I’m (still) frozen by fear and self doubt

[Lost_in_life]

I know I’ve posted about this before… but I’m still feeling this way. I’m 54 and, for the first time in my life, I’m unemployed… and I feel like I’m unemployable.

I worked for the same company for 26 years. It closed it’s doors last April. I stupidly “obsoleted” myself. I learned and used various web skills on an “as needed” basis and really fell behind the curve. I’ve been trying to learn (or relearn) some stuff, but I’m pretty overwhelmed.

I feel like I can’t do anything. I’m even looking at crappy minimum wage jobs and feel like I can’t even land one of these. I have no experience in “customer service,” etc. To make matters worse, I feel like I should be working from home because my Dad is 83 years old and might need my help.

I don’t know what to do and I’m frozen with fear and anxiety and self doubt. I'm not suicidal but I feel like I’d be better off dead... there's a ton of other stuff going wrong... and I feel like things are only going to get worse!

[Morethanthesum9]

I am so sorry that this has happened. I was terminated from my job in November 2018 and feel similarly to you; that I am "unemployable" because I was fired. One thing that may help you (and I'm hoping helps me too!) is to go to "open interview" sessions. Many retail stores have these "open interviews" where you come in a certain time frame and interview for a position. I think this is helpful for people like us because they get to connect a face to the application and it gives us a chance to better explain our situation and make a good impression. I'm not sure where you are located, but I am in the United States. They are opening a new grocery store near me called Wegmans and they are having open interviews this Thursday. I figure the worst thing they can say is "no". Good luck! Know that you are not alone!

[Lost_in_life in reply to Morethanthesum9]

Thanks. How do you find out about open interviews? Good luck to you, too!

[Hidden]

Did you contact your local state and city unemployment, employment programs, agencies. They will help you with retraining, support groups, pretty much all the unknown doors you are experiencing right now. Internet has all the agencies phone numbers, addresses to reach out to these state and city programs. Contact them immediately. You will fine, you are experiencing a change in life. You are not alone. You are okay.

[Lost_in_life in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I'm not sure how to find all of these agencies. I found out about one county-level thing but it sounds really obtuse about what it involves. I'm seriously "phobic" about dealing with the government at any level... and filling out forms. I know it's stupid of me.

[Hidden in reply to Lost_in_life]

You are on Internet, look for advocate group and they will,help you with the paperwork and the correct avenues to contact

[lovetodance2018]

I am sorry you lost your job. Over a year ago my husband and I both lost our jobs. It has been a process since then. We didn't have the opportunity to get unemployment, because we lived overseas. Have you checked with unemployment? That will give you a little time to look at what you like to do and what skills you have. Many communities have a career center. You might want to check with them and they can help you find what things you might like to do. My husband found an employment coach on linkedin and he has been helping my husband find what things he would like to do.

Here as some of the questions he asked my husband.

1. What do you love to do, that you would jump out of bed in the morning to go to work – that you are deeply passionate about ?

2. What do you dislike, that you want to make sure your new career does not include?

3. How much money do you need to earn in this new career?

4. How soon do you need to go back to work financially?

5. How much travel would you like to do?

6. How much longer do you think you want to work before you might retire?

Just know you are employable, you just have to decided what is next in your life. For me, I am writing blogs for a website my husband and I started. We also do vlogs that I love creating. Neither make us money, but they do keep me busy. I also just started a new career path, by the way I am almost 50, starting a new career. I decided to become a Health Coach bit.ly/2VG2Co0. It is an amazing opportunity to help people and have flexible hours to work. It is an investment, but I believe it is well worth it for me.

I will be praying you find your new niche. This is just a next step in life. Try to embrace it instead of looking it as the end of your career - look at it is as a new step in your life.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. God Bless. Hugs!

[Lost_in_life in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thanks. I'm pretty limited to what I can do. I certainly can't make any money at what I "want" to do. It looks like I'm pretty much "doomed" to working in some sort of crappy, minimum wage service or retail job until I can retire... if I can even manage to land one of those jobs. I have no experience in anything like that. At least, I have a slightly decent amount of money to retire on once I can. I guess I just have to do something I'll hate (even more than my previous job) for the next ten years or so... if I can make it that long.

[lovetodance2018 in reply to Lost_in_life]

I am sorry you feel there aren't other options out there. However, I know for me a big part of it is my attitude. I have learned no matter what the situation is whether a job I don't really like, or a tough situation I need to find something to be grateful. I have been learning something called emotional brain training. I answer the following questions first more negative ones to more positive ones.

1) I feel angry that.... I feel grateful that....

2) I feel sad that... I feel happy that...

3) I feel afraid that... I feel secure that...

4) I feel guilty that... I feel proud that...

Another book and video I recommend is Lord, Change My Attitude, Before it is too late.

amzn.to/2u0ybwX

bit.ly/2ESJso7

It really helped my realize how my attitude and thoughts can really affect my situations. I will be praying for you and if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me. Hugs and Blessings.