Husband with OCD and I am upset

[Rosalma]

My husband is with ocd. He is very much slow in doing home tasks and want to hv control over my belongings to be displaced according to his own will. We got married a month ago while he still has belongings in his parents house that he don't want to move. So he goes everyday back to the parents house for using his things like computer, papers etc.

As a wife, I don't know how to behave. I feel our relationship is getting affected. I become angry, sad, depressed very soon. My own mental health is getting strange. Suggestions are welcome. Thanks.

[Madison10]

You have only been married a month? I believe that is harder for men to move forward in a relationship or marriage. I also think most people have some form of OCD. I say, give him more time, don’t be angry, it about him. I think he is having a hard time leaving the security of his home. He is an adult now with a wife and responsibilities. This is just my opinion based on when I was first married. He will eventually bring all his things into his new life

[Rosalma in reply to Madison10]

Thanks. But my mind becomes sticked to one thought. What if he doesn't change. What if things continued the way they are. How should I make myself calm. At one moment of the day I am relaxed, while the other I go crazy on something simple.

[Madison10 in reply to Rosalma]

I understand. The thought that nothing is going to change or get better drives me crazy. I use meditation to calm me. There are so many ways that meditation can help. You can meditate for minutes. Try googling meditation. Do you have someone to confide in? But you really do need to give everything time. One thing I found out, you never really know somebody until you live with them

[Hidden]

I find it very odd personally,I don't see why he can't have his PC in your home that'd make me wonder all sorts to,don't give yourself a hard time you've done nothing to deserve it.

[Rosalma in reply to Hidden]

He takes time in everything. For proceeding in this relation, then decision on marrying. Contrary to this, when I tried leaving him many times, he was not ready to give up on me. Now after marrying, brining pc out of parents home is a whole big thing for him. He has OCD.

[Hidden in reply to Rosalma]

Yes I read he has ocd already

[Hidden]

First I want to congratulate you on your marriage. I'm so sorry that you are faced with this serious disorder that your husband has. I do have some questions. How long has he been diagnosed with OCD? Does he receive any type of treatment? Is he in therapy or taking medications to help balanced his disorder?

As for the household tasks he has the urge to repeat things over and over again and to have a certain order to things. Which explains why it takes him so long.

My daughter was diagnosed with bi polar and depression when she was young and now she is 23 years old and it has not improved. I was so worried about saying the wrong thing or approaching her about anything. I just wanted peace in my house so I had to adjust the way I approach her. I'm not sure how much of a difference it is with OCD vs bipolar. But they are both in the category of some form of depression. It's really difficult living with someone you love with any type of disorder.

Yes it takes a toll of the individual who is caring and loving that individual. There is a lot of treatments out here but it takes patience and time to find the right treatment and medication to help or treat this condition. Some people choose not to seek help and self medicate which can often times be challenging. But when it affects someone so close as a spouse and with me my daughter its difficult but love and patience and understanding is a step in the right direction. This must be very difficult for you, please don't blame yourself and think that you are not trying. I also think that educating yourself more on OCD and being apart of other forums would be a great benefit. In Hope's that you can find ways to work with him as I can see that you love him.

[Rosalma]

Thanks for your words n sharing personal experience. One good thing in him is patience. In my case, I feel I myself not stable enough to deal with him n his ocd. One day I decide to support him and be kind in everything. While the next day on something that he does or don't due to ocd, I flare up and give up like nothing gonna change. Seems like myself passing through stress as all this was what I was not prepared for.

[Hidden in reply to Rosalma]

Ummmm i have a question, didn't you know how he was before Y all got married cause seemed like now you're surprised

[Rosalma in reply to Hidden]

I knew he had ocd but to which extent, had no idea. As apparently everything was ok. He is perfectly ok "apparently" outside home. Difficult to judge what's going on inside. He is patient n outside home prefers to suffer than to talk about his mind suffering.