I’m addicted to fear!!!

[Nutella06]

Not addicted to anything else because the addition of fear makes sure you don’t get addicted to something else. It wants you all to itself. I believe that the underlying cause of all my mental ills is fear. Fear always gets you to question your abilities, feelings, people and what is true and false. It tries to protect you from getting hurt but, ironically it keeps you from trying and creates doubt which causes more pain.

I’ve not taken a lot of chances in life and risked enough all do to fear. It’s made me question to many things that I shouldn’t question and has recked havoc over my entire life.

I understand that some fear is healthy and keeps us from getting injured or killed but, when it runs amok it destroys everything for me. Everyone has a fear whether it be snakes, flying in an airplane, open spaces or even bridges and avoidance can work for a lot of people esp if it’s iust one fear. Unfortunately for me fear is hanging on to me every moment and I just can’t break the pattern of its desrucable path. I fear losing my house, losing my job, losing a loved one, losing my mind, losing my train of thought, losing track of time, losing in life! Well I feel that I have already lost my life and I’m just trying to figure out how to get it back? I’m 45 and don’t have a career, I don’t have a friend I can talk to when I need a friend. I don’t have a 401k and I don’t read well and my working and short term memory are awful. I don’t plan things well and most of the time my mind is working against me and not for me, which I will never understand. I’m very unorganized and I have no goals for the future except trying to free myself from this living hell. I don’t even have a daily routine but, even when I did and I had money I was still miserable and not content. Has anyone been able to tone down their fear so they can get clarity?

[thatjuanguy]

You just have to pick times to take chances and hope it works out. What’s causing all this fear?

[Nutella06]

I don’t know but, I would say change is one of my top fears and it’s a fear I have to get over because change is constant. Im a slow learner and when I finally understand something I feel good about it. If some things change that’s fine and I can tolerate it. If it’s a huge change then I have a huge problem with it. I don’t assimilate well and my problems and disabilities don’t help.

[gerg]

I fully understand how you feel. It is the same hell that took me to my breaking point. I have been working on my anxiety disorder for over six years. I want you to know that there is hope. I had to change almost everything in my life, but I have found contentment and serenity, without regrets. The fears were all irrational thoughts, so I concentrated on learning how to dispute the irrational and find new rational thoughts.

[gogogirl in reply to gerg]

A wonderful post gerg

[IChoose]

There is also anxiety and paranoia. There are ways to conquer or at least live with these two versions of fear. Substances are a disaster.

[Nutella06 in reply to IChoose]

When u say substances are u talking about pharmaceutical drugs?

[IChoose in reply to Nutella06]

I was thinking things like alcohol, cocaine, etc. However, yes, some prescription drugs have psychological side effects. Even too much caffeine can make you jittery. Exercise can help.

[gogogirl]

Sounds like you have some financial fear which is pretty normal. Believe me I understand about a lot of what you are saying and I am a lot older. You mentioned that you are a slow learner , but you sure sound like you have a lot of insight. Life can be tough. What are your passions? Personally, I think that the financial meltdown of the past decades is causing a lot of people to have anxiety. You mentioned something about having disabilities- is that what is causing fear? Feel free to PM me.

[gogogirl]

You said you do not read well, yet your post is very well written! If you would like to have furthur training in something, have you thought about getting a certificate in something so that you can have something solid?

[gogogirl]

You also mentioned that you have a house- so what kind of job do you have?