Sometimes I think that many people in this group are getting sick of hearing about me. I complain to much. Every morning I wake with such intense anxiety. My life feels stuck, and I’m afraid, due to my anxiety and depression I won’t be able to cope and end up hospitalized and eventually homeless. And my medical insurance is not good. You see I have absolutely no support, no friends or family to rely on. It’s a long story but I’m 53, never been married and have no children, this is something I dwell on everyday. How my life got to this point is my own fault. Even my phychiatrist of 15 years seems to be tired of me. I’ve let so much time go by and I have done nothing to help myself. My family doesn’t talk about anxiety and depression and think you just need to get over it. I’ve lost so many loved ones through the years.
I’m scared and would really like to hear from others who find themselves in a similar place. And most importantly how do you go on? I’m tired of my life, my job, loneliness and social isolation, at times I wish I had the courage to end my life. I know I’ve said these things before that’s why I’m afraid that everyone in here is tired of hearing from me.
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Shutterbug65
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You are a gift from God. Whole and perfect as you were created. Keep looking forward. This is your journey. You are right where you are suppose to be, head up. Keep on keeping on. I'm sure you have a lot to offer in life. I'm fighting my own demons, but if I can inspire one person today, than It helps me as well. We are strong and suicide is not an option!!! NOT AN OPTION. Keep reaching out and I'm trying to replace any negative thoughts with a positive .. just for today! 💗it gets better but we have to work on this. I can't but WE CAN.
Thank you. I can’t do this alone. I’m not sure this is where I’m supposed to be. Alone, scared and depressed. I want to be a positive person today. Someone that people would like to be around. I hope your right and it does get better.
Have a wonderful Friday.
First off I'm sure not tired of hearing from you. I care about you very much & you know I'll help you anyway I can! Please try to focus on something that makes you happy, give it a try...maybe it's something like ice cream, the beach or woods. I wish for you peace of mind. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!
hi Hidden i'm just curious if you're in CO? i just moved here 2 months ago and have only seen those flowers here- i took a bunch of pictures of that pink flower, in my neighborhood, that you have as your profile pic. they're so pretty
You my friend are very welcome! love, peace, joy, light & hugs!!!
Hi Shuttebug65! You are the former me! What I mean is that I use to be a complaining individual too. I still have some work to do. Guess what? Take it one day at a time and start thinking about some positive things to say instead of what you really want to say. For example,
You: "Why is it so cold outside today? I hate the cold."
Positive You: " It's cold outside today so I am going to put on my new cute coat and boot cut jeans I just bought last week. Yey, for me!"
Then get a positive upbeat song on to play while you put on your cute outfit and don't forget to do a little dance while you get dressed. So much fun! It helps to try to create a positive reaction to what you really want to say (the negative thought). Practice this technique all day and everyday. It helps create a new mind set. You eventually will start speaking positive more often. Don't beat yourself up either if you forget to give positive reactions. Just try it again! You got this! HUGS and cute outfits for the Fall! Inspiring song for you:
Thank you. I’ve been so negative for so long now, it’s hard to change that mindset. I always believe the worst is going to happen. I’m scared of being alone. And I don’t think I can do this by myself. Positive thoughts and feelings is something I lack in my day to day existence. So much time has gone bye.
Thank you for the video.
Take care, have a wonderful Friday.
. I can relate to the family just ignoring your illness and not accepting it and that it is nothing and just sweeping it under the rug. Acting as everything is “ normal” btw, I despise that word and refuse to use it in my vocabulary do not believe it exist in anyone. I can’t say I’ve gone through want you’ve gone through. However , I can say you are not alone. Have you heard of writing a future gratitude list. Where you write down 3 things you are grateful you don’t have. The goal is to make it an attainable thing you are grateful you don’t have. But in your reach to accomplish. Example. I am grateful I don’t have one true friend I can count one I.e this is something that is attainable. And that I can attain for in the future. Also every nite say Thank you (if your spiritual one might say Thank you God) Regardless, if not that’s okay do it to.. Fond some one to thank.. or thank yourself for something , at least one thing meaning for the day. Maybe start keeping a journal of your Thank yous’ every nite to see progress in you ., hope that helps
I am thankful for my aunt. She’s battling her own problems. A year ago she ended up in detox at Carrier Clinic here in NJ. She became addicted to Percocet and ended up heavily in dept. Lost everything including her apartment, she wasn’t paying her rent or any of her bills. Ended up with a $ 40,000 credit card dept. She thought this woman who supplied her with the drugs was her friend, and she acted like it. My aunt is 78.
