I'm new here and for the last three weeks my anxiety has reared its ugly head. I had a major depressive & anxiety episode two years ago.

[mschloe]

I'm still getting used to this site as I'm not that computer savvy. I went to a new therapist on Tues. & will also attend a women's group so am hopeful that I'll get this under better control. CBT therapy helped so much in the past but am having trouble motivating myself to do what I need to. Am hoping therapy will help with that. Am wondering if anyone on this site is a little older; I'm 65. My greatest issue is being alone; I'm ok for short periods, but I've always hated being alone. My situation is going to get worse soon & I will have to live totally alone; I'm terrified. Anyway, thanks for listening & hope to talk with many of you & maybe be of some help to you.

[raininight]

I don't think I have any advice for you, as I am in the same boat. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone in your experience. I am 41 and also terrified at the prospect of being truly alone - and always have been. I find that expanding my social group (which is unfortunately small) does help some and going to therapy helps also. Sounds like you are doing both of those things, so hang in there. 💖

[gerg]

There are a lot of us seasoned people here. You are not alone, you have all the friends that you want right on this site.

[mschloe in reply to gerg]

Thanks! I probably will be spending alot of time with my "new friends," especially when I'm having really bad days.

[bw333]

Hi, I am 67.

[mschloe in reply to bw333]

Do you live alone? I never have but probably will be soon. I hope therapy can prepare me.

[bw333 in reply to mschloe]

No , I live with my husband, but he works. I am alone during the day. Our children live out of state. There is only my brother n sister, which we see infrequently .

[bw333 in reply to bw333]

I am here if U want to talk. I also suffer from anxiety n know how difficult it is. U r lucky to still be working.

[MT2018]

I'm so sorry you're feeling so lonely! I think it is important to take really good care of yourself-eating right, exercising, sleeping enough-but not too much, having an active social life, etc. One place that is great to look into is a local Senior Center! I have one across the street from my house-which is awesome Not only are there exercise classes, activities like pottery and bingo, but they serve a hot lunch daily for only $2! Oh-and do health clinics there. I also love our church, which gives me a non-blood family here where I have no one! We call each other, get together, text and check on each other etc. Sadly, the older we get the more we may not have people close to us. But, there are still ways to connect with others and build a circle of people who love us and each other. And-you did great online here, for someone who isn't tech savvy

[mschloe in reply to MT2018]

Thanks so much for writing. Before my breakdown two years ago I was going to a senior center frequently & took quite a few classes; I couldn't stick with many of them as I have alot of pain issues. I did take Tai Chi for arthritis for a couple of years & have many friends there, but even that was causing my pain to get worse so I took a break. I plan to give it a try again eventually, but I'll be starting a women's group next week at the same time as the class so it'll have to wait. I do ok Mon thru Fri as I work part time & also attend a group on Wed where we play games & have a lunch; I'm also on the crew that puts it on. Weekends are when I feel extremely lonely as nothing much goes on, & friends spend time with husbands/family. I'm hoping that the therapy & women's group will help me deal better. I haven't had much appetite lately but do eat extremely healthy food. I can't exercise much but do my stretching & walk. I really appreciate your contact & kind words. I hope you had a good day yesterday & will have one today. That's what we have to do, get through day by day. Please keep writing.

[kvolm2016]

What about doing some volunteer work on the weekends? Is there a local organization or cause that appeals to you that you might invest some time in?

[mschloe in reply to kvolm2016]

I might seek out someone at a nearby assisted living facility who has no visitors. I'd love to do something with animals, but I doubt there is anything I can do that wouldn't involve alot of sadness, other than doggy sitting. Wouldn't want to spend the night in a stranger's home though.

[kvolm2016 in reply to mschloe]

There is absolutely a need for visitors for assisted living residents. My 80 y/o mom was relocated to one in July and even in the short time I have been visiting her there, I see sooooo many people who don't ever seem to have anyone there for them. What I am finding is that many of them are just happy to tell you a little bit about themselves and tidbits of their life story. And some of the stories I have found to be very interesting or fun. One woman my mom and I were talking with had a few stories about when she was a teenager living in London during the World War II airstrikes. Another woman was telling us about her career as an electrician where she was always the only female on all her work crews. You would be doing so much good if you could give a little time for this!

[bw333]

How r U doing this weekend?

[mschloe in reply to bw333]

Thanks for asking! Saturday I met with another new therapist who will try EMDR for my anxiety. It's a treatment that sounds promising; hard to explain it but you can research it. Went to a couple stores & got vanilla essential oil for anxiety & Ashwagandha. Went to a friend's house for a family bbq; didn't know anyone & was a little uncomfortable but glad to be somewhere. Did take a little Klonopin after; had a crappy nite even though I took a little more Klonopin. Have Fibromyalgia, Ankylosing Spondylitis & arthritis so lots of pain issues. Am going slow this morning. How are you?

[bw333]

Tired. I also have fibromyalgia and anxiety. U sound like U did well yesterday. Good for U. What is ur job?

[mschloe in reply to bw333]

It's actually a training program funded through the Office for Aging called Legacy Link. It's for older people who have been out of the workforce & have issues & you get put somewhere in a nonprofit. Funny thing is, I'm at a counseling center haha. There are three counselors & three of us doing office work, & we're all 64 years & older so that's great. However, I wanted a younger female counselor with more modern approaches to anxiety so went elsewhere. We can only work up to 29 hours/week & the hours fluctuate according to the funding available; right now we can only do 15/week but hopefully it'll go back up soon. It's only 5 minutes from my home & has become a great social escape for me; we only get minimum wage but that's better than nothing. I doubt I could ever get anything else with all my problems. You can only stay in the program for 4 years so I have 3 to go. I work 4 days & have a fun group on Wed where I help put on a lunch & we play games. These are truly lifelines for me. It's the weekends that I struggle getting through. My exboyfriend still cohabitates with me in the place we jointly own, but he's 15 years younger & works alot & is now seeing someone & looking to move out. He's been very toxic to me for years, but out of fear of being alone, I've stuck. Just like I stayed with a toxic husband for 24 years. When I broke up with the boyfriend 3 years ago (we've been together for 18 years), we still shared the place. Two years ago when I stopped caregiving & was totally feeling lost, I was going to move back to upstate NY. Four days before I was moving I had a total breakdown & admitted myself. I got better, but am still in the same situation as before, & now with him going to move, I'm so scared of having a relapse. Two years ago I also lost my two senior dogs, so that was part of my breakdown too. Plus going back to a cold climate was also scary. Sorry to ramble & sorry if I repeat myself, but I find as I talk with more people, I find I can't remember what I said to whom.

[bw333 in reply to mschloe]

U really have made the best of difficult situations .

[mschloe in reply to bw333]

I wish I never had agreed to go out with the boyfriend as I had reservations over the age difference. If I hadn't, I'd still be in upstate NY where I had tons of friends & acquaintances as I had owned a tavern for 20 years & my husband was a drummer in a super poplar rock band. The husband died at 48 (actually I had divorced him after he got into drugs on top of his alcoholism). Anyway, no telling what direction my life would've gone in, but maybe I'd never have had a breakdown & now this constant underlying anxiety that now is back. I know, we have to stop looking back & looking forward & take it day by day, but as everyone knows, it sure is hard.

[bw333 in reply to mschloe]

U r very insightful!

[bw333 in reply to bw333]

I am sorry this is difficult for U. My thoughts are with U.

[bw333]

U r lucky to still be working! I envy U.

[bw333]

I was a teaching assistant in a special ed classroom for 12 yrs , substitute teacher before that, I really. Is it.

[bw333 in reply to bw333]

Miss is what I meant to write.