31y/o, life is a wreck trying to stop smoking MJ but live with a parent that drags me back to smoking by giving mj to me (i didnt ask 4 it)

[Btsrslyffft]

So my dad is verbally abusive to me and some of it I see that I could deserve but there are LOTS of times where the situation is just him being verbally abusive. He is a miserable man and takes it out on me. I am miserable but never personally attack anyone Im just more of a bummer and annoying. This morning was one of those times where he is just plan as day, one sided being verbally abusive (ex: him telling me that not everybody says everything that comes into their head, implying that I do. He said this to me first thing in the morning when he came to get coffee and since I was already in the kitchen I filled him in on g-ma (who lives with us) and mom just leaving to go to med check b/c her doc is on vacay and she is in srs pain. I guess I gave too many details in telling him and he wanted to interject and I didnt let him. Anyway after he verbally abused me for no reason we argued for a sec (cause Im not a doormat) and after I just laid down because I stopped smoking MJ earlier this week and its hard just to get though the day with abuse on top of it. My dad smokes MJ daily and he knows I have been clean a few days this week and what Im trying to do....BUT dis MF POS walks in and Gives me MJ (i didnt ask for it or say anything about MJ) and in my post abuse state with symptoms of withdrawl I took and smoked it. I feel good cause Im currently high but bad because Ive failed at working towards my goal. Its wrong that im verbally abused and its wrong that he would sabotage my sobriety by contributing to my moment of weakness and then basically handing me a loaded gun. Ahhhhh! I just gotta learn how to live here long enough to get myself out. Thanks for reading this rant.

[Btsrslyffft]

(I know its lame to reply to your own post but honestly, I think the saving face ship has sailed)

Im not going to play the victim of this situation tho....Im letting feeling towards him of anger marinate for a sec in hopes I can learn to de-value him to the point that no matter what hurtful things he says Im unaffected because there is zero respect given to his opinion. (that said, its hard to be mad and high @ same time plus its difficult not be affected by what a PARENT says. -even if you do see them for the POS they are)

[Btsrslyffft in reply to Btsrslyffft]

Goals= SIA's "Titanium" song 😎

[Robinrenae in reply to Btsrslyffft]

No shame, and it's not lame. 🙃 But seriously, have you explained to your dad that you really want to quit smoking? Maybe tell me it would help you a lot if he would support you in this and it's something that's important to you. I know it hurts when your parent (s) are verbally abusive and I'm sorry that happens to you. If talking to your father and telling him how you feel about things doesn't or hasn't worked then it's time except that is just the kind of person he is, but remember that it doesn't reflect on you as a person. You are only responsible for what you say and do. We can't change other people but we can change how we react to them.

If you'd like to chat, I'm here for you.

Love and light to you ❤🌹

[Shadow123-]

Hi there. Seriously ? Your own Dad trying to sabotage yr life ? Thats bad.

I had a very bad prob with addiction and mj was def my gateway drug. Lasted years. I'm 52 now and been clean last 12 years.

I tried so hard so often to come off but there was always some1 to divert me and I would relapse.

Long story short, I realised all addicts need a co-depending person with them and bonds can become very strong.

I know this is your dad but he is co-depending on u when he should be congratulating you.

I suppose it's silly to ask if u can move or stay with friends/ family ?

I wish you well my friend and will be thinking of u. The key is, don't give up trying to give up....

Shadow

[Hidden]

Hi! Your dad sound like a first class a-hole , no offense. Please remember that next time he verbally attacks you.

As for the weed situation- it is only mentally, not physically addictive.

After about a week of discomfort (assuming you were a daily smoker), you’ll be fine. If you feel that your dad forces it on you, take it an throw it out the window. If you don’t want to smoke weed, don’t, if you do , do.

May I ask what you do for a living and why you don’t get your own place?

[Btsrslyffft in reply to Hidden]

Im unemployed but ready to start applying again.

[Hidden in reply to Btsrslyffft]

Fabulous! I lost the job prior to the one I have due to a voluntarily hospitalization. I found a job that I reall like after! Been here 4 1/2 years now. Get back to work and get your own place🙂🙂🙂

[Hidden]

Your family is toxic. Please leave and never look back. I’m sorry this is the situation but they are holding you back from life. Join the military?

[trapis2]

A hard situation you find yourself in and I appalud you for working on getting off the MJ !!! Oh and know that you NEVER are at fault if someone abuses you,verbally or physically. They are the one with the problem.

[Lazy_dog_lover]

I don't know about MJ, but no verbal abuse is deserved. Walk away. Don't engage. Be strong. Your sobriety is more important.