So now she lives in a boarding house in Lakewood, the place is awful. They use your social security check as room and board. I’m the only one who visits her. I take her out of there for the day, take her to the mall and out for dinner, wherever.
I’m sorry this is a very long story, I’m leaving a lot out.
She along with my grandparents helped raise me and was a big part of my childhood. It really saddens me that no one in my family will visit. I’m all she has now.
I don’t know your whole situation There is always hope and faith. . There are many of us struggling to make it one more minute,hour, dayI’m sorry if I wasn’t much help to you.. . I have found that you have to practice gratitude to be truly grateful. I personally have had and at times continue struggle and suffer a Horrific life. I know I’m not alone or the only one. and I am a volunteer and I go visit Hospice people whom can no longer care for themselves at assisted living homes. Who have 2weeks to 6 months to live. And I love it. I can’t always go it though. These people have dementia to you name it illness Ages from 24-99 years. And hardly have any family members come visit them. So when I volunteer I appreciate my life. I have Gratitude. In turn it puts my life in perspective. So the days when I can go. So it makes me more positive and feel good that I’m visiting someone who is alone and who’s mind comes and goes.How can I say my life is worse than theirs? They don’t even know there name? And they are discarded like trash and forgotten because they no longer can communicate like ourselves... I have learned most importantly serving others makes me more positive and feel better.... A mindful practice tech 1. How do you feel? 2. What do you need? 3. What can you do about it?
To lose ones mind, to lose your identity, your feeling of self. To have no idea who you are or especially to have no recollection of your closest loved ones. All the laughter, the good times spent with friends, all those memories that make us, us. Just gone.
What you do is commendable. It tells me your a very unselfish person and you genuinely care for these people. I can see how it gives you a sense of gratitude. By helping those who are far less fortunate, you are helping yourself.
I wish I could be that brave, I’m stuck in this negative fear inducing cycle. I’m afraid of just meeting new people. It was suggested to me to do volunteering by my phychiatrist. But if I’m not pushed into something that I perceive as uncomfortable, I won’t do it. The story of my life. But for my own sake I need to.
Take care, and thank you for your thought provoking message.
Yes, it is sad, but what about turning that around and look into the special relationship you have shared all of these years- plus you take her out which is great! Feel good about that- perhaps also if she is aware enough- you could let her know how you are feeling? Also, I have been stuck even some years ago- guess what? It's a feeling, but it's not quite like being stuck in quicksand or held against your will . It's a real feeling though, so it's good that you came here. Remember what FDR said: There is nothing to fear but fear itself( I think I have that)!
Hi Shutterbug65 I can relate to feeling that everyone is sick of me- esp at my low point in NY in 2006 the months before my suicide attempt. Everyone , including my own mother and aunt- would just hang up on me , sick of me calling depressed. If it weren't for the one true friend i had then (she's still my great friend)-- who truly listened even thru hours of my woes- then i would've never gotten out of that state. i personally didn't "get tired" of you- but for one, i went thru a very busy few months that i didn't go on here when i was preparing/packing to leave TX and moved to CO which now that i'm settled here in CO, have had time again to come on here. Moving here is how i solved the dilemma you're in- meaning i have no family , ended up in the hospital in 2016 in Dallas from panic attacks of fears of growing old alone and homeless. (Yes i have estranged relationship with my mother in MA, but she'll be dead when i'm old then i'll really be alone in the world). LONG story short, there's better resources here for mental illness, and i can get into assisted living facility in my 40's whereas in TX i have to wait til age 65 and in TX they don't really take diagnoses of mental illness for those facilities and here they do. i'm still struggling living independently for now, but relieved i have that option to fall back on here. I'm not saying that's the solution for you, but another reason i don't respond to some people here sometimes is, if in the past, they didn't reply back. So that makes me think, that what i wrote was not something that was helpful to them, which is ok but then there's no reason for me to reply again in their future posts. I think that was the case with you, and not that it upset me or anything- but i felt, ok, if you didn't really like or relate to my response to your dilemma, then that is fine but then i'm better off writing those who do like what i say. i think what i've said before, is to maybe seek support groups. Back to that friend i mentioned when i was in my low point in NY in '06- not that i met her in a support group, but she happened to be someone who also suffers from high anxiety and depression, so it was not just her listening to me for hours- i also listened to her problems, for