Health Anxiety Struggles.

[77_me]

I'm new to this, the health anxiety and this site. I'm only 22 (female) and I don't want to live a life in fear. I'm hoping that someone out there can help me somehow.

It started out a year and a half ago. I found a dark brown mole, panicked for a week, got it checked out and was told that it was fine and that I was probably born with it. I immediately got relief and started living life as normal until about a year later. Then I found another mole that I knew wasn't there before and it was growing. I went to the clinic and got an appointment with a dermatologist, but it would be 5 months away from that point. Needless to say, I spent those 5 months in torture, convinced I had cancer. I didn't. The biopsy came back benign.

Now here we are. It seems as though as soon as one thing gets cleared in my mind, I start worrying about something else. I went to the clinic again a few days ago because I found a tiny lump under my chin. I stressed about that a lot too. The doctor said it was a cyst and that he's not worried at all.

And now there's a tiny bump under my skin on the palm side of my wrist. I guess it would be the size of a regular pimple (to put it into perspective) and you can only see it if I tilt my wrist as far back as it can go. It's really small, but it's still there and has been for at least a year, probably longer. I can't remember when I noticed it. It's the new thing my mind has decided to stress about. When I first noticed it I just brushed it off. I showed my mom and she felt it and said, "Everyone has lumps and bumps," and didn't seem phased at all. To top it all off, my mom has been a nurse for over 20 years and I assume that if I showed her something alarming, she would tell me to check it out and yet I still worry constantly. I can't turn it off and it's driving me insane.

I need help. I don't know where to turn. Physiologists or other professionals are too expensive for me right now. I have no idea when something is worth worrying about or not. I can't sleep at night, I get nightmares, I wake up just as stressed as when I went to bed. When is it worth worrying? How can I eventually put my mind at ease and get back to the life I used to know before this all happened?

[hb_kenzie]

Hey there. Welcome to the group. I completely understand what you’re going through because I go through the same feelings when something is irregular with me. Not only do I do this with my health, but I do it with everyday things, I think the worst scenario almost all the time and I’m trying to work on not thinking so catastrophically about things, but it’s really really hard to not do it. Is there any way you can see if certain therapists or psychiatrists will take your health insurance (assuming you have it)? I was able to find a place that had tiers of counselors to see, and they charge based on how far they are in their counseling careers (interns, residents, licensed professionals). I was also able to see a psychiatrist who takes my insurance at the same place. If you ever want to or need to talk. You can always reach out to me 😊

[77_me in reply to hb_kenzie]

I actually don't have health insurance as I'm still covered for most things under Canada's government (being under 25). Unfortunately therapists aren't covered.

[hb_kenzie in reply to 77_me]

Ahh I see. That is very frustrating then and I can understand even more why you’re feeling this way. I’m surprised that for people in your situation they don’t have some sort of program set in place to cover this.

[Absmister]

Hello,

I had a similar problem. To the point where I changed my entire lifestyle to prevent anything like cancer creeping up on me. I spent about 6 years like this to the point where a couple of months ago I had a panic attack. After this I couldn't stop having panic attacks day and night (literally all night, at the worst stage I didn't sleep for 4 days). In the past 2 weeks I have recovered a great deal. I now practice mindfullness meditation (with an app called 'headspace') I eat a paleo diet which makes me feel very healthy. I spend a lot of time just relaxing, living rather than thinking. Just letting the thoughts come and go like clouds, not adding to what already pops up. By constantly worrying about my health, I made myself sick through stress. My brain got stuck in flight/fight response and it took a lot of work to get it back to 'normal'. Check out a documentary called 'heal' on netflix if you can. Also Eckhart Tolle on youtube, he is amazing. Also a channel called 'the school of life'. Remember we will change constantly and getting older brings lots of new marks/bumbs/spots that are perfectly natural. Your mind is your most powerful force, it can prove medical science wrong. Don't google symptoms, that is a massive no for me now. You create these thoughts so you can change the way you think about them. They won't go away but you can change how you respond to them. You are stronger than you realise, we all are! Stay strong Best wishes xxx

[77_me in reply to Absmister]

I think I've learned my lesson from googling symptoms. Both times I was so sure I knew what I had. When I got my mole biopsy done, turns out it wasn't even a mole. It was an inflamed area. When I got the cyst checked out, I was sure it was a lymph node.

May I ask when you worry? Well maybe not worry, trying to get away from that word. If you do notice something, when would you consider paying more attention to it and going to the doctor or something?

[Absmister in reply to 77_me]

I have banned myself from googling as I always thought I knew what it was as well. The past few weeks I was almost constantly stuck shaking. Like my whole body was in a tremor, with increased heart rate, struggling to breath, chest pain, sweating. The exact signs of a heart attack. I've had 4 ambulances and have been in hospital over night twice in the past 2 months. I struggled to believe it was all in my head, thinking how could it be this painful? Every day I had a small part of me thinking this is the last day but wouldn't except it because that would destroy my loved ones. It was true though, I've had my brain, heart, lungs, blood, abdomen all tested. I'm still shocked tbh. But once I accepted it, everything got a lot better. The past couple of weeks I've got it to a point where I just get chest pain, slightly tight breathing and increased heart rate on the night. So I guess now I go with if it's critical, my loved ones would call an ambulance and we live in a time where they can pretty much fix everything. If it's something small, it can wait for the doctors opinion not mine. We are young so it's more likely to be nothing. We do things daily which are more likely to cause us harm and don't even think about those. I remind myself I am alive and I have many things in my life which I love, that's amazing for me now.

