Getting worse..

[darlarae]

I’m doing so bad right now...and i feel like this is the only place I can come to and say how I’m really feeling. My family just wants me snap out of it. To get up and do something. But I can’t. I physically cannot. I have no energy for anything.

I don’t enjoy things i use to love. I don’t want to hang out with friends. I left my job...i have nothing. I have let my life fall apart over the past 6 years and i have no idea how to fix this mess.

The weather was so nice today but I couldn’t manage to go outside...besides going to my doctors appointment this morning.

My days are wasted in bed or in doctor offices..

I’m seeing a therapist and i just started fluoxetine again...waiting for it to kick in so I don’t have to feel like this anymore..

[jkl5500]

I don't want to downplay anything, but what you wrote in your post is textbook depression. Your family doesn't understand it because they haven't gone through it themselves.

Depression "filters out" all the joy and happiness that is part of normal living. All you're left with is the crap. Just keep in mind that these are symptoms - they're not real. Your brain is playing tricks on you. And it WILL pass. Just follow your doc's instructions and stay on your meds.

I'm sorry you had to quit your job. I'm sure that hurts your self esteem. Just remember that all this is temporary, and you'll come charging back once you get your brain chemistry straightened out.

[darlarae in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you. I’m trying to pull myself back together but it’s hard when my body feels like it’s working against me right now...

[jkl5500 in reply to darlarae]

I have been through depression several times in my life. All I can tell you is this: Don't take your awful feelings and symptoms "to heart". That's not how things really are! If you twisted your ankle, you wouldn't walk around on it and say "When will this ever heal?" You would accept that you have to do things differently for awhile, and give yourself a chance to heal. The principle is the same with depression. It's temporary. It may not SEEM that way, but it is!

[darlarae in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you jkl5500 . Your words are very encouraging. I really appreciate it especially right now when I’m feeling so lost.

[Marshall64 in reply to jkl5500]

I couldn't agree more or put it any better. I have depression and have to take it a step at a time. It is hard for me to get motivated when I don't have the energy but at the same time I don't feel like laying around either. I don't feel like talking to people but i may also feel irked that no one is contacting me.

Depression sucks and I have to keep working through it.

[darlarae in reply to Marshall64]

Yes. We just need to keep working on it. I’m feeling pretty hopeful right now after talking to you guys on here. It’s nice knowing I have somewhere to go and talk.

[Marshall64 in reply to darlarae]

Do you have any depression support groups in your area? It has been a big help to me.

[darlarae in reply to Marshall64]

I’m sure I do..it’s just hard for me to get involved in something like that. I just started going to therapy...it took me years to find enough courage to do that.

[Marshall64 in reply to darlarae]

Give yourself some credit then for reaching out to a therapist and getting on this forum. You are taking positive steps.

[bridder01 in reply to Marshall64]

Hiya Darla! I totally agree with Marshall. You have to think baby steps here. One positive step will lead to another. If you have a setback, then we're here for ya. Always remember, you don't have to go through this alone.

"Courage does not always roar...Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'"

Sending cheery thoughts your way,

Brian

[Smd22]

Darla, you sound like me 6 weeks ago. I had so much anxiety and would cry all the time. There wasn't anything in particular to cause this. I felt so helpless. I only left my house to go to the Dr. I quit my job and stopped talking to people. Thank God I have an understanding husband. Give your medicine time to kick in. It does get better. One day at a time.

