Another friend gone

[aaronm]

I thought she was my friend. I thought she understood mental illness. I'm married and I swear I didn't have feelings for her but she said I made her uncomfortable and feeling overwhelmed. I don't have friends. Nobody to talk to. Nobody who will listen. I'm all alone. My wife is great but she doesn't understand this part of me. Now what do I do?

[F_stupid]

Hi...I know it can be stressful to not have any one to share your feelings with...I believe it is helpful to engage in some activities like gym or swimming that can allow you to engage while meeting some new people in general..and you will definitely find a good friend ..untill then u can always post and seek help..hang tight and stay hopeful.

[aaronm in reply to F_stupid]

Thank you! Ill try something.

[fauxartist]

share here.... there are lots and lots of guys here too...and the members here are good people....

[aaronm in reply to fauxartist]

I agree there are some great people here.

[fauxartist in reply to aaronm]

the best thing about this crowd here is that they have similar issues with not being able to openly share with most in the real world, they just don't understand what we are dealing with when you have depression etc...these people here do, and they know what it's like to not feel understood, so there is a lot of compassion for others suffering.

[aaronm in reply to fauxartist]

Its so frustrating. Just when I found a friend who I thought really did understand she tells me I make her uncomfortable.

[Starrlight in reply to aaronm]

That hurts but time will heal.

[fauxartist in reply to aaronm]

it's so hard....but sometimes people get overwhelmed for their own reasons, many have so much of their own stuff going on they may feel they can't take on another's stuff too much either....it's not a bad idea to give your friend a little space and then reach out and let her know you understand, and it was not your intention to overload her with your stuff, and that you hope you guys can find some middle ground. And if not...then try not to take it personally.....you have a place here to talk anonymously without judgement, and we have heard it all....so relax and settle in and share here at least....it's some comfort.... it helps me a lot. You can also look into some of the online group 'meetup' sites for like minded people, not a dating site, just a site that has various groups of interests where people can do things in a group venue.

[aaronm in reply to fauxartist]

Your right. Thank you for pointing that out and with the advice. I appreciate you!

[Hidden]

Can always chat if u need mate,

[Hidden]

Hey it’s okay we’re all here for you x you can share your thoughts and feelings with us x though we are all fragile but we hold each other up x

[aaronm in reply to Hidden]

Thank you hope. Your kindness is wonderful!

[Hidden in reply to aaronm]

That’s okay. You deserve it

[MariaLove123]

Aaron, people who don’t have mental illness will never understand what we go through. Unfortunately, losing friends and even family happens a lot with us. It’s their own issues. It’s not you. I’ve been friends with this girl since second grade (were in our 30’s now) and yes we’ve gone a few years here and there not keeping in touch but we always found a way back to each other. She’s always known about my depression and a few months ago we went out and had so much fun. I told her I need her in my life because she always cheers me up. Don’t you know, not long after she wrote a message to me saying she can’t be as close to me as I want to be because she has her own life, blah blah blah. It HURT! It broke my heart. I know exactly how you feel. It makes you lose faith in all your friendships and think that you don’t really even have friends. You do! You have us! You can also meet people near you with this illness! Sometimes it’s good to be surrounded by people like us because you feel safe, not judged and loved no matter what. We’re all here for you. I promise that. And your wife will understand the more you open up and talk to her. I hope you feel better. X

[aaronm in reply to MariaLove123]

My wife tries and that's all I ask. She understands I'm going through a hard time and I need her. I appreciate that others have this same problem with friends who abandon them. Thank you for your story!

[MariaLove123 in reply to aaronm]

💜

[Krazie]

From what i have been reading lately, it appears that mental illness is the new fad. Not to make light of very serious disorders, but I don't think it is possible to go anywhere without someone (or more) having a mental illness. All are probably just like you, and would love to have someone understand, and listen. It does take talking about it, to bring the subject to light. People with mental illnesses are no longer locked away in some attic, or institution (maybe for short periods, to get stable). Most are out there, in the supermarket, at the park, walking down the street, on the job, raising families, going to church, everywhere else.

Many mental health clinics have 'clubhouses' where people can go, and talk to each other about their personal ordeals. The point i am trying to make, is that you are not alone in this, not by a long shot. Your local newspaper might post various groups that are meeting and when. Just a bunch of people who get together, who have similar interests. It's free, but not guided by a therapist.

I have long standing chronic clinical depression, with psychotic features. Just so you know, I am one, too. My personal feeling about those who back away from me when they find out about my mental illness, well, they don't have it in them to be a good friend, anyway. And I find those who do.

Best of luck to you, Aaron. But for the pitfalls, we would be unable to appreciate the sunshine.

[Agora1 in reply to Krazie]

I agree with you Krazie in that mental illness is not a hush hush subject anymore. I think

having the stars come out and admit they have a mental illness has brought this to light.

First it was about drug abuse and now anxiety and depression are starting to make the headlines. Unfortunately, there are still some stipulations on making it public knowledge when applying for a job etc.

[Krazie in reply to Agora1]

You are right, Agora. I am retired now, but when working, I would never have admitted to my co-workers anything about my personal issues. But, I think that is true about a lot of subjects, when at work, unless discussed in the abstract. Then, too, some things just aren't anyone's business. I am not an advocate of spilling out all of one's personal life to casual acquaintances.

When I am stable, no one can guess I have a mental illness. Over the years, I learned to nurture myself, and avoid the things that are likely to bring on an episode. And do the things that are healthy for me.

Mental illness continues to be a stigma, and misunderstood by those who are uneducated on the subject. I believe that, with time, everyone can be accepted for who they are, and whatever they may be dealing with. That is my hope, anyway.

Good talking to you, Agora.

[aaronm in reply to Krazie]

Your so right. I've looked into local support groups and the closest is about 90 minutes drive. I don't think I'm willing to do that.

[Krazie in reply to aaronm]

Bummer. You must be waaaay out there.

Maybe you could start your own group?

[Hidden]

I absolutely understand my man. I have spent the past eight years trying to hide all miserable consequences from my past from people and it just isolated me more. Opening up here with folks has already given me a huge boost to my confidence and just having people who care enough to listen is big. You can always message me as well. Most of society today seems to run from being there for one another the way communities, families and even church's used to. A place like this is a big relief.

Exercise has been critical to my progress over the past year and I just started out walking around the block when I was anxious/upset. I just did my first 15k run a few weeks ago. Start small and be good to yourself.

[aaronm]

Right on!! I can't run but I do a lot of hiking. Yes. This is a good site with good people.

[Krazie]

Getting out into nature is a great stress reliever!!