This isn’t a cry for help or anything. I’ll bounce back some later... I know that from personal experience. I just felt like it would help if I vented some...
I’ve basically been in bed for the last 19 hours. I got into it with my ex yet again about having her damned boyfriend near the kids because they haven’t been together very long.
She had her graduation from nursing school last night. She’s bothered me about it for months if I was going and except for when we first separated I’ve been supportive and told her I’d go if I could with work and I would help with the kids and all of that. Two days ago she comes to me all friendly and tells me to stay home. I knew she was lying because she’s never that nice unless she wants something. Come to find out her mother somehow agreed that her boyfriend could sit with them.
Now that is all the information she gave me and I was pissed. There is no reason for that, it breaks my one condition and seems just f—-ing stupid to even do. What’s the point honestly?
So after fighting and being made to be a gigantic asshole over it again and again it finally comes out that supposedly he’s going to be with a group of her friends’ families and they’re going to dinner later but they won’t be near each other and all of this other shit I don’t believe because if she isn’t an outright compulsive liar then she’s one of those people where is a, b, c, d and e are the truth you’ll be lucky to get a and b out of her.
I’m so sick of fighting. I’m so sick of waiting and struggling to make things change and feeling like they never will. I’m sick of being alone. I’m sick of being the bad guy. I’m sick of being alive and in pain.
I’m not looking to kill myself but I just want it all to end...