Help please. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Midnightwolf1]

I'm sorry I haven't been on here in forever. I try not to get on any social media anymore. But I really need help and I have no one I can really go to anymore. I feel like everyone is just leaving me, like always. I had friends, had family I could count on, had a future I thought I could do but I can't and my friends have pretty much left me and so has my family. I feel like I have messed up everything. I don't know what to do. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and I'm still with my boyfriend (babys dad). This is my longest relationship I ever had and I feel like that's even falling apart. I'm only 19 and in the National Guard with no job now and I'm losing hope on everything. My mental state is even getting to the point where I don't want my kid anymore. I can't raise it with the way I am. I'm not fit to be a mother of something so innocent and pure. I can't do it, my baby would be better off without me, so would everyone else. I'm almost one year clean of self-harm (by razor or cutting my skin anyways) but I about to say forgot it and go for it again because it's the only thing I ever think about anymore. I still hurt myself by scratching or digging into my skin or taking a hot shower and pretty much trying to burn myself. But I'm trying for my baby to be better now but I'm slowly losing hope when everyone is just leaving me or treating different.... Treating me like I can't do it, like I can't take care of my baby and maybe they are right. Maybe I should of been abandoned a long time ago from everyone. I don't know anymore. I'm lost and I don't know what to do anymore. I really do need help, please.

~Sky

[ElephantsHear]

Hi, my sweet girl please consider going to the emergency room and letting them know your mental state- show them what you wrote/ tell them how you feel. You have thoughts of self harm and mentioned family/ baby being better off (not true). You’re in a vulnerable state and you need support from mental health providers and a social worker should should be able to find programs to support you (some are live programs with ladies in your situation offering support to each other). Please feel free to PM me and let me know what you action you took. I’m asking you to please get immediate attention. You deserve it and so does the baby. I’m very concerned for you. I’m praying for you!!!

[ElephantsHear in reply to ElephantsHear]

If you saw the first post before it was removed by the administrator it was wrong and grossly inappropriate. I guess he was concerned about your privacy, but you did not identify yourself and your first step is always to be safe. Bless you/ praying for you! Hope you seek immediate help.

[Hidden]

Well your situation is complex first thing I would do is make an appointment with a therapist, try to relax with some deep breathing and grounding. Your not a bad person you will get through this. Hopefully your Mom and Dad could help. If things get really bad call a crisis hotline but cutting yourself is not going to help anyone.

[LittleDucky]

I work in the mental health field and I can tell you that if you contact social services and let them know that you’re pregnant and struggling with your mental health, you will have a response very quickly. What these people can do for you is help you with planning for your future and making decisions, and making mental health referrals. There is a A common misconception that social workers want to take families apart but actually their goal is to keep families together. So if what you want is to keep your baby and feel good and feel confident in your ability to raise your baby safely you will find that social services will probably be helpful in suggesting and providing some resources for that. Occasionally social workers are not as helpful and end up being more judge mental but this is very rare and not a reason to not contact them. I suggest social services because they are the quickest to respond to these types of situations.

Having said that it sounds like you have worked really hard to strengthen your mental health and your self love. I think that that is an amazing and beautiful accomplishment. I struggle with my mental health and self-love all the time and if I became pregnant I would also doubt my ability to be a good parent. So what you’re experiencing is very normal and I think it’s healthy because it shows that you care about your babies health and well-being. You may feel like you’re bad for having these thoughts but I think it shows goodness that you’re worried and concerned about some of the thoughts you’re having. If you were to have a relapse in your self harm recovery please know, and I’m saying this as an addiction counselor, relapse is a normal part of recovery. If you slip and hurt yourself once, it doesn’t mean you have to hurt yourself again. You can pick yourself back up and move forward again just as you have been for a long time. I can hear how much pain you’re in and I can hear how much work you’ve done to learn how to handle the pain. I think that all pregnant women are terrified and when we bring mental illness into the picture that makes it even scarier personally I admire you for being strong and loving to your baby in a time when you are experiencing intense distress and facing a lot of challenges. Not everybody has the kind of strength that you are showing here. I’m proud of you and I hope that you find a way to be proud of yourself too, no matter what decision you make.

[Hidden]

How are you sweety

Sorry you are going thru this. You are young, you need support. Everyone has done mistakes in their lives but you are loved and special. Regarding ur baby that is soon to be born, I blv there are places where u can go seek professionals. Even if you do give him up for adoption, that is not bad at all and it does not mean that you are a bad mother. In fact the mere fact that you are saying this means you are a good person and wants what best for your baby. I hope you can stop harming yourself. Depression and enxiety is a bad demon that we all have to deal with. Make sure baby girl u stick with ur medication, it is ur saving grace. We got ur back here baby girl