hours. There is great support in a personal face-to-face friendship with one who truly understands you, and going thru similar things. Maybe you didn't like my advice about support groups but i don't know where else you can find people like you. This site is great, but not where i get my primary support- i need physical contact for that. A hand to hold, a hug etc. which i think you're a guy but i see guys hugging each other, in those types of support settings at church, etc. I might have suggested church before to you, and maybe that doesn't appeal to you, but i couldn't do any of this without God. A baby will die if not touched affectionately - even if that baby is fed and given the basic necessities. So many times i've quoted that study on babies as an example of why i go insane when i go too long without human contact/touch- and i mean friendship, i hug my friends when i see them, or hold a friend's hand as we pray together about our struggles. But i've seen those types of affection in non-church support groups also. if you are in the USA, google your nearest NAMI (National Alliance for mental illness). they will have the calendar of all the depression and bipolar, etc groups that meet in your area, plus many other resources to direct you to. if not in USA, i'm sure wherever you are, has a resource like that. Lastly, i know what it's like to not be able to be positive. i'm still very negative. But i try to force myself to say thank God even if i don't mean it. For example i will just say Thank You for my sight, my hearing, my ability to walk, even if i'm not feeling an ounce of positivity. Bc some out there can't see or hear or walk. And if there was one moment of the day that i laughed, i say thank you for that. And sometimes a little positivity can grow, in simply willing oneself to look for something, anything positive in our day. It still is very hard for me to go on and i pray , i pray a lot to get through and i'm very scared also but , i try to live in today as Jesus taught- bc a lot of the bad feelings come from regrets of the past , or worries of the future. Ask for the Grace to live in today only. i pray for your healing.
You can PM me ( I have to remember how)- but I wanted to say this. Sorry that happened to your aunt, and the fact that her"friend" supplied her with something is - well there are no works for that shameful act. Only her doctor should have written her RX. With that being said, you are just being genuine- I have anxiety myself and depression over some things- have for a long time. How nice, that you have such a deep connection to your aunt. That is special , and that is a positive. I wonder if you are projecting her life onto yourself, and that is where the fear comes from? Do you have parents, brothers, sisters etc? Also, even if you do not like your job- you do have one- so that is great! I am not a prof nor do I know you- but is your life just work, and visiting your aunt- maybe you need to also do something active- like joining a walking group, or taking up a hobby of your interest. Also, you have had the same psych for over fifteen years- wow! Who knows- maybe there is also a NAMI group or a Recovery Learning Group near you. NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You do not say where these negative thoughts originated so I imagine they come from somewhere possibly from a long time ago. Maybe , who knows another psych would have some different perspectives. Please PM me if you'd like.
PS- I have read, and even taken some workshops- guess what- in general people's minds tend to go to a negative place- interesting isn't it? So..... in other words - without the proper support- it might be even more challenging to go to a positive place. Do you like to get outside ( always good), make things ( such as repairing projects, etc).? This fear you have certainly isn't living. I know from experience with anxiety.
Hi. I’m sorry I don’t respond back in a timely manner. You are such a strong person to go through all that, deciding to move to Co. from Tex. that’s a big and complicated decision. You seem like a well organized person who is able to do what’s best for themselves. I’m not like that, it’s like I want somebody, anyone to take me by the hand and show me what to do. My doctor has told me so many times that no one is going to come to my door and help me. I need to seek it, but I don’t do what she tell me and I only get worse. When I was younger my grandparents did everything for me, they raised me, they were my parents. I lived with them till they passed away and I was in my 30’s. I remember growing up that they never pushed me to do something I didn’t feel comfortable with, maybe they should have. Because In school I never went to a single dance, or joined any clubs, or went out for sports. I went to school and and came home I had a few friends but spent a lot of time alone. I felt so comfortable with my grandparents, they did so much for me, but I never really learned to live independently, to do things for myself. They were always there for me. And they just figured I’d find my own way. What do you think?
I’m happy you have such a deep belief in faith and thank you for praying for me.
I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of everything and I’m convinced that my anxiety and depression is going to ruin me. I wake up so scared and lonely, I’m convinced I’ll end up in the hospital.
