I hope all of you have been doing well. I haven’t written on here for a few weeks for many reasons. I have been doing well but some days it’d be hard to process how I’ve been feeling. Just like days as today. My anxiety has been all over the place because I continue to feeling misunderstood. I also feel judged in my classes when it comes to group work. I overthink so much of what they may think of me. I have been having suicidal thoughts but today I was really thinking very dark thoughts. I am seeing my therapist on Saturday, finally after weeks of not being able to see her because the change of schedules. I think I’m going to tell her. I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past but I have never told her. I think it’s time to. I try so so hard to follow the law of attraction but nothing has been working lately. I think it’s mainly because I’m not believing in myself as much. I’m very tired and I keep wondering how it’s feel to not be alive. I just feel alone in this world and it all makes me frustrated with myself. I try not to be so hard on myself but it’s very difficult. I have never told anyone about these thoughts ^ you all will actually be the first.
Thank you so much for reading. Have a goodnight everyone.