Anxiety getting worse

I am now beginning to not leave my bedroom. I still have these Prozac side effects even though I'm off of it and now on paxil. I feel like things are never going to get better. I'm so discouraged.

[IheartDogs]

Hi there, did something happen that you don't want to leave your room? What do you think might happen if you do leave? It's a good idea to let your doctor and therapist know about this change. These are the times that we have to push ourselves a little even though it's hard.

[Hidden in reply to IheartDogs]

All my anxiety stems from my heart. I think I'm going to have a heart attack even though I've had tests. I get scared when I lay and hear my heart beat then it's just a vicious cycle from there. So therefore I'm scared to do anything really physical.

[IheartDogs in reply to Hidden]

I understand. I used to feel that way but the negative test results helped me. Maybe think about how your thoughts about it are irrational and tell yourself your are healthy. The negative thoughts can be conquered by repeated positive and truthful ones. Please don't let the anxiety lead your life. Your voice is much louder!

[Hidden in reply to IheartDogs]

Thanks so much for the kind words. I guess the Paxil will help also the doctor said.

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

I have heart-related anxiety as well. I had pericarditis several years ago and that experience gave me PTSD. It actually took several years to emerge, but I had two 1 year long bouts of VERY severe anxiety, where I found it difficult or impossible to leave home. I had to always be within a few minutes of a hospital "in case". I was positive I'd have a heart attack at any moment, 24 hours a day, for 12 months. It was exhausting.

I "cured" my anxiety the first time around by giving up. Eventually it became so draining that I just accepted death, at times even inviting it. What this did was train my brain and nervous system to react differently to stimuli. The old pattern was:

1. Felt something weird in my chest

2. Immediately fear the worst

3. Full blown panic attack

After I stopped giving a shit whether I lived or died it became:

1. Felt something weird in my chest

2. Great! Who cares?

I know it sounds silly and even a little morbid/disturbing, but it truly helped. I was 100% anxiety-free for a good 4 years.

Then I moved. I started suffering from heartburn and stress and eventually the anxiety came back. This time it was affecting my relationship so I went on 5mg of Citalopram to nip it in the bud before it got out of hand. That went well...for a week. After that I felt my anxiety actually got worse, which I knew could happen...but that it wasn't supposed to happen for 3 months. I upped my dose to the 10mg I was meant to take, and again I was good for a week. Not perfect, but decent. Eventually my anxiety got REALLY bad, like it crept up on me, until one day I was at my mechanic and got a crazy hot flash and felt like all my blood drained out.

Still I soldiered on, taking my meds...until... One day I missed my pill by accident (I was experimenting with switching to AM dosing instead). I felt amazing. That day felt better than any day I'd had in the past 6 months. The next day I skipped my pill on purpose. Felt even better! I stopped taking them completely and advised my doctor I'd done so. Besides the very rare glimpse I see of anxiety on extremely stressful days, I'm happy to say I'm feeling like myself. My theory is that my nerves were just absolutely ravaged by the stress and the pills gave them some time to recover.

Best of luck!

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

Thanks. Your story really gives me hope.

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

Oh, one more thing - and this can sometimes make the small problems smaller but the big problems bigger - learn to recognize things you've felt before. Once you realize "I've felt this feeling before and I was fine an hour later" you'll find your 'recovery time' gets shorter. The flipside is that sometimes you feel something you HAVEN'T felt before, and then freak the hell out.

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

I'll keep that in mind as well. I really thought I was the only one going through this.

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

Nope, not by a longshot! I've just been to see a cardiologist last month and I found that really helped a lot. He was kind enough to refer me for a CT Scan to REALLY rule everything out. He said with that scan we can look closely at the walls of the major arteries and if they're clean I can really push myself. I've been afraid to exercise, as you can probably identify with. Well if the scan in October is good then I could exercise all I want without fear. I'd advise REALLY gaining an understanding of what heart attacks are. To me they were these mysterious "attacks" (as suggested by the name) that just happened without warning to random people. I felt like "who knows, anyone could drop dead any second!" That's actually extremely unlikely. Strokes and heart attacks are similar and MOST people will never have one, and of the ones that do, it's not likely to be fatal.