Hi Shutterbug65 no need to say sorry, i'm not very timely myself a lot of the time. I would say i'm a paradox- yes i was forced, not by my own choice, to be independent at such a young age bc there was no one there for me. i was raised by diff. relatives , most didn't really care, so i was already learning to commute in a big city and be off wandering about on my own since age 15, and then lived totally on my own financially and alone every other way, since age 18. So though we grew up opposite, funny we ended up the same in the end. I guess neither extreme is healthy - to be too sheltered, or to be neglected . Healthy is a balance in between. (What happened to your parents- did your depression start when you lost them?) When people tell me i'm strong for having been thru all that, and the multiple times i have moved to diff. states knowing nobody there (didn't know anyone here when i moved to CO - and didn't know anyone in TX when i moved there from NY in '06 either)- but i respond by saying, well, there's no strength left. It keeps deteriorating with time. From 18 to mid-30''s i was able to work (only part-time- i never could do full time) and support myself without any govt help. Then i couldn't do that anymore and since mid-30's have been on disability. Now since hitting my 40's, i've become worse and worse at simply keeping up an apt , cleaning, groceries, etc, since 40s have brought on new physical issues like neck and back pain and worse anxiety. So i feel that soon i won't even be able to do this anymore and hence, came to CO so i could get into assisted living facility here. There were many times i didn't think i'd make it and was sure i'd instead end up hospitalized in TX. Yes i very much wanted someone to take me by the hand and do it with me. But i pressed on thru how hard it was, very hard- knowing that once i got here, it was my safety net. I know if i fall apart again like i did in 2016- i will for sure go forward in applying for the medicaid waiver to get into assisted living. The only reason i haven't done so yet, is bc if i do that, they then take all my income, leave me with only a tiny allowance to get my basic toiletries (since all my meals, etc will be taken care of at facility) and all the more i have no chance of meeting a husband then . Kind of like the situation you described with your aunt- they would take my social security check- but i hope i can find something better than what she is in- since you said it's awful. But that's how bad it gets for me too- that i feel at times so frozen and unable to go on living alone anymore. I don't want to live either but fear of hell stops me from planning to end it, so i'm just waiting to die so i can go to heaven. Trying to feel God as much as i can in the meantime. We both have such similar fears, i don't even know what encouragement i can give you, bc i'm constantly afraid of being hospitalized myself. Friends are a big help, the few real ones i have. I'd be much worse without them. So i will always go back to that for you-- have you turned to NAMI yet? if your psychiatrist has not suggested it i'd be surprised, or was it one of the suggestions you found it overwhelming to do? i know for sure what that's like, to be so tired and unable to do another step. So i'm doing this first step for you- i saw in that post about your aunt, that you're in NJ. so here is a link to NAMI in NJ listing all affiliates in that state. There are support groups that meet weekly usually. A good friend can help so much , someone to do things with, have fun together sometimes. I pray you can find one there that can totally relate to you. That is great you help your aunt, but yes maybe as someone said here, it's negatively affecting your outlook also. I pray you can find friends, peers, that you all can get together and do enjoyable things , take road trips, or game nights, etc. I have a close friend in NJ, i think she is in Perth Amboy. She goes to some similar-type meeting, but not NAMI. She is great to talk to though- if you're in that area let me know and i'll direct you to her meetings. But here is the NAMI link - nami.org/Local-NAMI?state=NJ
First off, don’t apologize for sharing too much. We’re always here to listen. Maybe there’s an outpatient group you can attend. You can meet people and socialize.
I wake up with anxiety everyday too. I don’t have a lot of friends. Actually, like, one friend. Maybe you want to do something else with work. And seeing the same psychiatrist 15 years, you might need a change. Changes can be good. I will be thinking of you 🙏🏼
Hey Shutterbug...This is the first post ive seen of yours in ages....I thought u must have maybe moved on and didn't use the site anymore....Sorry you are still going through the awful morning anxiety...I am too...my brain is like an alarm going off each morning....I too struggle with the negative thoughts every day and my family never come round..so I know the fear of ending up alone...I can even sense your dread in your writing...but someone said to me not long ago ..We get more of what we focus on....and its probably true...if u think about it.....if we don't throw ourselves into the things we used to enjoy even if we met someone we like....we wouldn't have much to talk about....I thought about it a lot and then realized I do spend most of my time thinking about the bad stuff....don't get me wrong ….some of the problems we face are very real but we can also let our thoughts spiral....I agree with MariaLove 15 yrs with the same Psychiatrist ….maybe somone with a new perspective would help.....I had a new one after a year as he just didn't seem to get my situation....Remember ...everyone on here shares and tries to help each other...no one is sick of you my friend.....its probably how youre feeling just now....Im here and so are the others....chat anytime...Sending hugs...
i feel u a bit on this the way i get through my days is i kindof pep talk my self. sometimes i find myself just sitting there not wanting to do anything feeling like its all pointless but i just stop take a deep breath and remind my self of all the beauty thats out there and wat more i can make of my life if i just breathe and move foward. Your not alone and if ever you feel its too much send me a msg im a good listener and i love helping.
