Need help

[cy0000]

Hi I’m new here.

I’ve been diagnosed with depression for 16 years. I am American but live in Japan currently but there’s no support groups or therapists which I wish for treatment. Counceling doesn’t work for me and it’s costly over here. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and very depressed this past 3 months especially. Finally my doctor changed my medication one week ago but I came to the point where I couldn’t get up to take a bath or do needs to get things done so I went to my doctor again for help but all she said was I have to wait another week or more to see my progress and symptoms to give me a raise in dosage. I had to resign my work I loved because no one can count on my attendance. I can not support my self and have been leeching off my parents to survive. I feel ashamed and have low image of myself and I just want the voices and pain to go away. Ive been reaching out to family and friends but I understand there’s limit to how much they can offer and it’s up to me to move forward, I do not have the energy and motivation or image of what I’ll be doing an hour later. I literally can not get up from bed and can do the very minimum necessities like going to the toilet and feed myself.

I’ve been going back and forth with my progress but I can no longer take it anymore. What is the use of living if I’m just getting worse. I am sorry I know I sound pessimistic, I just hope there’s someone out there that can relate or have some solution for my situation.

[chonchob]

Move back to your parents, you need help

[cy0000 in reply to chonchob]

Thank you chonchob for your message.

I am living with my parents right now.

[Calm_mama]

cy0000,

A primary care doctor (internist, general practitioner) has given you a recent work up, correct?

[cy0000 in reply to Calm_mama]

Thank you for your message Calm_mama.

Yes she has.

[Calm_mama in reply to cy0000]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. The suicide hotline number here in the US is: 800-273-8255. Please don't hesitate to call that number. And there are so many wonderful people on this forum! Do come here and talk/vent/lean.

This is good that you had your meds changed, and yes it takes time for them to work- hang in there.

So your labs are ok, including thyroid, complete blood count, and chemistries?

I hear you- you have not had improvement with therapy. And it's expensive. But I'm going to ask these questions anyway: What therapy did you receive and was it in Japan or back in the States or both? Were you working with someone who was proficient in cognitive behavioral therapy? If it was in Japan were you interacting with someone who spoke English (or maybe you are fluent in Japanese?)

I'm asking all these questions because the *right therapy with the right therapist (and in the right language of course) can be so immensely helpful for what you are experiencing. And from what you describe (you are having trouble with very basic daily functioning), it would likely be recommended that you do intensive therapy- the equivalent of a partial hospitalization program (PHP) or intensive outpatient program (IOP) here in the US. Meaning 4 to 8 hours of therapy a day for ~6-12 weeks. Then maintenance therapy. This is not to say you can't start feeling better with less therapy- you can. But at least some therapy is going to be needed here I think.

That may not be what you want to hear, but I want to stress that therapy can be very effective if it's the right therapy, and of course, you put the work in. Which must sound impossible to you right now. So it's baby steps at first...

Please know that this can get better. Remain full of hope.

[Lt-Cookie]

Hello,

Sorry just got confused there for a bit. Are you in Japan or are you living with your Parents in the States?

I can relate to your situation but i have had these episodes for quite sometime so i have learned to manage them slightly.

What i recommend is simplifying your life as soon as possible. What i mean is, and i do not know if that is even possible for you where you are, is try to get a job that is neither complex or stressful. Create less clog and clutter in your space especially where you reside. Try to eat healthy with least amount of effort required and reserve any energy you have to exercising.

As for current counselling, there is increasing amounts of online therapists that can assist in your case. They can do sessions on Skype. Just make sure you research well who the therapist is and they are genuinely qualified. If you are still in Japan, Australia would be a good option for you in terms of online therapists.

I do hope this helps and if i could provide you with any further assistance please do not let me know.

Best wishes.

[cy0000]

Thank you for your message Lt-cookie.

Both my parents and I live in Japan and I love with them. Sorry for the confusion.

I don’t think I can try working right now, but I’m in a better state of mind now and I’m hoping I’ll be back working next month.

I had no idea that there was such thing as online counceling! I’ll definitely check Australian counceling.

Thank you so much.

[cy0000]

Thank you for your reply Calm_mama.

Sorry I couldn’t reply as fast as I can, I want well.

I have been feeling a little bit better lately, maybe my meds are kicking in?

Yes, the labs are okay. I get my blood tests every couple months.

I’ve only tried counceling in the states and in Japan. I’m pretty sure they all were. But I was still in my teens the so possibly I wasn’t able to make a judgement. And spoke to my counselor in Japanese because I am fluent in Japanese.

I am going to consider IOP for my options.

This is definitely what I wanted to hear, thank you so much again!