My Boyfriend

[Mikeyann21]

Fairly recently my boyfriend and I kinda got into a fight when he was depressed. He told me that he woke up from a bad dream and just wanted to talk to me, but it was late at night, and my mom is really strict. He then went off on me. Until this point he has been nothing but the most caring sweetheart, and everything that I could’ve hoped for and more. I knew that we would have fights and everything eventually, but I felt like by what he was saying he wanted to break up with me. He does feel sorry, and I’ve told him how it made me feel, so we’re okay. But I just don’t feel ok. I just want to know how to help him, or how I can get him to, (for lack of a better term) help himself.

[gerg]

Open communication is the most effective way to resolve a problem. Use “I” statements, like; I am concerned about our relationship. Take full responsibility for your actions, and don’t blame others. You may say; I am sorry that I ignored your troubles the other night, I want to be there for you no matter how tired I am.

Coming clean for your actions is the base of emotional maturity. It is great for your relationship, and it will help prevent similar reactions in the future. Addressing your part in the interaction may make your BF look at how he handled the situation.

[Mikeyann21 in reply to gerg]

Idk I just got scared-like I thought he was going to break up with me and it’s hard to move on from that. I’m having a hard time not being fearful and going back to “tiptoeing”

[Hidden]

Tiptoeing? Oh my! I did that my whole life with my Mother and it just isn’t reality-based, you know? I don’t see the point if you’re tiptoeing through the tulips, my dear! You’re guy has to want to help himself. There really isn’t much you can do about his mental state. That’s up to him and him alone! You can always make suggestions. Be an example yourself. Let him see how you work at staying positive, understanding, loving and in the moment! I’m not sure about him, but you’re going to be just fine! 🌷🙂🌷

[Dananxiety in reply to Hidden]

Gratitude, I know about the tiptoeing around the mother. I did that my whole childhood to avoid getting a beating.

Mikeyann, it's not good to have to tiptoe in any relationship. Love should be playful and fun

[Hidden in reply to Dananxiety]

Yes, I had to tiptoe and walk on eggshells around my Mother so she wouldn’t go into a funk. I knew when they were coming too. I was close to 30 before I truly realized that my childhood was screwed up and that others didn’t go through the same thing! My Father did the beating and she never stopped him. Oh well, it’s in the past! That’s where I’m now going to leave that mess!