Wondered what happened to you? Sorry your brother wants you out. At any rate, have you had any job leads and any other legal advice? Sounds like your brother isn't being one to say the least.
I’m sorry I just saw your reply. I wish you all the best. I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. Sometimes life is so difficult, lots of obstacles in our way but we just keep moving forward the best way we know how. But of course those of us with anxiety and depression those obstacles often seem insurmountable.
It's easier said than done, but why not try to focus with possible help from a group on the positives like " I don;t have the best medical insurance, but I have it, maybe I don't like my job, but I have one, presumably I can still walk, talk, write, eat, etc. Sounds like you could use some more company- have you tried the senior centers? Would you like to get a pet or at least volunteer for a group? I understand some of the issues of getting older, but you are not ancient! I've seen people get better physically ( in their seventies and eighties) with mild exercise. Please tell yourself some positives also. Also, is there a skill ( even from work) that you can share with members of the public- like something you can teach?
I am not sure how long of a space we have to reply here, but I am going to give you a rather long reply to your post.
Changing your attitude from the negative one to a positive one can be very hard. But it is not impossible! It takes practice, practice, practice.
Your brain has neurons that travel the same path throughout any given day. And like any path some are more Traveled the more they are used, kind of like a main road or an interstate. Your negative thoughts are so used to going down the same road. What you must do is make a conscious effort to change the way that you think and view your world around you and therefore cut out new paths, so to speak.
This requires great deal of effort on your part. Look around you right now. Do you have a home? A place to live, lay your head at night? That is a positive. Do you have food to eat? A positive. Do you have transportation, your own car, a bicycle or the means to take a bus to get to where you need to go? Another positive.
There is an exercise that is very very very helpful and I promise you that if you REALLY DO THIS FOR A LONG TIME, YOUR ATTITUDE WILL CHANGE.
OK, here it is. Go to a bookstore like a Barnes and Noble or any place that sells books, and pick yourself out a small blank book, you know, one you write in like a journal. Pick yourself out one with a cover or a pattern on it or picture that speaks to you, reflects who you are. And pick a small one not one of those great big ones. This will be your “Grateful Book”. And since you picked it out it is YOURS.
Now, stay with me here... from now on, each and every evening before you go to bed, you must write down 10 things that you are grateful for. If 10 things is too hard, start with five. And this must be done before you go to bed in the evening, not in the morning, and not during the day. Make this a habit. Make this a priority. make this your #1 priority.
So each evening write down those five things, it will be easy at first. Your home, your car, your food, you have two legs, you have two arms, you have your site and a gift of speech and you can read and you’re fairly healthy. Even if you’re not fairly healthy if you think about it there’s something that works, your fingers, you could hear, you can smell right.....
All of things are something to be grateful for.
Now here’s the kicker. You do this every single night until you fill up that book. But NO REPEATS. That’s right, no repeats at EVER.
So once you get through the obvious things start thinking about the small things we all take for granted. Band-Aids, paperclips, ice cream, air-conditioning, You might be saying to yourself this is stupid. A Band-Aid? I nail file? But if you think about it, wouldn’t life be just the tiniest bit more difficult if you didn’t have that air conditioning, that paper clip, or Band-Aid?
So you keep up with this exercise for several weeks or months, and then without realizing it you go throughout your day looking for five things because you are now HABITUATED to writing these things down each night. Just like you are habituated to brushing your teeth before bed.
You will find yourself looking around during your day and you will find yourself actually noticing some good things about You go throughout your day looking for five things because you know you have to write them down in your book before you go to bed. You will find yourself looking around during your day and you will find yourself actually noticing some good things about life in general and your life in particular. A beautiful bird you saw, a baby smile, that cute little puppy at the park, that hysterical woman in the grocery store, a beautiful sunrise or a fantastic thunderstorm or the way the cool breeze feels in the evening.
THIS REALLY WORKS BUT YOU MUST DO IT.
