Life Update

[faulhallen]

Hey everyone!

Sorry I haven’t been on much. I usually try and read at least a few posts a day and I’ve barely been on. It’s not been for any bad reasons at least I’ve just been distracted.

The new job is going well... I think... I have proven track record of being too hard on myself. It’s awfully repetitive and I think it’ll get old fast but either way I’m home with my kids more and I’ll have more time when I move out for whatever. I nearly cried when I got a text message notifying me my direct deposit went through for the full amount of my first check. It still nearly all went to my ex to pay bills but for the first time it felt real that my wait is almost over. There’s still plenty to do but the wait somehow feels less intimidating.

I got into a minor spat with her over the weekend. A friend on here suggested I try MeetUp to make friends so after looking around I found a group for single parents that do events for the three categories of just adults, with or without kids and expressly to bring your kids to. I went to an event yesterday to meet the parents and decide if I liked them but it was kind of a bust because of the weather and being outdoors but I met one of the dads and he seems like a good guy. He has a girl about my daughter’s age.

The fight was over the fact that my ex seems to think it’s a singles group and doesn’t want me taking the kids around a group of people intending to date someone there and I get why she’s mad but I wish she’d give me more credit then that. I mean it’s a possibility I might meet someone there but that could happen anywhere (we’ve been going to the park a lot lately for example) and the next two events are seeing Nightmare Before Christmas at a free showing in a park and an event at a church based around American Ninja Warrior with inflatable obstacle courses for children and real obstacles for teens and adults. I’m looking for fun things to do with my kids and hopefully make some friends, ideally with kids my daughter’s age so they can have play dates and stuff not hookup with single moms🙄.

Anyway, other than that it’s basically the same old stuff. I do really well when I’m out of the house or it’s just me and the kids at home but if my ex and her mother are there it just drags me down so much.

I started my gym membership back up and planned to start going today and I still might. I forgot to get everything together last night and barely slept so by the time I go home and change there’s a good chance I’ll just do laundry and put it off until Wednesday but that’s not the end of the world. I plan to go 3 days a week.

Ill try to find time and inspiration for another motivational post but it may not be today thanks to dogs barking all night 😫.

I hope everyone is doing well! 😃

[Eowyn7]

This all sounds like great progress! I'm so glad your new job is going well. I downloaded Meetup the other day, too, but I haven't signed up for anything yet.

Just my two cents. I'm sure its extra complicated since you're still living together, but she really shouldn't intervene in who you choose to socialize with your kids, unless there is a safety issue. Even if you were trying to date it's none of her business anymore.

[faulhallen in reply to Eowyn7]

Her thing is we agreed to keep significant others away from the kids until we were 100% sure it was going somewhere. She’s already tried to go back on this repeatedly blaming potential childcare problems but whatever. Her argument was how do I keep my significant other from my daughter if our kids are friends. I wouldn’t think that would be a bad thing and all we’d have to do is contain ourselves when they played together but you’re right it’s really not any of her business who I socialize with and choose to date. In a way I think it would be great if our kids were friends if things were serious but there is the fear of my daughter getting attached to her and things ending as well.

[SirGrits]

Yeah man, glad hear some positives. Don't beat yourself up too hard on working out. You are doing way better than me on that account.

[faulhallen in reply to SirGrits]

Thank you. I’m not beating myself up over it (much) but I am tired of always feeling out of shape and it might be in my head but I think my blood pressure is getting bad again. It got better the last time I exercised regularly. I’ve only been today but I plan to go 3 days a week. I’m also hoping it helps with sleeping. I hope you’re doing well 🙂 and thank you again!

[SirGrits in reply to faulhallen]

Yeah I beat myself over not working out in fits and starts. Which is pretty much my work out pattern too.

My new job has me up much earlier than my old job and sleeping soundly has come with the change. An unexpected benefit to be sure. I think I'm turning into a morning person too. Didn't see that coming; the Lord works in mysterious ways.

Be well friend.