my day with him.

[Hidden in reply to Lulu02]

Oh I think you made the right choice, letting go is difficult, hard to accept yet you can do this. Fight the good fight for you! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Wifesupport]

You’ve made a very good decision. When people show you who they are- believe them. Be your own best friend and look after you. You would go through more pain to stay with someone who doesn’t take initiative to look after themself. Look forward in your own life- you’ll get over him and will be glad in the future that you didn’t take this on.

[NeuroticSanity]

Hi. I am sorry you are hurting and struggling right now. Hopefully you are already feeling some of the benefit of this group of empathetic and supportive souls.

If you haven't done so already, ask yourself if you truly miss THIS guy, or if you are mostly missing close companionship.

I married my second husband despite the many red flags I saw in him because I felt that he was still better than the depression of not having a partner. I left him after 2.5 years because he caused tremendous worsening of my depression and anxiety (as well as my finanancial security). That was a year ago and, though I am very lonely, I am positive that leaving him was the right choice. My regret was that I chose to overlook the obvious red flags in the first place and didn't break it off when we were dating.

This is your chance to be free. TAKE IT AND RUN!

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. " - Groucho Marx