idk what to do anymore--anxiety and depression

[quesokitten21]

I'm new here, but have been dealing with anxiety for a long time. I'm always worrying about money, school, friends, etc. and have issues with self-esteem and self-image, but it's gotten to the point where I feel like I can't do anything anymore. I feel alone all the time, whether I'm actually alone or with friends. Sometimes I worry myself to the point where I feel like my friends don't actually care about me and isolate myself even further. My SO keeps trying to be there for me and support me, but I can't help but try to push them away and isolate myself further, even though I feel like being with them is the one thing that makes me happy. I also keep picking fights as soon as I get down, and it always ends with us arguing, when it's not what I actually want. I'm not really sure why I do this. lately it's like I don't really care about much and sometimes I spiral so far down that my arms and legs get heavy and I feel numb and will just lie in bed and not move, so I can't get a lot done. Not sure what to do anymore.

[Hidden]

Please listen before you end up where I am. I was with a beautiful young lady for several years and I pushed her away. Never really understanding why. I think now part of me didn't want to drag her down. And part of me wanted her to stay no matter how I acted...maybe to prove I had some self-worth.

I fought with her over the smallest things.

So in December of last year she moved on.

I miss her every second of every day.

Believe me when I say, you never truly want to be alone.

I am trying to work on my issues now.

I wish I had started before she was gone.

[Rebuilding82]

Avoidance is what we go to first. I have done it. I was on several medications for anxiety depression and bi polar. I lost my health insurance in June so I haven't had meds and had to totally regroup. I used to be the one to pick the fights when I'm down. Now I feel better each day I take it a day at a time. Start doing things out of your routine mix it up. You will get stronger each day

[Mistykitten]

You Have to rejoin life. Get out of bed, get dressed and keep yourself busy. I get up every morning and try to do the same. It's hard, but you have to gain some self esteem, and start to care about yourself... (I have been there) . I am sitting here in tears, I do this ever morning, my daughters won't speak to me. It's been like a death to me. but I have to go on. I'm here if you need me, I try to check in at least once a day. Warmest regards Mistykitten

[MsJazzy]

I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this. Worry and anxiety can impact relationships greatly. It seems like you are in a vicious cycle of really needing people in your life and wanting people to care for you and pushing them away. It's hard to stop a cycle on your own. Here is an article that might be helpful to you: focusonthefamily.com/.../ma.... I pray that it will be received with an open heart.