Severe depression

[blue1764]

Anyone else feel like your life is pointless and has no meaning. Everything in my life seems to be a disaster and sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I seem to ruin everything and can never find any inner peace with myself. I happen to have really bad issues with my dad we don’t really have much of a relationship anymore which makes me very sad. He’s a drug addict and I choose to keep my distance. I just feel like a mess up and I didn’t deserve to be born.

[Strongheartforever]

Are you in your teens or early twenties? That’s a time of painful transitions and growth so please have faith and follow your heart and your gut toward your dreams. What sparks interest deep down? What moves you and gets you excited to get involved? Start with the most simple thing. Spend more time doing that and growing that passion. Start a little business. Or take a class. I’ve finally figured out my little house needs a makeover and the creative juices have gotten me out of a slump. I painted the walls, put up a bit of wallpaper and little shelves. Every day it’s a reminder that you CAN improve your state of mind and your surroundings with CREATIVITY. That’s the advice I’m giving because it has always saved me. Bring in the sparkle and then the sparkle will get inside you. You gotta find your passion and grow it and serve the world with your gifts. This is the way out of misery and into joy. It’s a give and take with humanity.

[blue1764 in reply to Strongheartforever]

Thank you and I’m in my teens I’m 17

[Strongheartforever in reply to blue1764]

17. I remember it well! You’re perched on the edge of the nest and you will soar and you will hit a gust of wind and maybe have a few hard landings but you’ll be learning lessons that will shape your future and ready you for each new adventure. These next years are tough, as are the ones before me now. It’s all worth it. Don’t give in to the bad thoughts. It’s not you, it’s not your fault, it’s what the human mind does, tortures you to keep you “safe” and stuck in one place when freedom actually comes in taking action, moving forward, taking risks, taking responsibility for yourself, avoiding victimhood, embracing self sufficiency and being a good person, a good friend, having self respect, all those things you’re about to learn. The frontal lobe of the brain which rules judgement, what’s good, what’s bad, doesn’t fully develop til age 25. A lot of mistakes are made until then. Flee the nest soon and fly free. Are you graduating next year? Your whole life will open up... there’s depression that comes from not having control, that may be where you are now. You still have the freedom to choose better, more empowering thoughts. I found that to be the way to conquer it. Taking the power back from the dumb bad same old sad thoughts and getting busy with what I love and what I’m good at and getting around good role models who can teach you what grace is. Grace is believing that you matter, have purpose and the knowledge that others around you do too. One thing I didn’t know at your age is that EVERY challenge and problem you face and get through prepares you for the next and strengthens you and all the pain becomes compassion for others’ pain and brings you closer to other people. It’s not wasted. It’s teaching you and pushing you toward change. Hope this helps. Know you’re never alone in this life and all you need to do is reach out to one good person and you’ll find a home.

[blue1764 in reply to Strongheartforever]

Thank u so much for taking the time to respond means a lot thank u

[Hidden]

Seventeen is hard. Your time is still so dictated by others with school and chores or work. Strongheartforever is right about it still being a time to make mistakes. Don't go looking for them, but when they happen, be kind to yourself. And don't let anyone tell you that your problems are small. Problems at seventeen are always super big because are bodies and minds don't even get themselves yet. You are working through who you are, so everything feels like it affects you to your core. I'm sorry your dad isn't in a place to be good at showing love for you. That is really hard, too.

If you are wanting to live in a hole most of the time, maybe "raise your hand" for help. That is an indication that your mind has taken you to a dark place and that your mind can't even tell you truth anymore. With depression our thoughts become so distorted - a tiny element of truth twisted around so it is unrecognizable anymore.