Major Stress

[JenGo]

So my wife of almost 10 years left me to be with someone else a year ago. My mother who moved in with us 3 years ago is very sick with lung cancer. My wife has been alienating me from our 7 year old child. I have petitioned for joint custody and have been to a mediator for agreement. My wife decided that she wants full custody and now we have a court date in a couple of weeks. I’m worried that she will use my depression against me to obtain full custody. I love my child more than anything and I’m so sad that we are going through all of this. I really feel isolated and totally overwhelmed. I have no $ for an attorney. I just don’t know what to do.

[Eowyn7]

You should get an attorney anyway. Get a loan if you have to - payday loan, anything. If you really want to get partial custody you have to do this right the first time. You don't want years to go by and not have proper visitation to see your child because you didn't have an attorney and she did. Especially as the dad you have to be more careful since courts usually go with what the mom wants.

[AZ1970]

Depression is not a reason to keep you from your child. A reasonable judge would not be concerned unless you are a risk to yourself. I am sorry you are going through this.

[Hidden]

Stay strong! As Eowyn mentioned, try as hard as you can to get an attorney. Best of luck at court!

[Hidden]

I’m sorry you’ve been put in that situation. all you can do is your best and if you really want to be able to be with your kid, you have to fight for it; even if you don’t have alot of money, utilizing what you have will show a judge you care.

here’s some suggestions if you like-

-take a loan or borrow from family/friends to pay an attorney

-get testimonials from friends and family who’ve seen you with your kid

-proof of a steady income, car, clean record and insurance can show a judge you have means to provide

- if your sanity or mental stability is questioned, you can see a doctor and have them make a note saying you’re sane and a competent adult

-show up for every court meeting and hearing

-always remain mature and calm, especially with your kid

-if you get an attorney, don’t be afraid to ask them questions and get they’re legal advice

-the judge is human so try to appeal to their sympathy and empathy

-don’t make any large irrational purchases like a vacation or shopping spree

-don’t make statements you can’t backup

[JenGo]

Thank you all for your advice. I am not a father btw i am a mother in a same sex marriage and my child is certainly my everything. I am following my heart on this issue and i intend to do whatever I’ve got to do to make it. I’ve been having a lot of self doubt and I’ve been isolating myself from my friends. I’m worried about everything. I will try to be strong or at least pretend that I am.... maybe no one will notice the difference. Thank you all so much

[TaraRae]

Ok, I had my Son basically ripped away from me 29 years ago. The cold hard truth is this, talk to the Judge and ask for time to get a legal professional. DO NOT GO IN THERE WITHOUT ONE!! If she has $, or an attorney that is friends with certain Judges you need help. If this is in the States DO NOT GO IN THERE ALONE! My 1st time EVER in a court room/legal system and it took is 2 years to get divorced and my Son taken away. I was naive, young and too trusting. NO depression is not a reason to take your child away but some people stoop very low and play dirty. From now on, you ACT as if you're not depressed, you pretend like everything is going well will be in your favor. Make it your mission to fight for child every day. If she sees you not "acting" as if everything is good, being positive she will use it against you. Please don't get depressed, just be proactive!!! NOW!

Good luck