Well I've been dealing with anxiety and mild depression for about 3 years. And since those 3 years I have not enjoyed any holidays or my birthdays. And yet again my birthday is approaching soon and I am afraid, sad, worried, and down. First its the fear of dying that still plagues me, then its guilt for not feeling like Ive accomplished or achieved anything that I set my heart out for, and then the thought that I will not make it out of this abyss to a healthy, happy state, and that I'll die a coward.
I cry because I want to be around for my kids to watch them grow into beautiful adults. I cant even get excited that Im going on a cruise for my birthday. And that bothers me even more. I keep thinking the worst. Ive constantly said to myself that I'm a coward because I can't seem to get over my fears or face my fears and let go. I am ashamed and feel like I will die as a coward who will not get the chance to fulfill my purpose here.
Im new to this community. Im usually on the other communty but haven't posted in a long time.
Wish us the best!!!!