husband and job

[Beauty987]

I have suffered with depression on and off. Now my husband seems to be in some kind of funk caused by changes in his workplace. There have been so many changes lately, new bosses, new procedures, etc. He is a Type A personality and has OCD. All of this change is really getting to him. When he is home all he does is complain to me about his job or sit and sulk. I want to be compassionate but it seems like he doesn't hear anything I try to suggest. He just seems to want to sulk about it. Any suggestions?

[shellirgarson]

Both you and your husband would do well in therapy -- I hope that people do not try to manage their anxiety alone - I am so grateful for therapy and working on issues related to my self-esteem which is the core of my panic and stress. Perhaps meds can help as well. Please seek out mental health services - you will feel SO MUCH BETTER - wishing you heaps of love and joy - and know you are not ever alone on this journey!!

[fauxartist]

A lot of people don't like change....they don't do well with it. There's a certain comfort in things being in their place....hopefully when things at his work calm down, so to will his discomfort and his depression will then pass.

[mdowning81]

Is your husband willing to admit he is having issues? If not it might be difficult to help him. As a husband that it suffering through a difficult time with anxiety and depression with work being a major trigger and obstacle for me I can tell you some things that have helped me. 1. My wife has shown me unconditional love and continues to let me know that she is in love with me not my job. One of my big fears in this is that I won't be able to hold my job and then my wife will leave because i'm letting her down. 2. Figure out when to push and when to just cuddle. I am able to admit my troubles and have had very open conversations with my wife letting her know that if left to my own mind and train of thought right now I am going to choose laying on the couch and spacing out and that I might need her to gently nudge me into action. Normally I am a person that it always up f or doing anything but depression has robbed that from me so sometimes I need her to remind me that going and doing something is the only way I am going get through this. But on other occasions such as yesterday I was so down and exhausted she just knew and she just cuddled against me and let me know that it was ok that I didn't have to fake it in that moment and I could let it out and I just broke down and she just held me. I hate not being the man that she married but having her full support and unwavering love can help get me through some of the toughest spots.

[Beauty987 in reply to mdowning81]

Thank you for being so transparent. My husband doesn't open up well and won't share his feelings. However, he does say when i ask him what I can do, that he appreciates that I am just here, holding things together and loving him. He is very strong willed and doesn't like to admit when he does something wrong. I think it makes him feel like a failure and I can tell he hates that feeling. So I am very careful not to criticize him or put him down. And I try not to push him into doing things and making decisions. Thank you again for your comments. They were very insightful to me.

[gogogirl]

I can't advise you of course- but is it possible to take a vacation even a day trip out of the area and break it up a little?

[Beauty987 in reply to gogogirl]

Yes, that is a good idea. He is more like himself when we get away.

[gogogirl in reply to Beauty987]

Good- I think we all are.

[Hidden]

Just be with him. I don’t think you could help him with words. If he sulks then sulk with him. He has to adjust to the new routine.