I have a tendency to keep all my problems and struggles to myself while appearing at least half way put together so I decided to just go ahead and try something new.
This past year, while I still haven't been able to hold down a job, I have lost 60 lbs, quit drinking heavily, am up to 8 mile runs and gained a tremendous amount of self confidence and self worth of which I had very little of a few years ago....
However, I have been living with my mother who treated me like garbage, then locked me up in a cult for two years where I literally had less rights then a deathrow inmate and didn't see the sun for more than a year. The stronger I have become, the more she randomly threatens to kick me out to maintain control over me and I finally had it one night and called the cops about the child abuse... And they promptly Baker acted me. Oh joy.
It turned out to be good for me, I'm on effective meds and have learned effective coping skills but then about 3 days ago I found out something that hit me like a ton of bricks so to speak. Combine that with unearthing very old but still deep wounds and I have slipped back a bit.
I have been drinking the past four days, haven't been going on my runs and feel like my life is just changing way too rapidly to keep up.
The worst is over and I reached out for support during that period but joining this group is part of my next step forward.
Frankly I have been trying to ignore not only my strong social anxiety but my undiagnosed PTSD from said cult for the past ten years and I can't seem to get any farther on my own. All in all things are manageable and I am hopeful but I need to start utilizing the tools I have learned and you guys seem pretty safe to talk to so there it is.
Thanks for reading and anything in terms of support would be great. Just knowing people know and give a flying Frank is incredibly helpful and appreciated.
New Here
Here is goes 
New here
Nothing is working
New here
