The beginning of my depression/anxiety struggles

It all started for me back in 1990...in actuality, it started a lot longer that....all throughout my school years...I was constantly bullied and picked on. I was more so a tomb boy growing up...I never liked my appearance and never knew where I fit in with people and had few friends. That went all the way from elementary school all the way through my college years. It was not really until I became an adult that things started to change. When I was in school, I never knew what I wanted to do for a career or what my niche was in life. I was always on the outside looking in. I always felt like the ugly duckling and never saw myself as being beautiful...saw myself as the "Ugly Duckling". It was not until 1990, after I flunked out of college that my life turned upside down....for about 3 months, I went into a deep depression and I just wanted to die. Every night when I went to bed, I prayed to God that He would end my emotional and physical pain. Three months came and went and my Mom talked with me one day and suggested that I meet with my Pastor for counseling. I did that for one year on a weekly basis. And, at that time that really helped me come out of my shell. Things seemed to get better. About a year after that, I suffered a massive panic attack and ended up in the hospital...they could not find anything physically wrong. By that time, I was dealing with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. And, 20-plus years later, I still struggle with them. And, for the last 5 years, I have struggled with an Eating Disorder. It is not easy....so, any help, guidance, advice, support, and encouragement that you can provide; would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening!!! God Bless You!

[bridder01]

Howdy Julester! I'm Brian and welcome to our little community! I can totally understand where you're coming from. I can sympathize. The thing to remember, though, is that the past is just that: the past. You can't change it. You can't alter it. It simply is. You've shouldn't have been treated like that in school. It wasn't fair, or right, or necessary. All you can do now is look to the future. When you're ready to make peace with the past, you will. But, in the here and now, you've got your whole future ahead of you. It's time to tell the depression and eating disorder and everything else to go take a hike! You're not alone in this fight anymore! We're all here to help and support you! By reaching out, you've already taken the first big step! Now, it's just one day at a time

A friend,

Brian