[77_me in reply to Absmister]

Thanks for reaching out. The struggle is going to be tough, but I'm determined to not let this control my young life.

[Absmister in reply to 77_me]

Your half way there already!

[jkl5500]

There's a lot of good advice given already, but I would like to emphasize one thing:

NEVER Google your symptoms! Ever! If you are anxiety prone, your eyes will leap to the worst possibility there, and you won't be able to get it out of your head.

I've lost count of the people on here who Googled their symptoms and then couldn't stop worrying about it. Take your health concerns to a doctor, and let him or her evaluate you. Please don't "play doctor" with yourself.

[Jeff1943]

77_me, during my life I have had kidney failure, liver failure, cancer of the nose and throat, lung cancer, lymphodemia, Parkinsons, macular degeneration and Muscular Sclerosis. So why am I still here?

It's because all these physical illnesses were fantasy illnesses caused by an over sensitised nervous system. You see, 77_me, when we are experiencing high anxiety we exaggerate all aches, pains, moles and minor problems at least ten-fold. And half the time we know we're doing it but it doesn't entirely reassure us. Even a battery of medical tests that show everything is fine can leave us thinking 'they must have missed something!'

Yes, I included moles on that list. So you see you are not alone. But don't get me wrong. It's important to get our fake illnesses checked out by a doctor because there's a very, very, very, very small chance it's not 'nerves'. As the old saying goes: just because you're paranoid doesn't mean your not being followed😎. So for that reason and the reassurance reports that everything's fine bring do see your doctor anyway.

I myself regularly Google symptoms. But I'm not looking for the bit that says you've got two weeks to live, I'm looking for the bit that says 'although these symptoms sometimes indicate something serious it's much more likely to be something very minor'. Big difference!

As I never tire of saying: you can't cure yourself of an illness you don't have no matter how hard you try. May I suggest that instead of stressing and obsessing about illnesses you don't have (i.e. cancerous moles) focus your attention on curing yourself of the illness you do have - anxiety disorder sub-section health anxiety.

Constant fear is flooding your body with fear hormones that maintain your nerves in their over sensitised state. So when you feel the flash of first fear don't respond to it with second fear.

And whatever you do, don't fight or struggle with your anxiety. Because fighting causes more tension and stress and you need LESS not MORE of that. So just accept the fake physical symptoms and strange exaggerated thoughts for the time being. Accept them completely for the moment. Because you can't accept something and fear it at the same time. Instead of struggling, practice masterly inactivity. Do nothing other than practice Acceptance.

In due course, you will discover that by agreeing to live with anxiety you'll be able to live without it.

77_me, you are 22, nobody is allowed to have cancerous moles at 22. You are in no danger, all things are well. You have been experiencing some form of stress and worry that has caused this anxiety state. Identify it and ruthlessly neutralise it. Eventually when you have replaced fear with Acceptance your nerves will lose their over sensitivity - and you will regain your quiet mind.

[77_me in reply to Jeff1943]

This was really helpful. Thank you so much!

[Lablove515]

Yes to all the advice they gave you! They couldn’t of said it better. If you can’t afford therapy get with a best friend who is positive and lifts you up. Get books that teach you how to cope. My favorite is “hope and help for your nerve” by dr Claire Weekes” it’s a great audio book, also love doterra essential oils they help so much.

[Keepmoving71]

Well honey... you need medical attention.... find a way..... anxiety if left unchecked is very debilitating and can worsen as your brain becomes more and more chemically imbalanced

This is not your fault there is help and hope for you... for now until you FIND A WAY to get to a psychiatrist....use you tube videos to learn about anxiety and listen to positive affirmations.... learn to meditate (you tube) ... REACH OUT FOR HELP YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS ALONE

... you can text me anytime I'm 47 and have 2 girls... 2 and almost 14.... I've battled anxiety for over 20 yrs now.... you're confused and scared as this is a new experience for you.... get help and text me about anything .... you need support... my name is Jackie ....

Hope this helped you even a lit little.... remember your brain is out of balance chemically it sounds like to me.... you brain can get sick sweetie but THERE IS HELP ...... please find it soon... and hang tough dont give in to the fear use distraction for now easiest coping skill for me when my anxiety tries me like a little whinny kid.... besides substance abuse of course, do any activity that shifts your attention from your thoughts.... you can get better but with professional help and there is NO SHAME in it

... text anytime I'm busy but if I can help I'm willing I know how scary anxiety can make life..

I'm here. You don't know me... so what... if you need to talk text 954 761 6838

Jackie

[77_me in reply to Keepmoving71]

Thank you. I always start to wonder if it's just because my mind has been stressed for 5 months with the thought of having skin cancer and I think realizing that I'm not actually invincible scared me. You don't think that anything bad can happen to you, and then you're faced with a situation like that. I need to retrain my brain to go back to normal I think and to learn how to enjoy life for every minute I'm here. I've beaten my social anxiety over the last few years for the most part. I'm confident this will get better. And yes, I agree that support is the best way to do that because without it, you get in your own head. I'll see to look into professional help more and see what I can do.