I hope all of you have been doing well. I haven’t written on here for a few weeks for many reasons. I have been doing well but some days it’d be hard to process how I’ve been feeling. Just like days as today. My anxiety has been all over the place because I continue to feeling misunderstood. I also feel judged in my classes when it comes to group work. I overthink so much of what they may think of me. I have been having suicidal thoughts but today I was really thinking very dark thoughts. I am seeing my therapist on Saturday, finally after weeks of not being able to see her because the change of schedules. I think I’m going to tell her. I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past but I have never told her. I think it’s time to. I try so so hard to follow the law of attraction but nothing has been working lately. I think it’s mainly because I’m not believing in myself as much. I’m very tired and I keep wondering how it’s feel to not be alive. I just feel alone in this world and it all makes me frustrated with myself. I try not to be so hard on myself but it’s very difficult. I have never told anyone about these thoughts ^ you all will actually be the first.
Thank you so much for reading. Have a goodnight everyone.
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alexah512
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The best saying i've ever heard about suicide is that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You just have to remember whatever your going through is temporary even if it feels endless. But once your on the other side of the problem things will look different. I have had those thoughts and feelings but they did go away. I would definitely talk to your therapist about it. One of the things that keeps me going is the thought that i could be one day away from something changing my life for the better and i don't want to miss it. You never know what tomorrow could bring out may be just what you need.
How did your session with your therapist go on Saturday? I hope you got some help. Life is a challenge but just know you were built for this by a loving God who wants nothing more than to see you be great. Take life one day (sometimes one minute) at a time. Praying you’re in a better state of mind today.
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