Another really good way of changing your attitude is this——whenever you have a negative thought or talk to yourself negatively, turn it around. For example, “I hate my job.” Change it to “Even though I really don’t enjoy my job, I get along with some of the people I work with.”
Or “I’m worthless and no one likes me and I will never be happy.” Change it to “Even thought I’m not feeling very positive today, I can be a kind person to others and there is a long time between now and never’ “. Get the idea?
It takes work and it is an effort and but if you keep at it, things WILL get better. It’s a matter of getting into the habit.
I really hope you do these things and stick with them. It may take a few months or more, but it WILL work.
Thank you. What a wonderful post. I need to be pushed into trying new things. I’m always skeptical not that they won’t work, but it just won’t work for me. I have a tendency to give up to soon. But I will try this. I know the way I perceive things and my reactions to them are all negative. And it took years to get this way. I often dwell on my losses, especially loved ones who have passed away. I often feel like I disappointed them. I relive images of my past and I feel I was a different person than, I was happy and less anxious. The key is I had people in my life who loved me, and I felt comforted just knowing they were near, that they would help me if I needed them. Now I’m 53 and I’m absolutely alone and it scares me.
You are right when you wrote it “took years to get this way”. Hopefully it won’t take years to turn your positive side on. Remember, rephrasing negative thoughts are NOT telling yourself a lie and pretending to believe it, it is really trying to look for a positive thing in any given situation.
For example, each of our cars broke down separately. I was in a shopping center parking lot with one of our kids, I called AAA and they came to give me a tow. I thought to myself “Thank you God! I am so thankful the car broke down here and not on the Interstate where I was planning to go next.”
My husbands car LITERALLY died while coming down our street! Some pump or another blew and there was a trail of fluid down the street and right into our driveway where the car just quit and wouldn’t start up again. My husband said “Well, you don’t get much better than that! The car dropped me off right at our front door!”
So, rather than be pissed about the cars, both of us just automatically picked out the positive things about the breakdowns. We thought it was funny that we both had the same attitude despite knowing we would have to shell out to repair both cars. At least we were safe.
It takes practice. And don’t beat yourself up if it takes a while.
I’m sorry you have lost family memberS and feel sad. I’m exactly your age and have lost a brother to cancer and my dad. Sometimes I think about the things I should have said.... but hey, they are gone now and it won’t do them or me any good to dwell on “would have, should have, could have.” Be grateful for the gift of having them in your life for better or worse. Think of the lessons learned.
I’m SURE you can overcome this! Get out for a walk today and look for something to write down! It’s been pouring here for days but it is entertaining to see how the birds fight over worms and chatter/argue with each other. AND I get catch up on indoor chores because I have the perfect excuse to stay inside!
Your attitude is so incredibly positive. My Dad also passed from cancer. I have So many things I wish I could have said to my Dad. But we weren’t much for sentimentality. I was raised by my Grandparents, my mom passed away when I was 11 days old. Of course I never knew her. This devastated my Dad, he lost the love of his life so he decided to go back in the army. He was young and I think the idea of raising a child alone scared him. I never ever regretted my Dad not being around. And he came home on leave for 30 days every year and we had a great time together. So my grandparents became my legal guardians. And that was that. Plus I got some really cool gifts that my Dad sent home when he was overseas. My childhood certainly was not conventional but I was happy.
I miss him so much, and my Grandparents to.
Now I’m 53, alone, and that scares me a lot. And I have so many regrets.
I just now remembered that scene in Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring. If you are familiar with the book I STRONGLY suggest you read it! It’s incredible. The films are pretty darn excellent, too.
Anyway....the scene is one where Frodo says to Gandalf “I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this ever happened.” (Or something similar.)
Gandalf replies “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to do is to decide what to do with the time that is given us.”
THAT, right there there “....decide what to do...” is SOOO important.
And it IS a decision, too. You can decide to improve your attitude, you can DECIDE TO TRY.
Yes I do remember that scene from the movie Lord of The Rings. And I read the three books, as well as The Hobbit.
I will try to improve my attitude. Every morning I wake up alone and scared. I feel I’ve wasted so much of the time that was given to me. And if one thing goes wrong I won’t be able to go on anymore...
Thank you. I’m so tired of being alone. I don’t sleep well, I don’t eat well. I’m tired all the time. And my medications make me feel numb. And the only time I’m around people is at work. I barely scrape by.