You and I are different. We're aware. We're prepared and waiting for it. We get blood tests. We avoid stressing our hearts. If anyone is gonna die of a heart attack, it won't be us.

If you can go to the doctor and have him test you, you'll know if you're at risk. If you are, he can give you steps to take to reduce those odds and get retested. If you're not at risk, you really sort of...CAN'T have a heart attack, so you can fully stop worrying. Hope that helps!

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

I had an EKG and a sonogram of my heart done a couple months ago and they said there is no problem and everything was fine. Encouraged me to walk even.

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

I know it's hard to trust doctors "fully" sometimes but to be perfectly honest with you this is a hard thing for them to get wrong. I just had those tests as well and mine were fine too. If your tests are good then go with it. You can feel normal again, I promise. Your nerves are on high alert. I'm not sure if you're getting "sensations" like I was, but I'm not getting them anymore, and I haven't had my heart replaced, so I'm assuming it was erroneous signals. Don't forget, every feeling you get and every pain or pleasure is only as it is understood by your brain. If your brain is working against you or is messed up, you could very literally have dog lick your hand but feel it as someone poking you in the forehead with a fork. The brain controls EVERYTHING, and when you have anxiety it can be a sneaky sunuvabitch.

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

Which before my big panic attack I was walking nearly a mile a day

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

Get walking again. Having too much energy pent up from inactivity really feeds the anxiety. It's also good for your heart obviously.

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

I'll try. I never thought I'd have anxiety this bad in my life. I've always had it but not to this extent

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

Don't push yourself right away to do anything. The first step is to train your brain not to react to thoughts of fear. If you have intrusive thoughts that are negative and you obsess over them, that's what feeds the anxiety. If you stop giving a shit and tell the anxiety to fuck off (pardon my French) you'll beat it. Just sit with it. Play with it. I used to taunt my anxiety as if it was a person sometimes, for fun. I'd say "is that all you've got? Try to kill me then, go on! I'm waiting..." Then the panic attack fades and you say "That's what I thought, you little bitch!" lol

Get mad at it!

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

Your very correct. I just sit and obsess over negative and unwanted thoughts.

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

If you knew how wussy anxiety really was you wouldn't be afraid. I mean the impact it has is incredible - it's life-ruining level shit, no doubt about that. But what anxiety IS, at its core, is laughable. It's just a bad habit. Like quitting smoking though, it's kind of challenging. You have to realize thoughts can't hurt you and don't have power. They're just thoughts. I can think about kittens all day and read books about them and tattoo the word 'kitten' across my face - doesn't mean I'll become a kitten or that one will fall out of a window into my arms. Same thing here: the fact that you think about heart shit all day is just a bad habit, that you could LITERALLY break tomorrow if you wanted to. It will take longer than one day probably, because you are too trained to think about heart stuff now. But that is the only difference between you and those people you see out in public laughing it up and having a fuckin hoot all the time, is that you have intrusive thoughts and they don't. That's it. I was jealous of those people, but not anymore! It's just a knee-jerk reaction in your brain. It'll pass, train it like a stubborn dog.

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

I have taken your advice to heart and am so happy you came across my post. Thanks again!

[o2G2o in reply to Hidden]

Advice "to heart" - I see you you did there. Post your progress in this thread and I'll get the notifications in my email. Good luck, just let it go man. Throw it away and don't get discouraged when it comes back. It's a SKILL. You have to practice it at first but it's like driving a manual transmission, eventually it's second nature and you don't even realize you're doing it.

[Sandyxoxx]

Give it time ok ,I take paxil ,I'm much much better !! Hope that helped !! Take care n chat back if you need too .

[Hidden in reply to Sandyxoxx]

I just started paxil 3 days ago. I just hope I get feeling better.

[Sandyxoxx in reply to Hidden]

Yep hang it there , hopefully it will work . I gave it lots of time ,been years on paxil