Struggling. Even in being mindful the suffering still is with me so I am being with it. It feels tight and kind of like a hard object inside of me punching me trying to be felt heard growing bigger and I need to let it out so I can see it and hopefully repair. Maybe I need to learn a lesson.
I feel so tired of living.
I want to work on a large painting of nature and am just now seeing where I want to go with but maybe a lack of passion is what is stopping me from working. I don’t know. Maybe i need to look at my art in a different way, like I am exploring myself and the world within the painting. I will go learning as I paint. I think I must have started it 8 years ago or more. This is one example of things I wish I was doing but I don’t really feel like doing it. Maybe I will go in small steps to get there. Take out easel ✅ get out paints ✅ brushes ✅...Maybe I will share my progress so that I have more of a reason to do it...