[BlueJay08]

Please be careful with SSRI's! They change how much info gets absorbed between certain receptors and this causes new ones to form and it can change "who you are". Things that you used to love but not anymore, well this seems to be cured not by getting you to love doing the things you love but to not even care about the thing or the fact that you loved it so now you don't miss it. This is not inclusive but a very serious warning about using long term medication that changes receptor interactions. Another "red flag" that popped up was your desire for the medication to "kick in". Please change your expectations for you to have any chance of succeeding using SSRI's. A dose of Alprazolam (Xanax) for example is expected to kick in, but it does not last very long and is not used for long term. It is for anxiety attacks, seizure prevention, etc... But selective seritonine reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's) are a gradual change and when you do change you may not be the same. After all this it may not have been worth it because you may end up an "empty" person. Please do not stop if you already started taking medication until you talk to your therapist and doctor about this subject I'm bringing up. However the sooner you make an informed desicion on the "contract agreement" of becoming dependant on SSRI's the easier it will be to stop them. There are other forms of treatment but they take a lot of working on yourself. So how hard do you want to be happy and free? If you don't care about responsibility and freedom then take the lazy way out and pop a pill on a routine. Sorry if this was a little harsh but there is no other way to help people who are in danger of being dumbed down on pills. Thank you for reaching out and a big thumbs up on getting professional help

[Hidden in reply to BlueJay08]

yeah me 2 i was taking cipralex for almost 7 months but it didnt work my doctor want me to try to Zoloft but i dont want to i want to be independent from medication because it made me worse .... im having with me xnax and ill take only half pill when i need it

[countryboy1]

I am so glad that you feel that you can express yourself here. We struggle with many of the same things so yes we can empathize with you. Please hang in with your therapist and the prescribed meds. If you don't feel better let your doctor know, perhaps you need a different med, let the doctor make that discission. And continue posting here. This site is a help to me as well. We are in your corner!

[Hidden]

Hiya, so sorry to hear about the difficult time you are facing but, as others have said, with the right medical and other support things will improve. You say, 'My family just wants me snap out of it.' Yes, of course, that would be nice but, of course, it's not possible. If you had, say a kidney infection, would they say that? Of course not - but, in reality, there is no difference. Both are illnesses that need the correct treatment. Are they prepared to learn about depression and anxiety? If so, maybe they could go to a doctor's appointment with you, or read information online or maybe you could print out some of the replies on this forum for them to read? Take care,

[Samtoby313]

I hope you feel better soon. I have been there. Many many times. Just recently it was so bad. I started Wellbutrin and Lamictal and then the dr added Rexulti. Within a couple days it was a night and day difference. That crippling depression and anxiety is gone now. Hang in there. Things always get better. It just takes time. Don’t feel guilty for hanging out in bed or not doing anything. Remember, this is an illness. No different than someone chronically ill with the flu or what not. He world just doesn’t understand how crippling depression can be.

[Susan512]

I'm in the same position as you are, my husband are quick to say I know how you feel and I told him NO YOU DON'T.

He seems to get frustrated when I talked back to him and I don't care.Prayer is keeping me going Hope and Patience is something I rely on that this illness leave my body, I hope the same for in Jesus name amen 🙏

[HelloDutch]

Emdr has helped me tremendously. You can find more about it on the VA website and do self administered emdr on youtube. Also have reactions to certain foods and try to stay away from bread and sugar which can trigger my symptoms. I'm by far perfect but I realize when thise things affect me.

[nickky]

Sorry to hear that you are in such a bad place at the moment I’ve been there so many times and it’s really hard when you have got no support around you.some people really don’t understand that it is a illness and it’s no good telling you to get a grip because you can’t .hopefully the meds will kick in soon and you will feel a bit better about life I’m not saying it’s going to be easy just try and take one step at a time there is a light at the end of the tunnel I know you don’t think it at the moment but you will come out the other side.sometimes I’ve stayed in bed for a month because you really cant Cope with it anymore it’s like a big black cloud hanging over your head even on a sunny day and it’s so exhausting. The only way I get out of it is I get to a point where I am so sick of it I get angry with myself and tell myself I will get better but it takes a long time to get to that point but as I said before there is a light at the end of the tunnel I know you don’t feel that way at the moment but I really hope you get there soon I really sympathise with your situation hope you feel better soon

[RcKitty]

I feel like I could have written this post, expresses so much of how I feel too....