I don't know what to do anymore. A week ago I moved to the US, to live in a small community in the national park and since I came here, I'm feeling more and more paranoid and depressed, I can't talk to any of my coworkers, because I'm on the edge of crying all the time, and I'm thinking of killing myself every day since I came here. The worst thing is, I can't leave this place until September (if I'll decide to quit this job, I'll get deported).
I find a little bit of comfort while staring at my phone and meaninglessly browsing stories, but hey, this is really unhealthy. Even drinking doesn't help, while it usually did in the past.
I think what got me paranoid is the fact that I'm trapped in here, and I can't leave as I please, also I have literally nobody to talk to in here.
I have had symptoms of depression and anxiety for over 10 years now (never diagnosed though, I had an awful experience with a counselor and I was too scared to try ever since). Anyways, do you guys know any ways I could make myself stop feeling like that? Once again, leaving this place is impossible, same as getting professional help - it's a middle of nowhere, and I can't afford online therapy.