Good morning, this is my first time posting and I am already judging myself as I type. “Get over it” “be stronger” “you don’t need help” “overthinking” “grow up” etc etc etc. I’ve had depression for at least 30 years. I’ve managed to have outward successes but I struggle inside. The last month, “friends” are leaving me. I’ve been struggling with pain for 3 years. It’s changed who I am. I’m having more trouble hiding my depression and SI. When I drink which is few times a month. I’ve been drinking more. I’m hurting myself by doing this. My friend said it’s hard for her to care about me when I don’t care about myself! Someone explain to me this rationale. Depression most my life. Deep rooted emotional pain. Frequent SI and now pain that inhibits my ability to be active. And people think this is a good time to leave me alone. What this has taught me is I can only depend on myself and God.