No your not being a pain, this is where you should be . We understand what your going through ,cause we are either ..been there ,or are going through something in our lives . I noticed ..ppl who don't have these situations, like anxiety,depression, and whatever . Don't understand them . I also think ..my opinion is their afraid of n see you suffering with it . Sad ..
Here's a example : I was having my first baby n scared n in pain . The nurse said ..I know !! I responded. .oh you have a baby ? She said no , how could she understand! !? Idk maybe it was not nice my reply , but if we don't understand, let's just try too !!
Yes trying to be positive has been my issue- I really don’t have anyone to talk to and my family obviously do not care/ they think I am just a witch and should not be depressed.
Well with no support other than my dr., pastor, and counselor that is all I have
No job or health insurance
But I am able to talk, walk, etc and I will get a job but need to find a place to live in another state
I always think things will work out but lately everything that I try is unsuccessful
Getting old and I am very scared
I do have one dog left- I just my big dog one week ago
Thank you for the encouragement- it is always great to chat with others that understand
Hi. I’m alone to. I can’t remember the last time someone knocked at my door. I never been married and have no children.
Through the years Ive distanced myself from my friends and relatives that they don’t bother with me anymore.
I’m sorry to here your unemployed, I wish I could say something positive to help you. And your right, you can walk and do so many other things that we take for granted everyday, but many cannot.
Hi Shutterbug, I'm fairly new so haven't seen you post on here before. I'm sorry you're so tired of your life and attitude. I've learned that most people won't do anything to change their thoughts and attitudes until they're sick and tired of being sick and tired. I really, really love all the advice you've been given. I can speak from experience - I had to buy a notebook and make a point of writing down 3 things to be grateful for every single night before bed, and then it was 5, 7, 10...and it honestly worked. My nature is to go to the negative and worst possible outcomes automatically, and that will probably never change, and I have to make a point of noticing when I'm defaulting to negative thinking and concentrate on the positive, but I'm able to celebrate the beauty in life now. I started reading the Bible and truly believe God created me and loves me and wants good for me, but I have to do the work. Helping others from what I've learned gives my life meaning because there are honestly so many others out here (like the homeless persons standing on the side of the road holding signs, hoping to find a meal and somewhere to sleep) that have it worse than I do, but they don't give up, and neither will I. I also had to get past my victim thinking mentality and concentrate on the fact that only I can change my attitude and life. I'm wishing you the best!
I know this is an old post but was just wondering how you are now, whether you are still struggling to stay positive or whether things have moved and shifted for the better for you. Sending you love today xxx
I’m so sorry I missed your post. No, things are pretty much the same, I’m simply surviving. But it’s no way to live, I don’t sleep well and I’m always worried.
Im new hear but I pray no one here ever gets tired of someone reaching out. I know myself there is so much I can't change right now or maybe ever. But I can work on it. Look for a away to help others. And accept that I made some really bad choices that lead to my isolation and separation. Choices I can't change. Hang in there and maybe find a new psychiatrist?
Thank you. But I’m tired of fighting this. I don’t sleep well, I worry constantly, and I dwell on all the things are negative, it’s hard to let a positive thought in. I have no support mechanism, if one thing goes wrong I can see myself becoming homeless. My life is the product of bad choices, or simply doing nothing at all and always believing things will get better on there own.
But thank you so much for your caring reply. I hope you are doing well.
Thank you. One day at a time, that’s all we can do. Sorry for my late reply. I’m just so alone and I’m afraid of what will become of me. I have nobody that I’m close to. I’m getting tired of living.
I relate... my family have all passed away and my friends are often busy / distant... keep posting here. You are never truly alone. There is always hope.
You cannot tire of living. Never tire of life. One day God will call you home. Not you! So while you have this time find a moment every day to find gratitude. And when you can't. Stop and think of someone who wanted to live. Who had plans. Who loved life. ..and pay it forward. You are here. They are not. Do not waste that. Please
Okay. It’s just getting tiring fighting all the time. For some reason I can’t stop this negativity. I want to be positive, I want to stop believing I’m a loser. I’m feeling so alone and scared. Life goes on around me and I’m not part of it.
Not sick of you. Don't worry it won't happen. How to be positive. Hmm. I always look for the humor in any situation. I look for the silver linings in the clouds. I heard a good one that kinda says it all. "When all is darkness look for the crack. There is always a crack. That's where the light gets in." 🍀
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I don’t know what to do. 
Admitting I need help 
I need to write
