27 years ago

[Agressive2018]

Well I’m still here and I really need to say something that I’m revisiting. 27 years ago I was dealing with a lot of crap but I was really messed up. I have cut, burned, and other bad s**t and unbelievably I was not charged with assault or battery, nor attempted murder. This past week, for whatever reason, I am feeling those same thoughts and urges that I thought was done with me. Somehow I am wanting to engage in serious s**t again, but I don’t know what I should do about all of it. I cannot tell anyone around me because I will worry some people (family) and they don’t need to have me bothering them. I totally agree, but how do I try to stop these thoughts of harm when I want to do this so badly!

[Emily16]

Do you have a counselor to talk to? It’s great that you’re noticing the signs and doing something to prevent any kind of harmful actions.

[SoberDrunk1]

There are 12 Step groups especially CA which dont follow singleness of purpose that could help. Look at the un-manageability in current situation. Perhaps that is what is causing you to act out other ways. Books like A new Earth or Power of now could help. Eckhart talks about the "Pain Body" in each of us. It remains dormant most of the time but it acts up once in a while. In your case, it was dormant for 27 years. Meditation could help. Let go of your thoughts. They are just thoughts. Dont act on it. Sit in a corner with no distraction and observe the thoughts that are raising. Simply be the observer.